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墨書 Inktalez
I was tightly held in his embrace, feeling the intense rise and fall of his chest, each beat striking my eardrums like a drum.
His heartbeat was erratic and hurried, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes heavy, sometimes light, like a small boat tossed in a storm, unable to find a safe harbor.
This long-awaited hug, this familiar warmth, mixed with joy and sorrow, overwhelmed me like a tide.
I could hardly catch my breath, yet I craved this warmth and couldn't bear to push him away.
A warm tear fell on my shoulder, searing my skin.
It was then that I realized Gu Heng was crying.
The man who once stood so proudly now wept like a child on my shoulder.
" Wan'er," he choked out, his voice so hoarse it was almost inaudible. "These years, I... I missed you so much."
He tightened his arms around me as if trying to meld me into his very being, making me a part of him that would never be separated again.
"I'm sorry," he cried, his tone filled with regret and self-blame. "I'm sorry, Wan'er. It was my fault; I didn't protect you well."
He repeated his apologies over and over like a child who had done something wrong, pleading for my forgiveness.
I could feel the tremor in his voice and the deep-seated remorse that resonated within him.
"All these years, I've lived in pain and guilt," he continued, his voice low and heavy. "I didn't know where you went or if you were doing well."
He loosened his grip slightly, cradling my face in his hands, his eyes filled with anguish and confusion.
"I thought... I thought you would never forgive me." His voice trembled even more violently, as if he might break at any moment.
Looking into his reddened eyes filled me with sorrow.
How much pain and torment had he endured all these years?
" Wan'er," he lifted his head, his eyes red and glistening, gazing at me with an intense look. "Please give me another chance, okay?"
His eyes were filled with hope, like a flicker of light captured in the darkness, unwilling to let go.
"Let me make up for the past. Let me take good care of you, alright?" He looked at me earnestly, his gaze brimming with hope yet tinged with unease.
I gently brushed away the tears at the corners of his eyes, my fingertips touching his warm skin, my heart a tumult of emotions.
Looking at his haggard face, I was overwhelmed with pity and sympathy.
I knew he must have suffered greatly over the years.
And all of it was because of me.
My heart was heavy with guilt; I was the true instigator of our past troubles.
It was I who, in a moment of jealousy and impulse, had buried our love.
It was I who, in my youthful ignorance, had made an irreparable mistake.
Now, I finally understood that I owed him an apology.
"Gu Heng," I took a deep breath and summoned my courage to speak. "I'm sorry."
My voice was soft, yet it carried all my regret and remorse.
Scenes from the past flashed before my eyes.
I saw myself plotting against him out of jealousy for the closeness he shared with my sister, causing him to suffer unjustly.
I saw Gu Heng's disappointed gaze and the resolute figure as he walked away, filled with loneliness and desolation.
I saw myself hiding for years, living in obscurity, too afraid to face him or confront my own conscience.
I found myself waking up repeatedly in the dream, tormented by guilt and regret, unable to find peace night after night.
"I was wrong back then," I choked out, "I was too willful and impulsive to have done such things."
" Wan'er," Gu Heng interrupted me, his voice gentle yet firm, "let the past be the past. Let's start anew, shall we?"
He held my hand tightly, as if trying to dispel all my unease and fear.
"Gu Heng," I lifted my head to meet his gaze, speaking earnestly, "thank you for waiting for me."
My voice trembled slightly, but it was filled with gratitude and relief.
"You silly girl," Gu Heng smiled softly, "how could I ever give you up?"
He gently pulled me into his embrace, my head resting against his chest as I listened to the steady beat of his heart, feeling the warmth of his hold.
" Wan'er," he whispered, "we will never be apart again, okay?"
"Okay." I closed my eyes and nodded gently.
(End of chapter)
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