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Difficulties in Accepting Affection
墨書 Inktalez
Western Yan Kingdom Year 16, Winter
In Xuanjian City, heavy snow fell, and the sky seemed dark enough to collapse. The once lively city now appeared more desolate, with only the occasional calls of small vendors breaking the silence on the vast streets. The people hurried along, each with a worried expression, seemingly fearing that a heavier snowfall would soon arrive.
Suddenly, the sound of urgent hoofbeats and shouts broke the tranquility from the street side. People looked up to see several men dressed in black riding swiftly past, and ahead of them was a small, thin man desperately running forward.
Perhaps because this was under the emperor's rule, such scenes were rare, causing many to stop and watch. It seemed that something significant had happened in the palace again.
For some reason, there had been frequent major events in the palace recently. First, the emperor inexplicably sent the Empress to the Cold Palace, and then he married the Chancellor's daughter, bestowing her the title of Noble Consort.
Naturally, these events became topics of conversation among the common folk. In truth, for the citizens of the city, the Empress never embodied the grace of a mother to the nation; thus, her being sent to the Cold Palace was not unexpected.
At this moment, in one of the most remote palaces within the palace grounds, it was freezing cold outside with ice everywhere. Inside this palace, a chilling wind blew that made one shiver uncontrollably.
At that time, an old maid entered that palace holding a food box, stepping cautiously as she approached. She pushed open a dilapidated door with a creak that echoed in the silence, making it feel even more desolate.
Upon entering, the old maid scolded loudly: "Stop pretending to be dead! Even if you are the Empress, you cannot hide your unfaithfulness. Bah!" Saying this, she spat towards the person lying by the bed.
Seeing that the person on the bed did not move at all, the old maid pulled out a thin whip from her waist—this was specifically used for dealing with disobedient concubines in the Cold Palace. She never expected to use it on the Empress today. While whipping, she shouted: "Get up quickly! It's not that easy to die!"
Finally, the person on the bed stirred slightly and let out a moan while curling up and trembling all over. The old maid stopped upon seeing this and reached out to pinch her arm while shouting: "Get up quickly! Do you want me to feed you?"
The person on the bed finally showed some movement, slowly sitting up with her teeth chattering. She hugged herself tightly and glared at the old maid. Despite her current plight, her eyes still clearly displayed her unwillingness.
The old woman was enraged and raised her hand to strike her back, shouting loudly, "How dare you glare at me? Do you believe I will send you to meet Yama today!"
Whether it was due to the prolonged cold or because she had long since become numb to it all, the whip striking her body no longer felt painful. From the first day she stepped into the Cold Palace until now, it had unknowingly been three months. During this time, she had endured heart-wrenching pain every day.
However, physical pain was nothing compared to what she least expected: that person had not come.
Until she fainted, her mind was blank. She did not know how long it had been when she finally opened her eyes. Looking around, she found herself in the Heavenly Sound Palace. The light pink gauze curtains, the powder-white hairpin on the dressing table, and the teacup on the table were all gifts from him.
Slowly getting out of bed, she couldn't help but reach out to touch those items. Her eyes uncontrollably filled with tears. Just then, someone walked in. Before she could see who it was, she heard that person say, "My beloved consort has acted foolishly again, stepping on the ground without wearing shoes. If you catch a cold, I will be heartbroken."
Before he finished speaking, her tears fell. She turned around and tightly embraced him, whispering, "Your Majesty, I just had a dream where you sent me to the Cold Palace. It was so cold there, and someone beat me every day. It really hurt. I waited every day for you to come save me, but you never appeared."
Finally crying as she spoke these words, she thought he would gently stroke her hair as usual and say, "I will protect you; that day will never come."
But unexpectedly, he suddenly pushed her away and let out a cold laugh. He drew a dagger from his sleeve and stabbed it without hesitation. Pain surged through her abdomen and spread throughout her body as she stared at him wide-eyed.
He remained indifferent and coldly said, "You shameless woman, go die!" Then his face twisted into a sinister smile.
With a gasp, she sat up abruptly and looked around, realizing she was still in that dilapidated Cold Palace. Realizing it was just a dream brought a bitter smile to her face as she thought about how she could possibly step into the Heavenly Sound Palace again.
Perhaps all of this was retribution. Memories flooded back; that year it snowed heavily just like today. The scene was covered in white snow everywhere, with tightly shut doors in every household. No one dared to go outside for fear of freezing to death.
Yet Mu Junqi stood in the middle of the courtyard like a lost soul, allowing the heavy snow to cover her and the biting cold wind to sweep over her while staring blankly into the distance.
Perhaps Mu Junqi never thought that one day she would become the National Mother of Cloud Swallow, because she took advantage of Xia Ziqian's low spirits to get him drunk and share a room with him. To the world, she was just a woman who had lost her chastity and reputation; how could someone like her serve as a model for others?
In reality, nothing happened between them that night, but to outsiders, it was already a scandalous affair. However, Mu Junqi did not regret her decision. What she did not expect was that he would still marry her and that she would become the Empress, second only to him.
Regardless of everything, she had become the Empress of Cloud Swallow, an object of envy for many women in the inner chambers. Yet they did not know that this identity was like an invisible shackle, binding her tightly.
She sat quietly, feeling even colder. Standing up, she walked to the door, where everything outside was covered in white. The Cold Palace had no warmth at all; even her clothing was very thin.
Even now, she still did not understand why he chose to marry her, an Illegitimate Daughter who had lost her virtue.
At that time, her heart was set on the Right Court Judge of the Imperial Medical Institute, Xia Ziqian. From the moment she saw him, her heart raced uncontrollably. To marry him, she devised a plan to share a room with him.
However, she did not expect Mo Xiao Li to order her to be married the next day. This outcome puzzled everyone. So on that snowy night, she gave up everything and prepared to take her own life. Just as her consciousness began to fade, he suddenly appeared and saved her.
Coldly, he said to her, "Mu Junqi, if you die today, I will have everyone in your Shogunate buried with you!" After saying this, he angrily walked away. Mu Junqi lay on the bed, watching his departing figure with a helpless smile; it turned out that death was also a luxury.
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