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墨書 Inktalez
Yikeng took me to his house.
This is my third time coming to this place.
My mood is completely different from the previous two times.
Yikeng poured me a cup of coffee.
“Ding Pengpeng, let's take this opportunity to clear the air today.”
“I want to ask you, why did you break up with me back then?”
I said, “Because you were too good, I felt like a burden.”
“So I thought breaking up was the best choice.”
Yikeng stared at me: “But later, you didn't say that.”
“You said you got tired of playing.”
I was stunned.
At that time, when I said those words to Liang Qiuyao, I never thought Yikeng would find out.
I never expected that this statement would hurt Yikeng.
"Yikeng, I..."
Yikeng interrupted me, as if he guessed what I was about to say.
"Ding Pengpeng, I understand."
"What you want to say is that you think I'm just a toy."
"And when you're tired of playing with me, you'll just discard me."
I: "..."
Yikeng: "You think that after four years of this relationship, plus the upheaval in your family, I can't help you at all."
"So, you want to get rid of me."
I opened my mouth, wanting to explain, but Yikeng spoke before I could.
" Pengpeng, you don't need to explain."
"If that's the case, it's okay."
"I've already thought it through. Even if I'm just a toy, I want to stay by your side forever."
"Even if you get tired of me, it's fine. I will do everything I can to become a new toy that satisfies you."
“ Pengpeng, do you know?”
“I’m really so happy.”
At this, Yikeng smiled.
I smiled along with him.
I recalled those youthful times.
I remembered Yikeng standing in the sunlight.
I remembered him wearing a white shirt, standing in front of me, saying, “Ding Pengpeng, I like you.”
I remembered him skipping class with me, climbing mountains, and watching the sunrise and sunset.
I remembered him drinking with me, laughing with me, and causing mischief with me.
I recalled every word he said to me.
I remembered everything he did for me.
Actually, at that time, I didn’t think this way.
I just don't want to be a burden to him.
At that time, Yikeng had just started making some money from live streaming, transitioning from debt to a slight surplus.
As for me, I had just been hit hard by my family's bankruptcy and had watched helplessly as my grandfather passed away because he couldn't afford surgery.
I couldn't accept Yikeng's money.
I was afraid of becoming a burden.
I was even more afraid that the feelings between us would lose their purity.
That's why I said those angry words.
I smiled and said, "Yikeng, what I said back then was out of anger."
"I don't see you as a toy; I'm genuinely in love with you."
Yikeng nodded, "I know, that's why I just said that even if I were a toy, it wouldn't matter."
"I will become the toy you like."
"But Ding Pengpeng, you said you were tired of it."
"I know you must have other reasons because you're not the type to get bored easily."
"But I never expected that we would misunderstand each other to such an extent."
"I thought you were tired of it, so you didn't want to waste my youth, not wanting me to suffer alongside you."
"And you thought I saw you as just a tool, someone to support me, even at the cost of ruining your own future."
"Ding Pengpeng, do you know why I thought that?"
I replied, "Because our circumstances are too different."
"At that time, I had just started earning a little money from live streaming, just enough for my tuition and living expenses."
"Meanwhile, your family went bankrupt, with debts amounting to millions."
"With such a huge hole to fill, you had to force yourself to cover it."
"I thought you were with me just for fun."
"After all, back then, you made it very clear that you would rather accept Guan Shu's help than mine."
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