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Rebirth: The Choice of Independence
墨書 Inktalez
A violent impact sent me flying, and the sensation of being airborne felt as if my soul would leave my body at any moment. The pain seemed distant, a flash of white light passed before my eyes, and the world became silent. An unprecedented calm enveloped me, and I thought that perhaps my life was about to end. I felt unwilling, even without the chance to say goodbye...
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When I opened my eyes again, I saw a white ceiling above me and smelled the sharp scent of disinfectant. I stared at the ceiling, feeling a sense of confusion about what day it was. Then, I heard a low sobbing sound beside me.
“Mom, please stop crying. Sister will be fine; the doctor said it’s just low blood sugar,” my younger sister Shen Xi said, sitting nearby with her head down, quickly scrolling through her phone as if replying to messages.
The medical poster on the wall indicated that it was 2012. I focused on the words on the poster for a long time; my eyes felt sore, but eventually, my vision cleared somewhat.
“Xiao Xi, you’re awake,” my mother said as she noticed me stirring. She quickly wiped away her tears and came over. “Do you feel unwell anywhere? Let me call the doctor for you.”
I weakly shook my head and realized how dry my throat was when I tried to speak. “What... what happened to me?”
“Low blood sugar,” my mother said as she helped me sit up. “Your sister said you didn’t eat breakfast before going to school this morning; you must have accidentally starved yourself.”
I took the cup of water my mother handed me; the warm water soothed my throat significantly. Looking at the white hairs on my mother’s head, memories long buried began to surface in my mind like a rapid slideshow.
In my senior year of high school, I fainted due to extreme fatigue and hunger and was taken to the hospital. At that time, my parents were busy handling overseas paperwork for my sister and brother and couldn’t even come to see me in the hospital. Only Shen Xi came to visit on their behalf.
She sat by my bedside with the latest iPhone in hand, playing a game while asking me, “Sister, when are you getting out of the hospital? I need someone to help carry my luggage when I go abroad.”
I had just finished an examination when the doctor informed me that I had low blood sugar and needed a family member to sign a critical illness notice.
My younger sister, at the time when I needed family the most, only thought about having me help her move her luggage. I secretly glanced at the date on the wall; there were still two months until the college entrance examination. Fate was kind and gave me a second chance. My heart was filled with mixed emotions, both fearful of the future and unwilling to accept everything I had endured in the past.
In my previous life, I had worked tirelessly and ranked first in the school, believing I could attend my dream university. However, when it came time to fill out my college application, I discovered that my mother and sister had secretly filled in my choices in the study. They sent me to the nearest normal university.
Meanwhile, my sister, Shen Xi, who had average grades, was sent abroad for her studies through my mother's connections. My brother, Shen Mingxu, was enrolled in an elite private school. This was all because my father had met a high school teacher at a drinking party, who promised to give my mother a kickback of thirty thousand yuan each year if she would refer students to their school.
At that moment, I realized that I was not their only child. I was merely a tool that could be sacrificed and exploited at will. My mother believed that girls did not need to attend such prestigious universities since they would eventually get married anyway. My father thought that as the eldest child in the family, I should bear the responsibility of taking care of my younger siblings.
I watched helplessly as they destroyed my life, unable to do anything about it. This time, I would no longer choose to silently endure.
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