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墨書 Inktalez
He gently embraced me, wiped my tears with his hand, and spoke to me in a tone as if soothing a child, "Ashi, be good, don't cry. Do you know why Father hit you so hard?"
I remained silent, only gripping the fabric of his shirt at his chest.
He continued on his own, "Back then, your mother and your father were the most envied couple in the capital." His tone was filled with envy. "But alas, fate did not favor them. Shortly after their wedding, your father was plotted against and harmed. He was saved by a Courtesan, but that Courtesan was not innocent either; she drugged your father and got into his bed. After that, your mother grew to hate men who frequented brothels. Your father despised that Courtesan for tearing their family apart and eventually took her life himself."
I asked him how he knew this, and he replied that the Courtesan was his mother.
I was stunned, wrapping my arms around his waist, saying, "I don't blame you anymore. I don't blame you anymore, brother. Let's stay together, okay?"
He reached up to pat my head and said, "Okay."
I noticed he particularly liked to pat my head, so I nestled my head into his embrace.
I said, "Brother, I didn't touch those women inside; they are so ugly compared to you. I don't like them."
He said, "Brother knows. I'm so handsome; how could Ashi look for someone else, right?"
I admitted to his narcissistic claim with a soft "mm" through my nose.
He told me to lie down again as he needed to apply medicine on me. I obediently lay on the bed, feeling the coolness of the ointment on my skin and the comfort of his fingertips gliding over me.
The scent of Pear Blossom wafted to my nose; it turned out to be Pear Blossom ointment. I drifted into a deep sleep.
Actually, I wanted to tell him: "You are the most handsome brother; I like you."
At eighteen, when our family was planning a marriage for him, I felt quite restless. He said that wine could dispel sorrow but forbade me from drinking it.
While he was away from home, I secretly dug up some Pear Blossom brew from his courtyard and returned to my room, intending to savor this legendary remedy for sorrow.
Upon opening it, a rich Pear Blossom fragrance filled the air. I took a sip; it didn’t have as strong a Pear Blossom flavor as I expected but was more spicy instead.
I felt a bit disappointed; it didn’t taste as good as he claimed it would. Not believing in misfortune, I took another big gulp.
Feeling a bit dizzy, everything in front of me seemed to split into two—two tables, two doors, two... Wait? Brother?
Perhaps I was drunk; otherwise, how could I see him? I staggered toward that figure, wanting to hold onto him—even if it was just in a dream—I didn’t want him to leave.
I realized that I seemed to have fallen in love with him.
My brother, Duan Qinnan.
I embraced that figure tightly, inhaling the Pear Blossom scent on him; my intoxication deepened even more.
I stumbled and awkwardly pleaded with him not to get married.
He asked me why, and I cried uncontrollably, venting as I said, "I like you, I like you, Brother. How could I possibly like you? But I don't want you to marry someone else."
I heard him say that he still wanted to marry and have children. I tightened my grip on him, afraid that he would leave me again to marry a girl.
I said, "Brother, I'll marry you. Please don't marry anyone else, okay? I'll have children for you, alright?"
Tears blurred my voice.
He said, "Silly girl, you are a man; how can you bear children for me?"
I couldn't tell if it was my imagination, but I felt a hint of teasing in his voice.
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