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My Brother Seduced Me
墨書 Inktalez
My brother is dead, and I am dead too.
We died together in a vague and unclear manner.
In life, I loved him but could not have a happy ending; in death, I am determined to accompany him to the underworld.
Eager to die together, I finally see him again.
"The love between men cannot be brought to light."
"You two are brothers; such behavior is inappropriate and utterly indecent."
What I thought of before dying were the words Father said to me.
I fell in love with my brother.
At night, the moon hangs in the sky, with a few stars dotted across the dark curtain of night. On a distant mountain stands a vague figure, appearing lonely in the night.
That is me; my name is Duan Shi.
I am dressed as a groom. Tonight, I will marry and welcome a woman, my future bride, but she is someone I do not love...
So, I ran away from the wedding.
I'm sorry, that girl.
I already have Beloved.
My Beloved no longer wants me.
If only I hadn't told him I loved him.
Then he could have married and had children normally, living a peaceful life.
But I am unwilling.
Selfishly, I think about why my Beloved has to leave me.
Perhaps it was because I stole his Pear Blossom Pastry and drank his Pear Blossom brew; he must be resenting me; or perhaps I've drunk too much wine and am now completely intoxicated.
When tomorrow comes and I wake up, if he is still there, he will caress my cheek and say to me: "Ashi, my heart belongs to you..."
But I know he will not return.
He is dead.
Enduring torment and humiliation, I died.
I am a man, and my Beloved is also a man.
We are in love, which is already against the norm. Moreover, he is my elder brother—my half-brother—making it even more unethical.
Do all lovers in this world truly end up together?
In stories, the paths of the fox spirit and the scholar intertwine in love, yet they cannot be together; how tragic. The paths of the human and ghost, like Xiao Qian and Ning Caichen, are filled with deep feelings, yet they too cannot be together; how sad. But what about me? The paths of humans are different for him and me; we cannot be together, as it is the desire of the heart and the way of heaven.
Xu Xian and Bai Suzhen are one human and one spirit, their paths different yet ultimately united; but for me and him as brothers, there lies a chasm between heaven and earth, and between hearts.
There are countless lovers in this world, yet only a few truly end up together. Unfortunately for us, our blood ties make our love unforgivable. I do not understand; I do not understand.
I shook my head vigorously and took a big gulp of Pear Blossom wine—it was his, stolen from him.
He never allowed me to drink alcohol; now that he is dead, I will finish all the wine he cherished. If he were angry, he would come back to find me, wouldn’t he? Even if he scolded or hit me, I would accept it.
With tears blurring my vision, I seemed to see him waving at me—was he coming to take me away? If so, does that mean I would die? That would be fine; brother Qinnan, we will meet in the underworld…
I leaped forward and fell from the mountainside.
The Pear Blossom wine was spilled, soaking the ground beneath.
Perhaps it was my tears or perhaps it was his wine.
Before death, one often reflects on the regrets of life; my earliest memory is of meeting my Beloved, brother Qinnan.
That year I was four years old; my mother was Father’s first wife, and I was the legitimate son—the eldest son of the family.
It was an autumn when yellow leaves covered the ground. I squatted down, picked up a leaf, and crushed it in my palm; it crumbled easily into bits. I enjoyed playing like this—crushing leaf after leaf with delight.
After a while, Da Bao, my personal guard, came to find me, excitedly telling me that Father had returned.
My Father is Guardian General; since childhood, I have aspired to become a great general like him. As the legitimate eldest son, it is only natural that I should inherit his legacy.
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