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墨書 Inktalez
“Gu Chengze, do you even care about me?!”
She screamed, tears streaming down her face. I opened my mouth, but found myself unable to say anything. What could I say? That I loved her? That I was too busy with work? These feeble excuses felt laughable even to me.
“Susan, do you know what Lin Qingwan has been busy with lately?” I grabbed her arm, my voice trembling uncontrollably.
Susan shook off my hand with force, her eyes filled with undisguised disgust. “Gu Chengze, now you think of her? It’s too late! Where were you all this time?!”
“Susan, I know I’m a jerk. I know I’ve wronged her... but I really want to make it right!” I pleaded hoarsely, grasping at the last straw of hope.
“Make it right? With what?! Do you know Lin Qingwan almost died trying to get away from you?!” Susan’s furious shout pierced my eardrums. “She finally managed to start over; don’t you dare ruin her again!”
I collapsed onto the ground, Susan’s words stabbing into my heart like daggers. I knew she was telling the truth; I knew I owed Lin Qingwan more than I could ever repay in this lifetime.
“Gu Chengze, Lin Qingwan is getting married!” Susan’s words struck me like a bolt from the blue, shattering me completely.
“What did you say?!” I grabbed Susan by the collar, my eyes blazing with rage. “Who is she marrying?! No way! She can only be mine!”
“Let go of me!” Susan struggled, shouting at the top of her lungs. “You lunatic! If you keep this up, I’ll call the police!”
I held onto her collar tightly as if it were my last lifeline, refusing to let go.
“Tell me, who is she marrying?! Who is it?!” My voice was low and hoarse, filled with desperation and madness.
Susan looked terrified as she stared at me, her face pale and her eyes brimming with fear and disgust.
“I... I won’t tell you!” she stammered.
“You won’t say? Fine! If you won’t tell me, I’ll find out myself!” I flung Susan away and staggered to my feet.
I took out my phone and dialed a number.
“Find someone for me.” My voice was cold and devoid of emotion. “I want all his information; I want everything about him!”
I would make that man who dared to take Lin Qingwan from me pay dearly!
My eyes were filled with madness and destruction.
---
On the phone screen, the man’s photo filled the entire display.
Jiang Chen, thirty-two years old, a returnee elite, partner at a prestigious law firm… In the photo, he looked handsome and refined, exuding the charm of a mature man.
I stared at the screen intensely, a raging fire burning in my chest. This man was going to take Lin Qingwan from me?!
No! I would never allow it!
I slammed my phone onto the ground, shattering the screen into pieces. Breathing heavily with anger, my chest heaved violently as if all my fury was about to erupt.
“Gu Chengze, what do you want?!”
Suddenly, Lin Qingwan’s desperate scream echoed in my mind.
It was just before our divorce; after days of being away for work, when I finally returned home, I found Lin Qingwan had packed her bags and was ready to leave.
“Lin Qingwan, where are you going?” I rushed forward to grab her hand but she shook me off forcefully.
“Gu Chengze, let’s get a divorce.” She said calmly, her tone devoid of any emotion.
"Divorce?! Why?! Lin Qingwan, tell me why?! Is it because I haven't treated you well enough?! Did I do something wrong?! Just tell me, I can change! I can change anything!" I shook my head frantically, unable to believe my ears.
"Enough, Gu Chengze." She closed her eyes in pain, tears slowly streaming down her cheeks. "I'm tired. I can't keep going like this."
"I don't understand! Lin Qingwan, I don't understand! Haven't we always been fine?! Why suddenly divorce?! Did someone say something to you?! Is someone trying to sow discord between us?! Tell me who it is! I'll go settle the score with them!" I shouted in agitation, losing my sanity.
"No one said anything to you, and no one is trying to sow discord." She opened her eyes and looked at me steadily, her gaze filled with disappointment and sorrow. "Gu Chengze, you've always been good to everyone else, but not to me... You've never truly cared for me, never really understood me, never really loved me..."
Each of her words felt like a sharp knife stabbing into my heart.
I wanted to argue, to defend myself, but I found myself unable to say anything. Because what she said was true.
I had always thought that as long as I provided her with enough material security, she would be happy. But I had never truly cared about her feelings, never really understood her needs, never truly loved her...
