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墨書 Inktalez
The problem started when he was a child, and back then, Mrs. Jiang took him to see many doctors, and he almost died. I know about this because Mrs. Jiang told me. The fortune teller said that Zhou Heng and her have a shallow bond, and she can't keep him. So, in the end, Mrs. Jiang begged the master of Qingyun Temple to take in Zhou Heng, hoping to save his life. When people are helpless, they are willing to believe anything.
Fortunately, Zhou Heng did survive and has been living at Qingyun Temple all these years. However, the fortune teller's other words have been a constant worry for Mrs. Jiang, that even if he could escape danger in his childhood, he might not live past twenty-eight. Zhou Heng had not relapsed in the temple for many years, but unexpectedly started having nosebleeds again shortly after returning home.
Sometimes, you just can't stop it.
Mrs. Jiang is almost going crazy. She has found many famous doctors and the most expensive hospitals, but they still can't figure out the specific reason. Everyone is afraid that the words of the fortune teller from years ago might come true.
Lixiang told me those things on his behalf.
Lixiang may not like me, but she definitely likes Zhou Heng. Seeing him like that, I feel very sad. I can't imagine what kind of emotional changes Zhou Heng has gone through these days. I know he's afraid of ruining my life, but has he ever thought about how regretful it would be for me to miss out on his life? "Can I just watch him from afar, is that okay?"
I was almost choked up, my tear-filled eyes unable to see Master Xiao Chen's expression clearly, but his voice had been suppressed to the extreme: " Daoist Ling, why should like this? Senior Brother Zhou said, your fate has come to an end, you should let go." "I won't let go, I won't let go." The suppressed emotions collapsed, and I shouted loudly, "Why do you have to be so cruel to me?"
I cried my heart out, clutching Master Xiao Chen's arm, unable to speak through my sobs. In this solemn place, I lost my composure, disregarding how others might see me and the impending punishment from the gods. All I wanted was to see Zhou Heng and tell him that even if our time together is short, I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
Master Xiao Chen let me pull him, his eyes became moist, just looking at me, so helplessly looking at me.
I cried until I almost fainted, pushed Master Xiao Chen away, and rushed into the nearby room, pushing the doors one by one, but unfortunately I didn't see that familiar figure.
He should have known I came, deliberately avoiding me.
I completely collapsed, my body went limp and swayed unsteadily. I must look like a lunatic in this state, demanding to see Zhou Heng. I don't even recognize myself like this.
Master Xiao Chen finally softened his heart and came over to gently help me up, letting out a long sigh. " Daoist Ling, come with me. Senior Brother Zhou is giving a lecture at Qingyin Pavilion."
He's willing to take me to see Zhou Heng. I stood up and eagerly followed behind Master Xiao Chen.
Zhou Heng, why are you avoiding me?
I'm about to see Zhou Heng, my heart is pounding. What will his reaction be when he sees me? Will he be as calm and composed as last time?
In this short distance, my heart is in turmoil, thinking of countless possibilities.
The ethereal Sanskrit chanting drifted down from the sky, rising high above the eaves and into the clouds. The clear sound of bells accompanied the chanting, making my heart even more unsettled. With each step I took on the stairs, I felt an overwhelming heaviness.
Zhou Heng is inside, I'm about to see him soon. I'm both scared and nervous, the bell rings, each strike hitting my heart.
I finally step onto the last step, inside and outside the hall, not just separated by a door, but also many believers.
They kneel and practice, chanting with Zhou Heng: "When attached to all things, one is then seized by greed; when seized by greed, one is then troubled; troubled and deluded, one suffers in body and mind..."
I quietly entered and sat in the corner, just like one of the worshippers. Through the crowd, I saw Zhou Heng sitting to the left of his master. That familiar face, so close to me, yet it felt like a world away. The fragrance of incense and the chanting of Sanskrit filled the entire hall. He, sitting high above, seemed like a saint who had achieved enlightenment, beyond reach.
