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墨書 Inktalez
As soon as I stepped out of the school gate, I saw Shen Yulin standing by the roadside, kicking at the stones while looking towards the gate. When he noticed me walking out, he stopped and walked over to me. He took my hand and led me to a small path beside the school.
"Xingxing, did my mom contact you?"
"Yeah." Shen Yulin's expression became somewhat complicated when he realized I had met his mother.
"What was that about a check?"
"She told me to leave you and offered me a check. I didn’t agree or take it; I just turned around and walked away."
"Really?" He looked at me, his eyes revealing a hint of hesitation and worry, as if he were contemplating what to do next.
"Really." I could feel his unease, and a wave of confusion and anxiety surged within me. Perhaps I should have told him about my meeting with his mother earlier; then he wouldn’t be feeling this doubt and insecurity now.
"Why didn’t you tell me sooner?"
"I was afraid it would affect your relationship with your mother."
"Were you worried about my relationship with my mom, or did you really consider taking the check?" I hadn’t expected Shen Yulin to doubt me like this, and it pained me deeply.
I never wanted to leave him, but his worries and insecurities made me feel powerless, as if no matter how much I explained, he would never fully believe me.
"You actually doubt me?" I thought we had a mutual understanding and trust that could overcome any difficulties. But it was just what I thought...
Shen Yulin sensed something was wrong and quickly said, "No, Xingxing, you misunderstood. I'm not intentionally doubting you. I'm just afraid you'll leave."
"I already said I wouldn't go; my home is here." I replied impatiently, pushing him away and turning to leave. This time, I didn’t look back at his expression; it was the first crack in our relationship.
Once someone chooses to walk away, they are destined to fly alone.
Back home, I lay on my bed and cried uncontrollably. My feelings of grievance and unwillingness surged forth like rising tides, engulfing me. I cried so hard that I could barely breathe, tears streaming down continuously.
It turned out that I had always cared about Shen Yulin's feelings towards me; I thought he understood me and that I had given him enough sense of security. But reality had harshly pushed me into the deep sea.
No one could understand how I felt right now; in this situation, our mutual trust was challenged. I hoped he could understand my feelings and approach this issue more honestly. Unfortunately, all I received was his doubt.
Around nine o'clock in the evening, my aunt came home after attending a parent-teacher meeting. Seeing my red eyes from crying, she guessed something had happened and hugged me tightly: "Silly child, you're feeling very sad, aren't you?"
Hearing this made me unable to hold back my tears again.
"His mom is not easy to deal with; I'm really afraid you'll get hurt," my aunt said as I sobbed and wiped my tears. "Auntie, he doubts me."
"Doubts you?"
"Yeah, he doubts that I took his mom's check and that I'm going to leave him, but I'm not like that. Auntie, please believe me," I cried out in grievance.
My aunt looked at me with deep concern, holding my hands even tighter, her heart filled with anger towards Shen Yulin, that little brat.
"Alright, alright, stop crying," she kept comforting me.
"Aunt, I just want to be alone for a while."
"You... fine," she sighed, packed up her things, and went home.
Another sleepless night passed.
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