"Gu Chengze, the biggest problem between us isn't that I don't love you; it's that you don't love me..." Her voice grew softer until it finally faded into the air.
I wanted to hold on to her, but I realized I was powerless to do so. All I could do was watch as she dragged her suitcase away without looking back.
That day was the darkest day of my life.
"Jiang Chen... Jiang Chen..." I gritted my teeth as I muttered his name, my eyes filled with hatred.
I will make you understand what happens when you dare to take Lin Qingwan from me!
I picked up my phone and dialed a number.
"Get me a few people; I want to... teach Jiang Chen a lesson!" My voice was low and cold, filled with murderous intent.
I would make that man disappear completely from Lin Qingwan's world!
---
"I found it, General Gu." On the other end of the line, the assistant's voice trembled slightly. "Jiang Chen is indeed going to marry Lin Qingwan; the wedding is set for a month from now."
A month...
My heart sank instantly.
"What else did he find out?!" I asked through gritted teeth, my voice laced with suppressed rage.
"He also found that Lin Qingwan seems to love him very much." The assistant's voice grew quieter. "They often attend various events together and appear very intimate; they look... very happy."
Happy?!
That word pierced through my heart like a blade.
Once upon a time, I was supposed to be the one who gave her happiness!
"Enough!" I roared and hung up the phone abruptly.
In a fit of rage, I swept everything off the table onto the floor, leaving the office in chaos.
"Gu Chengze, you're such a waste!" I yelled at my reflection in the mirror. "You destroyed your own happiness! Are you satisfied now?! Are you happy?!"
In the mirror, my face looked twisted and grotesque, my eyes filled with despair and madness.
No! I can't just give up like this!
I absolutely cannot let Lin Qingwan marry someone else!
I have to win her back!
Even if it means... using any means necessary!
I forced myself to calm down and began to think of a strategy.
Should I go directly to find Lin Qingwan? No, that won't work! She definitely doesn't want to see me right now. Besides, with her current temperament, even if I knelt down and begged her, she wouldn't look back.
Then I have no choice but to... take a roundabout approach.
I picked up my phone and dialed a number.
"Susan, it's me." I tried to keep my voice steady. "I want to talk to you about Lin Qingwan."
There was a moment of silence on the other end, and Susan coldly replied, "I have nothing to discuss with you."
"I know you hate me, and I know you don't want to see me," I took a deep breath and said, "But Lin Qingwan's situation concerns her happiness for the rest of her life. Don't you want to consider that for her?"
"What... what do you want?" Susan's tone softened slightly.
"I want to meet with you. I want to understand what's going on between Lin Qingwan and Jiang Chen," I said. "I promise I won't cause any trouble for you or Lin Qingwan."
"Fine, I'll agree," Susan hesitated for a moment before saying, "Tomorrow at three in the afternoon, same place."
After hanging up the phone, I slumped into my chair, feeling a wave of helplessness wash over me.
I admit, I'm scared.
I'm afraid of seeing Lin Qingwan, afraid of hearing her disdain for me, afraid of witnessing her happiness with Jiang Chen.
But I'm even more afraid of losing her.
For Lin Qingwan, I'm willing to do anything.
Even if it means humbling myself and begging her friend.
What will happen tomorrow...?
I don't know.
All I know is that in order to reclaim my happiness, I must give it my all, no matter the cost!
---
My hands trembled uncontrollably on the steering wheel.
Tomorrow, I'll meet Susan.
I don't know what she will tell me or how I should face her.
All I know is that I must learn everything about Lin Qingwan! Even if it... brings me more pain.
These past few days, Lin Qingwan's figure has constantly appeared in my mind.
Her smile, her tears, her tenderness, her determination...
These memories are like sharp blades, mercilessly slicing at my heart again and again. I once had her, yet I pushed her away with my own hands. Now, as I yearn to reclaim her, I find that she has drifted further and further from me. This sense of helplessness nearly suffocates me. I hate Jiang Chen! I hate the man who is about to marry Lin Qingwan! But more than anything, I hate myself! If only I had loved her a little more, cared for her a little more, understood her a little more... perhaps we wouldn't have ended up here.
