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墨書 Inktalez
Cui Hai fell silent.
But silence was an acknowledgment.
"Say something!"
"Okay." Cui Hai finally replied,
"At first, I did think that way, but I didn't get together with you because I saw you as Sun Qing, Fangfang. I am serious about you."
"Then why did you break up with me?"
"Because..." Cui Hai hesitated.
"Because of what?"
"I feel like you see me as Qingqing." Cui Hai said softly,
"Fangfang, we've been together for over two years,
but you've never called me by my name.
You always call me 'Ah Hai,' which is what Sun Qing calls me."
"..." I was stunned.
"Fangfang, I love you," Cui Hai said in a low voice, "but I don't want to be someone else's shadow."
I stared blankly at Cui Hai, unable to speak.
So this was the truth.
I had been hurting him all along.
"Fangfang, can we... go back?" Cui Hai looked at me, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.
I shook my head.
"Why?"
"Because I don't love you anymore," I said softly.
Cui Hai's face turned pale.
"Cui Hai, we lack communication between us."
I looked at him, "Every time something happens, you don't tell me,
over time, we have developed many misunderstandings. Cui Hai, this kind of relationship is too exhausting."
"You could communicate with me."
"Why don't you take the initiative to talk to me?" I countered,
"If you love me, you should take the initiative to communicate with me, right?"
Cui Hai fell silent.
"Cui Hai, our relationship is already dead." I sighed, "You should go."
Cui Hai looked at me with a sad expression in his eyes.
In the evening, Ma Yuewen came to find me. His face was dark as he pushed me against the wall and gritted his teeth, saying, "Fangfang, why didn’t you explain clearly about such a big matter as breaking up? Also, where have you been these past few days? You didn’t answer my calls or reply to my messages. Were you doing this on purpose?"
I calmly pushed him away. "Ma Yuewen, I no longer want to play along with you. Please leave."
"What do you mean?" Ma Yuewen's eyes widened in panic. "What are you talking about, playing along? Fangfang, clarify your words!"
"You know in your heart," I replied flatly. "Ma Yuewen, just go. Don’t come back again."
"Why?" Ma Yuewen became anxious. "Fangfang, I love you! You can't just kick me out. I love you!"
"The person you love is not me," I said coldly. "Just go. Don’t come back again."
"Fangfang..."
"Get out!" I pointed at him and shouted, "Get out!"
Ma Yuewen looked at me like a statue. I opened the door and shouted again, "Get out!"
He left. He finally left. The whole world fell silent. I could finally have some peace. I closed my eyes and let out a long breath.
At that moment, I suddenly remembered something. The package Cui Hai had sent me—I hadn’t opened it yet. I opened the package and found a stack of letters inside. When I took them out and looked at them, I was instantly stunned.
These letters... These letters were the ones I tore up when I broke up with Cui Hai. I ripped them apart and threw them into the air. The paper pieces floated down like snowflakes.
I hated Cui Hai so much that I tore these letters apart.
But now, these letters have been pieced together and bound in a booklet.
There is another letter.
It is from Cui Hai to me.
I opened the envelope and took out the letter.
"Fangfang, I hope this letter finds you well."
"It's like seeing you through the words."
"Today, I took the letters out again, pieced them together, and found that they are almost complete."
"Fangfang, I know you no longer love me, but I still want to write to you, one letter a day, just like before."
"Today is the first letter; if you don't want to read it, just tear it up."
"If you don't want me to contact you, then block my WeChat and phone number."
"If you don't want me to appear in your world, then just move away."
"In any case, I don't want to give up on you."
"Fangfang, I wish you all the best."
"Cui Hai."
"November 17, 2022."
...
I held this letter in my hand, trembling.
What an idiot Cui Hai is.
When did he piece together the letters I wrote to him?
Isn't he a doctor? Isn't he very busy? Where did he find the time to piece these letters together?
Why didn't he communicate with me sooner? Why?
I hugged these letters, crouched down, and cried uncontrollably.
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