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墨書 Inktalez
7. The Old Factory Director bought a house for Liu Juan in Xin'an, and life seemed to go on for him. Rumors spread throughout the factory: "Keeping a mistress, how shameful!" "I bet the Factory Director's wife is completely unaware." "Look at her, how can she even show her face at the company?" After several pregnancies, it wasn't that Liu Juan didn't want to keep the children; it was the factory that wouldn't allow it. Some who were closer to Liu Juan kindly advised her, "The Factory Director is someone who gets bored easily. Since he doesn't want children, you might as well leave; you need to find a place for yourself." Liu Juan, however, didn't take their words to heart.
One day, with clear skies and a gentle breeze, Liu Juan, wearing high heels and heavy makeup, finished styling her shoulder-length curls and was walking out of the hair salon when she unexpectedly ran into Zi Mo and Duan Hongfei approaching her. She turned to leave, trying to pretend she didn't recognize them. But Zi Mo spotted her.
"Liu Juan! Liu Juan!" Zi Mo called out from behind.
The three stood facing each other, each with their own thoughts.
"You're just the person I was looking for! What a coincidence running into you here," Zi Mo said with a smile as she grabbed Liu Juan's hand.
"Long time no see," Duan Hongfei greeted.
"You two are together?" Liu Juan whispered.
"We came back together; it was just on the way," Zi Mo didn't catch the underlying meaning in her words.
"Oh, that's nice. It's good to have company."
"Come on, why don't we grab a meal together?"
"No, you two go ahead; I have things to do," Liu Juan replied coldly.
Watching Liu Juan walk away resolutely, Zi Mo felt a bit disappointed. How could a childhood friend just disappear like that?
"What's wrong with you? Is it because he's around?" Zi Mo caught up and blocked her path.
"That's all in the past; I've forgotten about it long ago."
"Then how about I find you later?"
Liu Juan left her address with Zi Mo and hurried away.
Once home, Liu Juan kicked off her shoes in frustration, but the Factory Director was right behind her and pulled her into an embrace, starting his usual routine of kissing, touching, and more. Liu Juan felt like a puppet; her heart sank to the bottom. She envied Zi Mo's elegant demeanor and felt even more pained seeing Duan Hongfei beside her. The two of them together—how could they not be lovers? She hated Zi Mo's hypocrisy; denying it was one thing, but acting overly friendly was another. Wasn't she just flaunting it? After all, she was merely someone's mistress while they were university students. Maintaining a friendship was just for show. The stark contrast between their situations made Liu Juan feel utterly ashamed. The little pride she once had had vanished; now she was just surviving like a wilted leaf.
Yet she still wore a smile on her face, putting on an act of enjoyment. She had to make the Factory Director happy; all her hopes depended on him. Everyone has their fate; she wiped away her tears and accepted whatever bitterness came her way.
8. A gentle breeze blew as he walked her to the bus station where crowds surged back and forth. He had accumulated many words along the way but ultimately remained silent. Meeting Liu Juan filled him with shame; the mistakes of his youth felt like scars etched in his heart.
What would she think of him? He felt a bit flustered.
"This is Liu Juan's address; I wrote it down for you. You should visit her when you have time."
"She already has a new life; it's better not to disturb her."
Zi Mo pulled back the note, creating an awkward atmosphere for a moment.
"Give it to me; I still want to see her."
"You should go back; I'm getting on the bus now."
"Hey!"
"What?"
"How's your guitar playing going?"
"Not great; I'm just learning for fun."
"Oh, then goodbye."
Zi Mo waved goodbye as she boarded the bus and found a seat. She rummaged through her bag for her MP3 player when an exquisite music box caught her eye. The book "Water Under Time" brought her joy as she picked it up and began flipping through it. Suddenly, a piece of paper slipped out. She bent down to pick it up.
"That day, I unexpectedly met you, and it inadvertently stirred my heart. I hope you like the gift - your friend, Duan Hongfei." Zi Mo jumped out of the car, looking around but unable to find his figure.
"The car is leaving! Young lady, get in!" the ticket seller called out.
Zi Mo returned to the car, where soothing music flowed in a loop, and her thoughts began to soar. Throughout her life, she had never liked anyone or been liked by anyone. It came so suddenly that she felt her heart racing, like a pendulum. Love is so mysterious and wonderful. Those are stories of others, filled with separations and quarrels. Some speak of the beauty of love, while others curse its ugliness. What does it taste like? Is it like chocolate, sweet yet bitter? Or like honey, sweet enough to make one lose themselves? Oh no, Zi Mo knew she did not love him; it was the familiar longing for her hometown far away. With this thought, her heart gradually calmed down. If he were not him but another unfamiliar person, would everything be different? She was unsure; a desire for love began to take root in her heart. She gently opened a book, reading each word as she quietly entered another life’s world. "Water Lantern" - a lifetime of a singing actress unfolded in the quiet lines, forming images through flowing thoughts, as if she were walking alongside them. For a moment, she perhaps became the water lantern in the book, accompanying her father through narrow alleys while pushing a cart filled with iron buckets. Oh no, she had once been a little farmer, shoveling horse manure into the cart while her father worked quickly and she slowly.
"Girl, when you grow up, you'll help your dad with work."
"Cart, cart, hurry up! Fertilizing depends on you!"
Time rolled on through the bustling world, flowing as clear as water; it came slowly and then faded away.
9.
"Knock! Knock!" A gentle knock sounded at the door.
Liu Juan opened the door in surprise.
"Just passing by to see you."