"Gu Chengze, you are nothing but a self-inflicted bastard!" I shouted at myself, my voice hoarse like a worn-out bellows.
The next day at three in the afternoon, I arrived punctually at the café where I had arranged to meet Susan. From a distance, I spotted her. She was dressed in a black dress, her makeup meticulously done, looking more mature and capable than she did five years ago. She noticed me too; a flicker of disdain crossed her eyes, but she managed to force a smile.
"General Gu, long time no see," she said coldly, her tone devoid of any emotion.
"Susan, long time no see," I replied, trying to maintain my composure.
We sat across from each other, the café filled with the faint aroma of coffee that could not dispel the awkward atmosphere between us.
"Go ahead, what do you want to know?" Susan broke the silence first, her tone icy.
"I want to know about Lin Qingwan... how is she doing now?" I asked, my voice trembling slightly.
"She's doing very well," Susan answered without hesitation, her eyes filled with mockery. "She has a man who loves her and a career she enjoys. Every day she is happy and fulfilled, no longer having to compromise or shed tears for a man who didn't appreciate her."
Susan's words pierced my heart like a sharp blade. I closed my eyes in pain, trying to stop myself from imagining the happiness Lin Qingwan shared with Jiang Chen.
"Gu Chengze, do you regret it now?" Susan's voice whispered in my ear like a devil's temptation.
"Regret? Ha..." I opened my eyes and gave a self-deprecating smile. "I don't just regret it; I wish I could go back five years and slap myself several times!"
"Unfortunately, time cannot flow backward," Susan said coldly. "Everything you are suffering now is of your own making!"
She paused before suddenly sharpening her tone: "By the way, did you know? Lin Qingwan's design studio has become an internationally renowned brand. Her work is adored by countless people. And you? General Gu, besides owning a failing company, what else do you have? You aren't even worthy of carrying her shoes!"
Susan's words crashed over me like a storm, completely engulfing me. The wealth, status, and power I once possessed became meaningless in the face of Lin Qingwan's happiness. I am the one who has nothing!
"Enough! Stop talking!" I cried out in pain as I covered my ears, not wanting to hear any more.
"What’s wrong? Can't take it?" Susan sneered. "Gu Chengze, this is just the beginning! You must remember that the pain you are enduring now is nothing compared to what Lin Qingwan suffered back then! You deserve this! You deserve it!"
After Susan left, I sat alone in the café for a long time, unable to regain my composure.
Her words pierced my heart like sharp blades.
Am I really… worthless?
Do I truly… not deserve Lin Qingwan?
Once, I was Gu Chengze, the president of Gu Group, commanding respect and power. Yet, before Lin Qingwan, I felt so small, so insignificant.
Am I really going to watch her marry someone else?
No! I refuse to accept that!
I will change!
For Lin Qingwan, I will reshape myself!
I want her to know that I am still the man worthy of her love!
From this moment on, I am determined to transform completely.
First, I will change my lifestyle.
I began to quit my late-night habits, going to bed early and rising early each day, committing to physical exercise.
I started learning how to care for others, to be considerate, no longer solely focused on my career while neglecting the feelings of those around me.
I even began learning flower arrangement and cooking, hoping to create some romance and surprises for Lin Qingwan.
I want her to see that I have truly changed.
I am no longer the cold and indifferent Gu Chengze who only knew work.
I have become a better Gu Chengze—one who understands life, knows love, and cherishes what is important.
To understand Jiang Chen, I used all my connections to investigate his background.
Soon, I received a detailed report about Jiang Chen.
As I looked through the information, my heart sank deeper into despair.
Jiang Chen is indeed an exceptional man.
He is handsome and elegant, successful in his career with a solid family background… he is practically the perfect lover.
No wonder Lin Qingwan fell for him.
But…
Within those seemingly perfect details, I discovered an unknown secret.
Jiang Chen seems to have a girlfriend he has been dating for many years?!
As I stared at the photo of the woman embracing Jiang Chen closely, my heart tightened painfully.
Who is this woman?!
What is her relationship with Jiang Chen?!
If Jiang Chen truly has a long-term girlfriend, then… what does he feel for Lin Qingwan?!
I dared not think further.
Yet, I knew this was an opportunity.
An opportunity to reclaim Lin Qingwan!