His expression remained calm, though his cheeks had become more gaunt. The air of transcendence between his brows seemed to have freed him from worldly troubles, so pure and clear.
"....The way of truth is that the enlightened find it within themselves. Those who attain enlightenment are always Jingwan and tranquil."
I couldn't understand the meaning of his words, but I could sense their state of mind.
Tears blurred my vision, I lowered my head and let them fall onto the back of my hand. He sat calmly above me, and I didn't dare to make a sound even as I cried, just quietly, quietly gazing at him. Zhou Heng, let me look at you a little longer, okay?
We can chat like we used to, even if it's on a mountain path, quiet and silent.
Sanskrit chanting Bi, this ceremony is also over.
I watched Zhou Heng leave, covering his mouth and nose lightly. I worriedly stood up, wanting to catch up with him. But I was afraid, his appearance just now seemed like he had a nosebleed again.
He hurried away, and if I really caught up with him, it would definitely not end well.
Watching him disappear from my sight like that, I didn't have the courage to call out his name.
I left the grand hall alone, and the sunlight outside was dazzling. I felt dizzy for a moment, and before I could raise my hand to shield my eyes from the light that made tears stream down, my swaying body finally collapsed.
When I woke up, I realized that I had just fainted. Lixiang was sitting in front of me, crying uncontrollably.
"Ling Xiaomeng, you don't understand what I mean. Don't come looking for Master Zhou."
She cried, crying even harder than me.
She scolded me, "Are you crazy? Do you want to torture him to death, or do you want to torture yourself to death?"
I suddenly laughed and looked at Lixiang crying, but then I held back my tears. "Has he been here?" I asked, because I smelled the lingering scent of sandalwood, which is unique to Zhou Heng.
Lixiang glared at me, held back her tears, and replied impatiently, "He won't see you. Just eat and go back. Don't mess around like this next time. If you want Master Zhou to live longer, don't come to Qingyun Temple."
I was suddenly speechless. He still refused to see me, even though he knew I had fainted at Qingyin Pavilion. In fact, he did see me, but he pretended not to. Master Xiao Chen stood by without saying a word, looking at me with a pained, helpless, regretful, and sympathetic expression. "The food is here. Eat if you want."
Lixiang glared at me in frustration. Her attitude was indeed terrible, but I felt that she was a genuine person with a not-so-bad heart.
"Thank you," I said.
Upon hearing my thanks, Lixiang moved her lips a few times, clearly angered. She stood up and stormed out of the room.
This is a side room, with only a few pieces of furniture placed simply. I see a row of scriptures standing there.
I think this is probably Master Xiao Chen's living quarters.
After Lixiang left, Master Xiao Chen sighed a few times and asked me, "Are you really that persistent?"
I pushed around the food in my bowl, silent, as if I had accepted it.
"I know he's still in the temple, not far away. Master Xiao Chen, have you ever thought, if I never see him again, I'll never have the chance in the future? Just like you, if you were never to see Lixiang again, would you be willing to?"
Master Xiao Chen was first taken aback, then he sighed. " Daoist Ling, this is not comparable. My sister Lixiang and I share a deep bond, even if I decide to devote my life to cultivation, that won't change. But for you and Senior Brother Zhou, at this point, it's something that can't be forced."
I am surprised by his relationship with Lixiang, but also very angry. Could it be that my relationship with Zhou Heng has come to an end? I will not let go, never. Zhou Heng's heart is so cruel, I begged so hard but still couldn't see him.
I couldn't swallow the few bites of food I had originally eaten.
I struggled to get up with my weak body, not daring to hope that Master Xiao Chen could help me.
"Who are you?"
"He doesn't want to see me, then I'll leave, but please tell him that I'm waiting for him outside the mountain gate. If he doesn't show up, I will never leave." My attitude is very firm, but I don't want to trouble Master Xiao Chen anymore.
This is ultimately a quiet place, and I dare not disturb the Master s' meditation.
