I had a feeling that Shao Ciyan was about to give up. The next morning, I went to the library early. When I returned to the dormitory, my previous roommate had taken back the seat next to me. The time Shao Ciyan spent here was so brief that it left me a bit dazed, as if he had never been here at all.
Because of Shao Ciyan, Jian Qingtang came to find me once. I had just come out of the library in the evening when she stopped me. The library was about to close, and there were only a few people left on the road. "Jian Xi, you managed to bend Shao Ciyan; you must be feeling quite proud, huh?"
"I just got dumped by him. Are you finally here to enjoy my misfortune?"
"People like you should just go die!" I didn't want to waste time arguing with her. But when she saw I was going to ignore her and leave, she completely exploded. Grabbing my sleeve, she raised her hand as if to slap me.
I quickly intercepted her and pushed her against the wall without using much force.
"Ah—Jian Xi, you dare to retaliate?" Jian Qingtang's back hit the wall hard. I scoffed lightly and walked over to her at a leisurely pace. "Jian Qingtang, your mother really spoiled you into being brainless."
"What do you want?" She looked at me warily. I raised my hand and casually brushed aside her loose hair, saying nonchalantly, "It's late, and this just happens to be a blind spot for surveillance. What do you think I could easily do to you?" As I spoke, my fingertips slid down to her shoulder, gently tracing circles.
"Don't you like men...?"
The previously arrogant Jian Qingtang now struggled to maintain her composure, her body frozen in place.
I smiled gently, my fingers tracing along her neck.
"I'm gay, but that doesn't stop me from doing anything to you, does it?"
Jian Qingtang struggled in vain, tears welling up in her eyes.
"I'm sorry, Xi Xi, please don't treat me this way. We're siblings by blood..."
I tightened my grip slightly on her neck.
"Don't come looking for trouble again, understand, sister?"
"Otherwise, don't give yourself a chance to be alone."
Her fear was evident, and she nodded hurriedly.
I took a step back and released my hold.
I watched indifferently as Jian Qingtang fled in distress.
Just as I was about to leave as well, someone walked out from nearby.
"So you have this side to you too."
Lu Qingye waved his phone in his hand.
"I couldn't reach you, so I thought I'd come to the library to pick you up this late. I was worried about your safety."
My heart, which had been as still as dead water, felt a warm current flow through it at that moment.
This unexpected flutter had happened once before, all because of Lu Qingye.
After thanking him, I corrected him.
"I’m a grown man; do I really need you to pick me up?"
He chuckled softly and replied, "Now it’s clear that you can take care of yourself."
Lu Qingye's gaze shifted down to my neck, and his voice softened.
"Did you always like to choke people?"
"Then do you like being choked?"
Crazy.
The faint heartbeat abruptly stopped.
I ignored him and walked away.
Lu Qingye followed me leisurely, adding playfully,
"Fine, if you don't like being choked, then you don't like it."
"You can choke me if you want."
The boy behind seemed even more reckless than Shao Ciyan.
But his unreliable appearance never matched his actual inner self.
For example, when I went to take a shower, he would deliberately avoid it.
He never mentioned taking advantage of the same gender to suggest going to the bathhouse at the same time.
Yet many times after I came out, he just happened to be standing at the bathhouse door.
"What are you doing standing here? Didn't you already wash up?"
Lu Qingye leaned against the wall playing on his phone, only putting it away when he saw me come out.
He raised his hand to wipe away the droplets of water that had fallen on my cheek from my hair.
"Although you said this floor is full of straight guys,"
"just in case there are any perverts peeping, I feel better waiting at the door for you."
Thinking of this, I slowed my pace.
I waited for him to catch up and then walked side by side with him.
That night, the soft misty light of the moon made everything around us appear hazy and distorted.
It felt as if there were only me and the boy beside me in the world.
For the first time, I wanted to let go of my hesitations and try again.
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