"Come in," Liu Juan said coldly.
"Are you okay?"
"Hmph!" She scoffed.
"I've always wanted to apologize to you."
"Save your apologies; I don't need them."
He was momentarily speechless as his gaze fell upon her. Her long curly hair cascaded over her shoulders without any makeup, making her look charming. He withdrew his gaze and placed a bank card down before walking out.
"Don't go; can you stay and keep me company?" she said as she hugged him.
"Let go; we can't anymore."
"I'll do anything; just don't ignore me."
Duan Hongfei grabbed her hand and said seriously, "We can't anymore; please have some self-respect."
"Self-respect? Ha! You tell me to have self-respect when you owe me a debt that you'll never repay in your lifetime!" Liu Juan said fiercely, her sharp gaze leaving him at a loss.
"You've fallen for Zi Mo now, haven't you?" Liu Juan shouted at his retreating figure.
He turned back to glance at her but said nothing before closing the door behind him.
She slumped onto the sofa, tears welling up in her eyes for what once was and for today. To live like a mayfly in this vast world is but a grain in the ocean. Having shed her innocence, she continued living.
10.
She had just entered the house when it felt empty. Her parents were still out working in the fields. The grass needed weeding and the dry land needed watering. It was indeed a busy time. She set down her book and went to gather some firewood to wash pots and cook.
"Girl's back!" her mother exclaimed happily as she entered.
"Mom, I've made dinner; you can eat now."
"Dad?"
Her father simply responded with an "Mm."
Her usually stern father spoke little but loved his daughter dearly; whenever there was something good to eat, he would always say, "Hey mom, has our girl come back? There are some fresh grapes; let her have some."
During the holidays, aside from reading at home, Zi Mo had no special plans and helped her parents in the fields whenever they asked. Just as she was feeling bored, she heard sounds coming from outside the door.
"Thank you, Uncle, I'll go in first." Zi Mo walked out from the inner room and happened to bump into Duan Hongfei.
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to play with you."
"Come inside."
The two fell silent for a moment.
"You can take back the things from my backpack."
Zi Mo handed him the music box.
"No, no, it's just a small gift, you keep it."
"I... we are just ordinary friends, I can't..."
Zi Mo's rejection felt like a bucket of cold water poured over Duan Hongfei's head. He pretended to be relaxed and said, "I just thought it looked nice, so I bought it. It doesn't suit me; you take it. Here's the guitar too."
"No, no, it's too precious," Zi Mo shook her head in refusal.
Duan Hongfei placed the items on her desk. As Zi Mo reached to grab them, he caught her hand. The two were so close that they could clearly feel each other's breath. He wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered, "I really like you," before forcefully kissing her.
"Let go of me, no!" Zi Mo shouted in panic. The mix of shyness and fear made her struggle desperately against him, but he wouldn't let go. "Ouch," Hongfei finally released his grip; his hand hurt as he slumped to the ground. It took him a while to stand up again.
"I'm sorry," he said, lowering his head.
"Just go home."
"Can't you really be my girlfriend?"
Zi Mo silently nodded.
"Why? Is it because you dislike that I had a past with Liu Juan?"
"It has nothing to do with her."
Duan Hongfei walked away feeling ashamed and never sought out Zi Mo again. Even when they encountered each other at school, he kept his distance. She took the initiative to stand in front of him and placed the gift in his hands. "That book is really good; I decided to keep it."
"As long as you like it." They didn't talk much more before Hongfei hurried away, perhaps truly feeling that he could be quite despicable at times. Seeing her filled him with a strong sense of shame—both for her and for Liu Juan; those would be memories he wished to forget.
Later, something shocking happened in Xin'an: the daughter of a factory director was tragically murdered in the wilderness. People lamented the loss of such young life. When police approached the factory director to gather information, the old man hung his head, sighed deeply, and closed his eyes in despair as images of his daughter's terrified face flooded his mind, tears streaming down his face as he felt like a parched desert of hopelessness. The officer gently patted his shoulder and asked, "Did your child show any unusual behavior?"
"No."
"When did she last leave home?"
"In the morning." Just as the police were investigating along the lines of rape and trafficking, the factory director hesitantly shared his suspicions after a long silence. He recounted his tumultuous relationship with Liu Juan—how he had grown tired of her and had started seeing another woman, ultimately abandoning Liu Juan and firing her from the factory. The memory of her crazed expression that day was etched deeply in his mind. "You will pay for this," were the harshest words she had ever said to him. He realized later that there had been a murderous glint in her eyes.
Soon after, fingerprints belonging to Liu Juan were found at the crime scene. When Liu Juan was executed for her crimes, she remained eerily calm; this sensational case eventually settled down. She became known as Xin'an's most beautiful female convict. In truth, she hadn't intended to kill; she only wanted to extort some money. When the girl regained consciousness from her stupor and recognized Liu Juan, she simply asked, "Auntie, why did you bring me here?" Terrified, she heard her accomplice say, "Get the money and then get rid of her." Before help could arrive, there was a struggle as the girl fought back against being bound; her head struck heavily against a metal rod. In an instant, blood pooled on the ground like a dark hole that swallowed Liu Juan whole—she could never escape.
When Zi Mo returned to her hometown as an established white-collar worker in a big city, she loved literature and often wrote stories about her past that lingered in her mind. She penned down memories of fleeting moments in time and reflected on them fondly. Dear friend, if you are fortunate enough to read this, thank you for taking it as seriously as I did when revisiting those mottled years. Remember that forgotten "little fairy" girl.
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