I clutched the photo tightly in my hand, a cold smile curling at the corners of my mouth.
Jiang Chen... you better pray that you are truly innocent.
Otherwise... I will make you pay a painful price!
I took out my phone and dialed a number.
"Help me investigate this woman... I want to know all her information, the more detailed, the better!" I said into the phone, my voice filled with a chilling calculation.
This time... I will make Jiang Chen's reputation crumble!
" General Gu, we found it," the assistant's voice on the other end was tinged with excitement. "The woman's name is Li Wei, she is Jiang Chen's college classmate and also his... ex-girlfriend."
Ex-girlfriend?
My brows furrowed tightly.
An ex-girlfriend... could make Jiang Chen so cautious and secretive?
"Send me all her information; I want to examine it closely," I said in a low voice.
Soon, I received a detailed report on Li Wei.
Li Wei, twenty-nine years old, a marketing manager at a certain company... The report showed that she and Jiang Chen were lovers during college, and their relationship was quite good; they kept in touch even after graduation.
However, they broke up two years ago.
The reason for the breakup... unknown.
Looking at the sweet photos of Li Wei and Jiang Chen together, an indescribable feeling surged within me.
Lin Qingwan... does she know this?
Does she know that Jiang Chen once had a deeply loved girlfriend?
Does she know about the unforgettable past between Jiang Chen and Li Wei?
Perhaps... she knows nothing at all.
If I were to tell her these things...
What would she think? What would she do?
My heart began to waver.
I had originally planned to use Li Wei's situation to completely ruin Jiang Chen, making him lose everything, thus causing Lin Qingwan to completely give up on him.
But...
Do I really want to do this?
Do I really want to use such despicable means to destroy Lin Qingwan's happiness?
I found myself trapped in deep turmoil.
On one hand, I wanted to do whatever it took to win back Lin Qingwan; on the other hand, I didn't want to hurt her or let her suffer in any way. Just as I was caught in this dilemma, my phone suddenly rang.
It was Lin Qingwan.
"Hello, Chengze," her voice was soft and calm, as if nothing had happened.
"Lin Qingwan..." I struggled to speak, unsure of what to say.
"I know what you want to say," she interrupted me, "About Jiang Chen... I already know."
I was instantly stunned. She... knew?!
"Who told you?" I asked, my voice trembling slightly.
"It doesn't matter," she replied calmly. "What matters is... I believe Jiang Chen."
You believe Jiang Chen?!
Those words struck me like thunder, echoing in my ears. I had thought that once I revealed Jiang Chen's past to her, she would doubt him and perhaps even leave him on her own. But...
She actually said she believed Jiang Chen?!
"Lin Qingwan, you..." I wanted to explain something but found myself at a loss for words.
"Chengze, I know you've never been able to let me go," she sighed and said, "But it's over between us. We can't go back to the way things were. I hope you can let me go and let yourself go too."
With that, she hung up the phone.
Listening to the beeping sound on the line, my heart sank completely. I had thought that if I worked hard enough to change, I could win her heart back. But now it seemed I was wrong. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't change the past. No matter what I did, I couldn't win back Lin Qingwan's heart.
Because... she no longer loved me. She had fallen for someone else.
"Hahaha..." I looked up at the sky and laughed bitterly, my laughter filled with despair and sorrow. Was I really going to give up like this?
No! I refused to accept it! Even if Lin Qingwan no longer loved me, I would make her see that I loved her more than Jiang Chen ever could!
I would prove my love in my own way!
I picked up my phone and dialed a number.
"Help me... arrange an accident!" My voice was low and frantic, filled with a sense of impending doom. This time... I wanted Jiang Chen to completely disappear from this world!
The call connected.
"Hello, did you find out?!" My voice was deep and full of anticipation.
"I found out, General Gu." The assistant's voice on the other end was tinged with excitement. "That Li Wei... she's pregnant!"
What?!
Pregnant?!
My mind went blank.
Jiang Chen... actually got another woman pregnant?!
Wasn't he supposed to marry Lin Qingwan?!
Didn't he say he loved Lin Qingwan deeply?!
How could he betray Lin Qingwan like this and get another woman pregnant?!
A surge of intense anger and disgust welled up within me.