After leaving Qingyun Temple, I was already in a daze, and I didn't even know if I was walking down the mountain.
I just kept sitting there, sitting there.
Zhou Heng He wouldn't be so heartless, this is my last chance.
Even if I have to sit until dawn, I will persist.
At dusk, the pilgrims descended the mountain one by one and left. Every time they left, I felt more and more despondent. Zhou Heng, is he really not coming? As night fell, I was the only one left outside the mountain gate, and the cable car had closed. At this time, no one else would be coming down the mountain.
I leaned against the stone railing, disappointed countless times.
In the end, I was the only one standing alone outside the mountain gate.
I looked up at the towering Lingya Mountain. Inside the gate, Zhou Heng had already severed all worldly ties, while outside the gate, I still clung to that shallow affection.
I can't step in again, and he won't step out either.
Suddenly, tears poured down, my swollen eyes now hurt even more. But what does that matter, compared to the pain in my heart.
I hugged myself and cried, the suppressed emotions bursting out in this moment.
He really doesn't mind making me sad and crying alone. He really doesn't mind leaving me waiting outside the gate all alone. He really doesn't mind never seeing me again from now on.
I don't know how long I've been crying, I just feel like my head is exploding, it's hard to breathe, my nose is uncomfortable, everything is uncomfortable.
I almost cried until I couldn't breathe, but I couldn't stop my tears from falling.
How many tears are contained in the end, why are there still tears flowing out? The bone-chilling cold of Lingya Mountain in winter, so cold that my hands and feet are icy, I can't tell if it's the coldness of my heart or the erosion of the wind, my whole body is trembling. Zhou Heng, you are too heartless.
The person, who is as gentle as jade, has made such a strong determination at this moment. How powerful his persistence must be!
But I can't bring myself to hate him. I just want to see him, I just miss him.
Suddenly, there was a warmth on my body, and a dark blue down jacket appeared.
I raised my teary and misty eyes and saw Zhou Heng standing in front of me. His face was somewhat pale, and his clear and thin face still had a faint expression. He reached out to help me up, his suppressed voice low and gentle: "What should I do with you?"
"Zhou Heng."
I didn't care about anything and threw myself into his arms, holding him tightly, afraid that he would disappear the next second.
He didn't refuse, just gently patting my back.
"Why do you treat me like this? You don't see me, you don't answer the phone, you don't reply to WeChat. I, I came to the observation deck to find you, you..."
Ah-choo! I sneezed several times in a row.
Zhou Heng wrapped me in a large down jacket and tucked my hands under his arm.
He said with a hint of reproach, "I already feel guilty enough, do you want to make me restless even in death?"
"You won't die. Zhou Heng, I will be with you."
My nose was blocked and I kept sobbing. Zhou Heng reached out to wipe my face. His smile was gentle, just like when we first met at the coffee shop, illuminating my life.
"Xiao Meng, you shouldn't have to live like this, and I..."
I anxiously interrupted him: "I don't care, I'll be with you. If you live for one day, I'll accompany you. If you live for a month, I'll still accompany you."
Zhou Heng's eyes were red, just looking at me, looking at me so sadly.
Drip, a hot drop fell on the back of my hand, it was blood, dripping from Zhou Heng's nostrils.
He reached out to wipe the bloodstains from his nose, as if he had already become accustomed to such days.
My heart ached as I gently touched his trembling face, using a tissue to wipe the bloodstains from his nose.
Is it really this serious? Zhou Heng, do you not have much time left?
"Don't cry, silly."
My trembling voice asked, "Can it not be cured?"
But he remained calm, a gentle smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "I was treated when I was young, saw many doctors, and haven't had an episode for many years. It probably can't be cured now..."
I burst into tears instantly, hugging him and completely losing control, crying in pain.
His usual calmness softened slightly as he said, "Alright, stop crying. Your eyes are swollen like walnuts."
"Because of this, you let Lixiang say those things to anger me. Are you planning to never see me again?"
