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Letting Go for Love
墨書 Inktalez
In the early spring of the twenty-fifth year of the Chaoming era, in the Northern Dynasty, at the Qin Minister's Residence, the courtyard was bustling with activity. Prominent families from half of Ming City gathered, making the atmosphere lively.
"Miss, remember when you came of age? There were hardly any guests at the residence. Now, for Miss Qin Huazhi, most of Ming City has come to congratulate you," someone remarked.
"There's a difference between legitimate and illegitimate children," Qin Huashao replied coldly, observing the festive scene. Her tone was calm yet measured. "Remember to be cautious in your words and actions."
Suddenly, someone exclaimed, "The Crown Prince has arrived!" Hua Shao instinctively turned her gaze toward the sound and met the scrutinizing eyes of the Crown Prince.
He stood tall and imposing, with a dignified appearance. His eyes sparkled like cold stars, and his brows were as smooth as if painted.
Perhaps Prime Minister Qin and his wife did not expect the Crown Prince to visit personally, as those at the entrance looked somewhat taken aback. Fortunately, although Hua Shao did not hold the status of a legitimate daughter, she carried herself with grace and composure as she led everyone in kneeling to welcome him.
After a moment, Prime Minister Qin escorted the Crown Prince into the main hall to take his seat of honor, while today’s guest of honor, Qin Huazhi, made her entrance.
It was my coming-of-age ceremony today; my mother had instructed me to make a grand entrance to astonish everyone.
I should indeed be stunning; after all, I have never truly lost in terms of beauty. Even those who look down on me only describe me as "having a beautiful appearance without substance."
However, aside from this beautiful facade, I was utterly lacking in skills—be it music, chess, calligraphy, painting, etiquette, music, archery, or horsemanship—I was genuinely an empty-headed vase.
Despite having a mother who meticulously calculated everything for me—she had chosen one outstanding daughter among my father's many illegitimate daughters: Qin Huashao. She treated her with both kindness and severity, making her my sharp blade against others.
For instance, when I was eight years old and my artwork circulated in private school, it was actually a copy of Sister Huashao's work; when I won first place in a Go competition at ten years old, it was because Sister Huashao had outperformed everyone else in a round-robin match while I merely defeated her; at twelve during a tea party where I arranged incense and flowers, it was Sister Huashao who had switched our works; even last winter during horse racing and archery at Mulan Paddock, she donned a veil and became me—rumor has it she even matched the Crown Prince in skill.
With no real talent or knowledge to speak of, this false reputation often left me feeling anxious.
Today is my coming-of-age ceremony; having the Crown Prince present is an immense honor. Yet I feel like I'm sitting on pins and needles—like there's something prickling at my back or lodged in my throat.
As the festivities continued, many people urged me to showcase my talents. Each time this happened, I felt guilty and exhausted; helplessly looking toward my mother for rescue.
It’s truly disappointing that I can’t live up to expectations—but can I really be blamed for that?
Could it be that it's simply in my nature? Is there some extraordinary force that has sealed off my potential?
When other children could respond fluently, I was still slowly learning to call my parents. When other children could run swiftly to catch butterflies, I could only walk steadily, taking small steps.
As I grew older, my mother hired the most renowned private tutor in Quanmingsheng City for me. Before teaching me, he confidently claimed that "there are no students who cannot be taught." However, after teaching me, he no longer spoke with the same confidence.
I am not the kind of student who lacks knowledge; I can sit quietly and copy the Four Books and Five Classics multiple times without complaining of fatigue. I can also practice a piece of music all night until my fingers bleed, and I can tirelessly practice archery until the bowstring snaps.
Yet it seems that I was born with a deficiency in my intellect; my skills in music, chess, calligraphy, painting, etiquette, music, archery, and horsemanship are all mediocre. I am not as quick to learn as Sister Huashao, nor am I like those truly incompetent individuals. I feel embarrassed to admit that I have ever put in effort.
My mother, frustrated by my lack of progress, often makes excuses for me. But now it is the Crown Prince himself who speaks: "Recently, I brought back some top-quality ice silk strings from Beihai. May I have the honor of inviting Miss Qin Huazhi to try them?"
There was an uproar among the crowd; everyone felt that the Crown Prince valued me, which was something countless young girls would envy—a tremendous fortune. But all I wanted to say was: "This fortune is yours; please take it away without thanks!"
I glanced at my mother; she remained calm and composed as always, unfazed even in the face of a great challenge. But couldn't she see that the Crown Prince was using this opportunity to test my musical skills? Reluctantly, I had no choice but to go along with it.
The moment I sat down at the piano, my heart was still racing. Suddenly, I thought that since he mentioned a sound test, why not just play dumb and give it a try?
I truly only tested a few notes before preparing to wrap things up and step down. The warmth of the wine in my cup had not yet dissipated when the excitement of the crowd abruptly faded.
I stole a glance at the Crown Prince; his face showed some undeniable astonishment. It’s fine; as long as I'm not embarrassed, it's others who should feel awkward.
My mother immediately began to smooth things over with polite remarks and compliments that restored normalcy to the situation. Just as I was about to step down and continue being a foolish ornament, they turned their attention back to me.
My mother mentioned that I had written a poem a few days ago and wanted to ask the Crown Prince for some guidance. Of course, the poem was not actually mine; reading poetry only requires knowing how to read.
The first few lines went well until I reached the line "A horse like a Dilu flies quickly," which exposed me completely.
When I pronounced "de," everyone froze for a moment before bursting into laughter, even the usually stern Crown Prince couldn't help but be amused by me.
Hahaha, it seems this panic won't be resolved. I pursed my lips and remained silent as I stepped down amidst the laughter of the crowd. I couldn't help but exclaim, what a truly unforgettable birthday this is!
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