This Jiang Chen... he was nothing but scum!
"What else?!" I asked impatiently. "I want to know everything!"
"Well..." The assistant hesitated before continuing, "That Li Wei... seems to not want to keep the baby. She's been looking for information about... abortion."
Abortion?!
This Jiang Chen... actually wants Li Wei to have an abortion?!
He was simply... worse than a beast!
I clenched my fists tightly, my nails digging deep into my flesh.
I had to tell Lin Qingwan everything!
I needed her to see what kind of person Jiang Chen really was!
I hung up the phone and immediately dialed Lin Qingwan's number.
"Lin Qingwan, I have something to tell you!" My voice was a mix of excitement and urgency.
"Chengze, there's nothing more for us to discuss." Lin Qingwan's tone was cold and distant.
"No! Lin Qingwan, listen to me! Jiang Chen... he's not as good as you think! He... he..." My words stumbled out, unsure of where to begin.
"What happened?!" Lin Qingwan's tone became urgent, clearly sensing something was wrong.
"He... he got another woman pregnant!" I finally mustered the courage to reveal the truth.
Silence fell on the other end of the line.
I held my breath, waiting for Lin Qingwan's response.
Time passed, second by second.
I felt as if I were trapped in an ice cellar, my body cold and trembling.
Finally, Lin Qingwan's voice broke the silence, tinged with a barely perceptible tremor: “What did you say?!”
“I said Jiang Chen got another woman pregnant!” I repeated, my tone filled with anger and satisfaction. “That woman is Li Wei, his ex-girlfriend… They’ve been in contact all along, and… that Li Wei is pregnant!”
On the other end of the line, silence fell once more.
This time, the silence lingered longer, more suffocating than before.
I could imagine how Lin Qingwan must feel at that moment… how shocked, how pained, how desperate she was.
This was what I wanted!
This was what I wanted to see!
I wanted Lin Qingwan to realize what kind of person Jiang Chen really was!
I wanted her to know that only I truly loved her!
“Gu Chengze…” Lin Qingwan's voice was so weak it was almost inaudible. “Are… are you telling the truth?”
“It’s true! Lin Qingwan, I’m not lying to you!” I said urgently. “I have all the evidence; I can show you everything!”
“Okay… I believe you.” Lin Qingwan's voice was filled with exhaustion and despair. “Chengze, thank you… for telling me this.”
With that, she hung up the phone.
As I listened to the beeping sound on the line, I didn’t feel an ounce of excitement or joy.
On the contrary, a wave of inexplicable emptiness and loss surged within me.
I won.
I finally defeated Jiang Chen and made Lin Qingwan see his true colors.
But…
I couldn’t feel happy at all.
Because…
I truly didn’t want to see Lin Qingwan hurt in any way.
I would rather she remained happy and joyful, even if… her happiness wasn’t something I could provide.
I sighed softly, filled with helplessness and sorrow.
What should I do next?
I didn’t know.
All I knew was that my plan for revenge… had only just begun.
“Remember to be clean and decisive; leave no traces behind,” I said into the phone, my eyes filled with madness and destruction. “I want him… to disappear from this world forever!”
I hung up the phone, imagining the impending “accident,” a cold smile curling at my lips; no one would ever take my Lin Qingwan away from me again.
The deafening screech of brakes shattered the midnight tranquility.
I paced anxiously outside the operating room, my mind a chaotic mess.
Lin Qingwan… you must not be in trouble!
In my mind, Jiang Chen's gentle face surfaced, but it only made me feel more nauseous. He was too perfect! Perfect to the point of being hypocritical!
“Doctor! How is she?! How is Lin Qingwan?!” When I saw the doctor come out, I rushed up to him, grabbing his white coat, my voice trembling.
The doctor’s face was pale. “Lin Qingwan is still in surgery; the situation isn’t optimistic… please accept my condolences…”
Condolences?! My vision darkened, and I nearly fainted!
“How could this happen?! What about that scumbag?! Where is Jiang Chen?!” I shouted, wishing I could rush in and tear him apart!
At that moment, hurried footsteps approached. I looked up and was stunned to see… Lin Qingwan!
Her face was ashen, still wearing a hospital gown, her arm wrapped in thick bandages as she limped toward me.