"I want to see you, but I..."
He didn't continue, but I held his hand tightly. "Zhou Heng, you promised to take good care of me and not let me suffer. You have to keep your word."
He gave a bitter smile and wrapped my down jacket tightly around me, afraid that I would get cold.
"I told you to go with the flow, but I went against my own will. Seeing you cry so sadly, I felt more uncomfortable than being sick myself. I pride myself on seeing through everything in the world, being as calm as still water, and being able to face life and death calmly."
"You also said that being happy is just one day, and being unhappy is also just one day. Why do we have to suffer through each day like this?"
Zhou Heng's expression was very complex, as if he was pondering over what I said.
"You said before that you wanted to build Good Affinity, right? If you disappoint me in this lifetime, it will be a karmic debt, and I will hate you until the next lifetime, never forgiving you."
Zhou Heng was at a loss for words after my words, he saw stars in my eyes, twinkling.
"If you continue to be so heartless to me, I really won't forgive you. I'll just marry any man to make you feel guilty forever. I won't see you again, never."
It seemed like I had hit a nerve. Zhou Heng's expression gradually changed, looking somewhat unpleasant. He just stared at me without saying anything.
"What do you want me to do to forgive you?"
"Marry me."
I waited quietly for his answer, and there was a hint of surprise in his calm eyes. After a long time, I only heard his low, gentle voice say, "Okay." Looking at his eyes, which were already glistening with tears, I cried, and then laughed, and cried again.
I know he won't push me away again, even if our time together is short. I just hope that every day in the future, I can wake up and see his face. I miss his smile, I miss his gentle eyes, I miss his tender voice when he speaks. I hold him tightly, this time, I will never let go.
After that day, my relationship with Zhou Heng returned to its original state. He continued to do what he should in the temple, while I decided to quit my job and move to a small town at the foot of Lingya Mountain. When Mrs. Jiang heard about my plan, she immediately bought a two-bedroom apartment there, saying it was for our future marriage.
I didn't dare to tell my parents about Zhou Heng, just about our plan to get married, and they were very happy to hear it. Both sets of parents are busy preparing for our wedding.
The two-bedroom apartment is nicely decorated and is enough for the two of us to live in.
We got our marriage certificate, but we didn't plan to have a wedding banquet. Instead, we just stay in our little home, doing household chores together, taking care of the flowers, and playing with the cat. He cooks, and I help out. He washes the dishes, and I keep him company.
That's it, simple and happy days.
After I resigned, I can see Zhou Heng at home every day, and he will come back to see me when he is free.
Because I had some client resources before, I also take private orders at home, so my life is quite regular.
No one can say for sure what will happen in the future.
Just like back then, he recovered in a daze.
I no longer think about how long Zhou Heng can live, I just think about how I can accompany him for one more day.
There are too many mysterious things in this world that science cannot explain. I believe that as long as we have truly put in effort, the fate arranged by heaven is not in vain. Do you believe in miracles? Anyway, I do.
I turned around and looked at Zhou Heng, who was reading in the living room. The sunlight shone on him, and his handsome face appeared gentle. His silhouette facing me was perfectly tranquil.
How did I fall in love with this man? When I first met Ye Ling, I was greatly attracted by his peaceful demeanor.
He looked up, his eyes like water, gazing into mine with the tenderness I will yearn for in this lifetime.
"Xiao Meng." He softly called my name.
I went over and leaned on his shoulder, listening to him recite the scripture: "Man follows the earth, the earth follows the heavens, the heavens follow the Tao, the Tao follows the natural way..."
"All things in the world are born from being, being is born from non-being..."
His voice is deep and soft, drifting into every corner of the living room and into the depths of my heart.
I rested my chin on my hand, time stood still, and we, today, are still together.
Author's note: The end, sprinkling flowers ❀ This is the first time I've written this kind of story. I hope everyone likes it. Thank you for your support. I'm a newbie, so please forgive any shortcomings! I should be writing a series next.
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