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墨書 Inktalez
"Yuyu, trust me."
"I won't be inattentive, I won't be indecisive, and I won't make you cry or feel sad."
"So... let's be together properly, okay?"
13
I didn't cater to him, nor did I respond; I simply pushed him away gently.
"I'm sorry," I apologized, looking down.
"What are you sorry for?" Lu Nancheng looked into my eyes.
I bit my lip and said softly, "I don't know how to explain it to you."
"But Lu Nancheng, I don't want to talk about feelings anymore."
"We..."
"What does that count as?" Lu Nancheng stared at me, "What do we count as, Yuyu?"
I lowered my gaze to avoid his eyes.
"Just a mutual need."
"If you feel uncomfortable, you can think of me as..."
I bit my lip: "A tool for fulfilling physical needs."
"I'm sorry, if you don't like it... I can leave Licheng and never disturb you again."
After saying this, Lu Nancheng remained silent for a long time.
I looked up at him and realized that his eyes were already red.
He released his hand and took a step back.
It seemed like he was smiling, but the smile was shattered: "I understand now, I need time to think."
After saying that, he turned and walked out.
I instinctively took a step forward, but ultimately stopped.
Lu Nancheng, thank you.
Lu Nancheng reached the door, his hand gripping the doorknob.
He didn't turn around, just slightly turned his face: "Don't overthink it, I just want to be alone for a while."
He smiled at me reassuringly: "Once I've calmed down, I'll come find you."
I nodded: "Okay."
He opened the door and stepped out, the door closing gently behind him.
I felt as if all my strength had been drained away; my legs went weak, and I sat down on the sofa.
Lu Nancheng, I'm sorry.
Right now, I just want to work hard and live well.
But I... really don't dare to start a new relationship.
I'm too afraid of repeating the past.
I'm scared that the other person's eyes will once again shift from passionate to indifferent, then to disgust.
I really... can't take that gamble again.
If I had known from the beginning that Lu Nancheng liked me, I wouldn't have let him take me back to the hotel.
I could have taken a taxi or taken the subway myself.
After that night, we didn't see each other for a week.
Lu Nancheng also didn't come back to the bar.
Late at night, Lu Nancheng drove to the hotel where I was staying.
He didn't go inside but leaned against his car and lit a cigarette.
I looked up at the windows of the hotel.
In fact, he didn't know which room was mine.
After watching for a while, he gave up.
I am now in Licheng, in the same city as him.
As long as he walks into the hotel, he could see me soon.
Today he figured it out.
From Lin Yu's perspective.
How much passion and expectation she once invested in Jiang Shiyan, and how deeply she was hurt in the end.
It is understandable that she doesn't want to fall into love again.
And it seems that all I can do for her is not to pressure her.
If she walked into the hotel, she might still agree to be with him.
But she was unwilling, and he would respect her choice.
He didn't care about having a title or who took the initiative.
As long as Lin Yu was by his side, he was satisfied.
A year and a half ago, when he learned that Lin Yu and Jiang Shiyan had started living together...
He tried to let her go, to go on blind dates, to meet new people.
In the end, he gave up.
If this time Lin Yu hadn't broken up and hadn't come to Licheng;
If that night, Lin Yu hadn't asked him to come up...
Perhaps he would have spent the rest of his life alone.
But she didn't.
She came; she gave him this opportunity.
If he missed it again, then he would never have the right to happiness in this lifetime.
He wouldn't force her, but he also wouldn't give her up again.
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