“Lin Qingwan! Are you insane?! Why are you out here instead of resting?!” I hurried over to support her, tears streaming down my face uncontrollably.
“I need to find him! I need to ask him why?!” Lin Qingwan’s voice was hoarse but filled with an unprecedented determination.
“Calm down! In your condition, what good will it do to confront him?!” I tried to reason with her, but it was futile.
“Move aside, Susan! Today I must get answers! Why did he treat me this way?! Why did he lie to me?! Am I really that easy to bully?!”
Lin Qingwan shook off my hand and staggered in another direction.
I knew she wouldn’t listen to anything right now; all I could do was follow closely behind her, ready to catch her if she fell.
We arrived outside the intensive care unit. Through the glass window, I saw Jiang Chen lying on the hospital bed with an oxygen mask, looking feeble and on the brink of death.
Lin Qingwan stopped in her tracks, her gaze icy as she stared at him, her face devoid of any expression.
“Jiang Chen! Wake up! You liar! You scumbag! Why did you do this to me?!” Lin Qingwan suddenly yelled at the glass window, her voice piercing and filled with despair, echoing through the corridor.
I saw Jiang Chen on the bed; his eyelids fluttered slightly as if he wanted to open his eyes but couldn’t manage it.
Tears streamed down Lin Qingwan’s face like pearls slipping from a broken string.
She slowly raised her hand, pointing at Jiang Chen on the bed, her voice trembling as she said, “Jiang Chen, the thing I regret most in this life is loving you! I wish you… may you suffer for all eternity! May you never find peace!”
After saying that, she could no longer hold herself up and collapsed into my arms.
I was finished.
Completely finished.
Looking at my phone screen, at Lin Qingwan's resolute expression and the flood of curses and accusations pouring in, I realized I had become a thorough villain—publicly condemned and forever infamous.
Is this what I wanted?
Is this how I love her?
I don’t know...
All I know is that my world has completely collapsed.
“Lin Qingwan, I know you hate me. I also know I deserve to die a thousand deaths... but I truly love you! I really... can’t live without you...” Tears blurred my vision as I choked out the words, my voice hoarse like a worn-out bellows.
Ding—dong—
The doorbell rang abruptly. Trembling, I opened the door to find Lin Qingwan standing there with an icy expression, still wearing the bloodstained hospital gown from yesterday.
“What do you want?!” I recoiled as if struck by lightning, stepping back in fear as I looked at her, my voice shaking.
“I’m here... to fulfill you.” Lin Qingwan’s voice was as cold as ice, each word squeezed out through clenched teeth, filled with deep-seated hatred.
Fulfill?!
I widened my eyes in terror, not understanding what she meant.
Before I could react, Lin Qingwan suddenly pulled out a fruit knife from behind her and thrust it fiercely toward my chest!
“Ah—!” I screamed in agony as my body fell heavily to the ground, blood instantly soaking my clothes.
I clutched my chest in pain, struggling to lift my head and look at this woman who once was gentle as water but now resembled a vengeful spirit from hell, her eyes filled with madness and murderous intent.
“Lin Qingwan... you...” I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. All I could do was gasp weakly, feeling life ebbing away little by little.
“Gu Chengze, I want you to die! I want you to go to hell carrying your guilt and pain for me!!” Lin Qingwan screamed frantically, raising the fruit knife again to stab me once more!
In that critical moment, I suddenly noticed a glimmering tear rolling down the corner of Lin Qingwan's eye.
My heart trembled violently.
"Lin Qingwan... you..." I reached out my hand, wanting to touch her face, but I found myself unable to lift it.
"Gu Chengze, in the next life... I hope... we never... meet again..." Lin Qingwan's voice grew softer and softer, until it finally vanished completely into the darkness.
My consciousness began to fade as well...
In the last moments of my life, memories of the happy times I spent with Lin Qingwan flooded my mind.
Her laughter, her tears, her tenderness, her playful pouts...
These memories flashed through my mind like an old film, ultimately freezing on the scene of her in a wedding dress, looking at me with happiness.
If... I hadn't made those mistakes...
If... I could have cherished her properly...
Perhaps... we would already have a happy family now...
But alas... it was all too late...
Too late...
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