" Losing a child is an accident, but you can't just give up!" The mother's voice was tinged with a hint of choking emotion. The father gently held her back and softly reassured me, "Child, you are still young, and the road ahead is long. We are here for you. Go back and rest; come again tomorrow."
I didn't respond, merely casting a silent glance at my unconscious husband before turning to leave the hospital room. In that moment, I knew our lives would never return to what they once were. When that slap fell, I felt not only the burning on my cheek but also a deep pain in my heart.
Back home, I trembled as I picked up the children's clothes, each piece once filled with my hopes for the future. "How... how could this happen..." I choked on my words, unable to finish that sentence. Reality hit me like a slap in the face, shattering my dreams.
I found a match and struck it; at that moment, the flame danced as if it were celebrating. I threw it onto the clothes and watched as the flames slowly consumed the fabric. "This is an end, but also a beginning," I whispered through the smoke, feeling both pain and relief in my heart.
The firelight illuminated my cheeks, and in it, I saw the shadow of my child, as if he were dancing and encouraging me. "Mommy, you need to be strong and brave." It felt as though I could hear his voice.
As the flames gradually extinguished, all that remained were ashes and a lingering warmth. I stood there, a mix of emotions swirling within me, quietly telling myself, "Maybe I really can... start over."
The next day, sunlight streamed through the gaps in the curtains into the hospital room. My husband had woken early; he looked at me sitting by his bedside and seemed ready for a fresh start. "You look much better," he said with a hint of relief in his voice. "Have you come to terms with it?"
I nodded, trying to make my voice sound firm. "Let's start over."
He gently took my hand, his eyes filled with tenderness. "Child, there will be more."
I forced a smile, knowing they were keeping something from me; I would never be able to have children in my lifetime. How could a woman who had her fallopian tubes removed ever conceive again?
"Have some porridge," I said, taking out some millet porridge and feeding it to him spoonful by spoonful, trying to mask my disappointment.
In the following days, my husband recovered well, but his parents never came to visit again. Only colleagues from work and my mother occasionally came to the hospital. I felt a bit of comfort, but the unease in my heart was slowly accumulating.
After being discharged, I returned to work, and my husband gained his father's favor, becoming busy with major projects at the company. Watching his back, I felt a sense of pride mixed with worry.
"Why have you been so busy lately?" I tried to hide my dissatisfaction.
"There’s a lot going on at the company; I need to work harder," he replied, fatigue evident in his voice.
After the incident with the child, I chose to be a housewife. Our life seemed to return to that of newlyweds, filled with happiness every day. However, as time passed, my husband's work became increasingly demanding, and he spent less and less time at home.
"Why are you coming back so late again?" I looked at him, reeking of alcohol, and my dissatisfaction grew stronger.
"It's just business; you know how it is," he said impatiently.
I tried to comfort myself that he was busy with work and that I should be more understanding. But over time, I found it harder to endure the loneliness and feeling of being overlooked.
"Can you spend more time with me?" My voice carried a hint of pleading.
"Aren't I busy right now?" His tone grew colder.
My heart is filled with unease, and I know that the distance between us is slowly widening.
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