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墨書 Inktalez
When we arrived at the Girls' Dormitory Building, there were already many people gathered around. The school doctor said that although the fourth floor wasn't too high and there was grass below to cushion the fall, she seemed to have hit her head, and the situation didn't look optimistic. Upon hearing this, Qin Senior Sister immediately burst into tears. Her sister had jumped from the building and ended up in a vegetative state, and now her best friend was in a similar situation. She desperately pounded my shoulder, crying and blaming me, "It's all your fault! Why did you sell her the Amulet!"
I felt a bit at a loss, my mind clouded. The Amulets sold at school, aside from the Four-Faced Buddha that Qin Senior Sister was currently carrying, had all caused problems. Even though not many people knew that their issues were related to me, I couldn't shake off the guilt. Looking at the blood streaming from Zheng Xuejie's head, I clenched my fists and made a decision: from now on, I would never sell any Yin talismans or ghost charms to any alumni.
This decision gradually extended to all acquaintances over the next few years. As long as I knew someone and our relationship wasn't too bad, no matter what they said, they wouldn't be able to buy Yin talismans from me. People can find ways to make money; occasionally tasting the flavor of being a profiteer is fine, but one must never exploit acquaintances—otherwise, it shows a lack of principles. Second Uncle always thought this was a foolish decision. Whose money isn't earned? If they don't buy from you, they'll buy from someone else. Rather than let outsiders profit, it's better to keep it in one's own pocket.
I couldn't refute Second Uncle's words but still insisted on doing things my way.
Just like Leslie Cheung sang in one of his songs, I am who I am—a firework of different colors!
Zheng Xuejie was sent to the hospital and diagnosed with a severe concussion. According to the doctor, there was a very high possibility of her being in a vegetative state. Qin Senior Sister cried heavily and blamed me more and more. However, everyone was surprised when Zheng Xuejie woke up the next day; after the doctor examined her, he exclaimed in disbelief. How could she wake up so quickly despite such severe brain trauma?
Soon summer vacation arrived. Before the break, Zheng Xuejie was discharged from the hospital. This was something worth celebrating, but no one felt happy about it; Qin Senior Sister and her group of friends now looked at me like I was a monster. I had originally hoped for a deeper relationship with this department beauty, but it seemed that was no longer possible.
At the beginning of summer vacation, Hu Xiaoyi and Liang Xi didn't mention anything about traveling together; they chose to return home to their respective families. Feeling disheartened, I declined Second Uncle's suggestion to vacation in Thailand and went back to my hometown.
My grandmother raised me since I was little; she might not know exactly how many strands of hair I have, but she could certainly tell if I was happy or not. So when she saw me, she smiled warmly and took my hand, asking if I had been wronged at school. Looking at her kind face made my heart ache. How could I say I wasn't wronged? I couldn't lie to my grandmother or myself; not only was I wronged, but I also felt stifled.
I had good intentions all along, yet everything turned out badly; no one appreciated it and instead painted me as the villain. I believed that I had never intended to harm anyone from the beginning—yet what was the outcome?
Although my grandmother didn't know exactly what I'd been through, she understood that people often feel down because they've been criticized. Words can be a form of emotional abuse that sometimes hurts more than physical pain. She held my hand and said, "Child, when your grandmother was your age, your father had just been born. Back then, people in the village said I was a widow who would never see her husband again. I argued with them; whoever said that would be met with hostility at their home. Over time, they stopped saying it openly but still gossiped behind my back. Later on, your grandmother found faith; God said that was original sin—an unchangeable transgression. We must strive for goodness and distance ourselves from sin. So your grandmother came to understand: no matter what others say, focus on doing your own thing; eventually, they will realize who is truly in the wrong."
"No one can truly understand their own future, just like a fortune teller who can see clearly for others but not for themselves. Only by standing on a high mountain can one see where the stream at the foot of the mountain runs dry. This is what many people refer to as objectivity. You too should try to view everything from an objective perspective. If you do, there’s nothing to feel wronged about; it’s just a trivial matter that doesn’t concern life and death."
I was somewhat surprised that my usually taciturn grandmother could express such profound wisdom. Although she mentioned that it is difficult to approach problems from an objective standpoint, I couldn’t deny that trying to do so as she suggested really improved my mood.
Whether it was Senior Sister Qin or Senior Guo, I hadn’t done anything wrong. They made their own mistakes, and I felt no guilt; so why should I feel remorse? Although people are not as kind-hearted as they used to be, and good intentions often go unappreciated, there’s no need to dwell on it. If we cannot be friends, then let it be a simple transaction.
I began to understand why Second Uncle was always so indifferent towards clients, rarely showing enthusiasm or warmth. Perhaps he had experienced a similar phase in his youth and realized that being a dealer meant you wouldn’t make too many friends. Most people would be polite when they benefited from you but would turn into enemies when things went poorly. Rather than investing energy and sincerity, it was better to think about how to get others to spend more money.
My parents were honest and straightforward people. Part of the money left by my grandfather was used by them to open a clothing store. After years of hard work, the business was doing quite well. Because they were so busy, they had little time for me; growing up, the people I spent the most time with were my grandmother and Second Uncle. Suddenly, I found myself missing Second Uncle and feeling quite guilty towards him.
No matter what happened, with just a phone call, Second Uncle would rush over even if he were on Mars. Yet I had never considered him, only focused on being the nice guy myself, which not only disrupted Second Uncle's principles but also caused me financial loss and physical exhaustion.
To lift my spirits, I decided to visit Hu Xiaoyi or Liang Xi for some fun. Having spent a year with them, I had never been to either of their homes. With plenty of time during summer vacation, it would be a good way to relax.
I called Liang Xi, but he said his family was busy with farm work and probably wouldn’t have time for me, so I had to give up on that plan. As for Hu Xiaoyi, he readily agreed. Besides teaching elementary school students piano during the summer vacation, he didn’t have much else going on. Hu Xiaoyi’s family lived in Heze, Shandong, known as the Peony Capital and a place famous for its calligraphy and painting. My favorite of the Four Great Classical Novels, the Gathering of Heroes from Water Margin, took place there.
When I arrived, Hu Xiaoyi came over with a big smile, accompanied by a young girl who looked about our age. I was taken aback for a moment before playfully punching him on the arm and saying, "No wonder so many Senior Sisters at school are interested in you; turns out you already have someone!"
Hu Xiaoyi shyly replied, "No, this is my piano teaching partner; we just happen to be going the same way."
I chuckled and shook hands with the girl after introducing ourselves. Her name was Qin Zhenzhen—a name that was particularly difficult to write; just looking at those densely packed strokes made my head spin. Qin Zhenzhen was an outgoing girl who mentioned that throughout her life she had always felt overwhelmed when it came to writing her name and had often wanted to change it to something simpler.
I suggested that if she wanted something simple, she could just go by Qin Yi.
Qin Yiba and Hu Xiaoyi repeated the names, and we all laughed heartily. Being young, after a round of laughter, we quickly became familiar with each other.
Hu Xiaoyi asked me what we should do next, whether to eat first or play. I said that since we were in her territory, I would defer to her decision. Qin Zhenzhen suggested that we eat first, then go watch Cockfighting, and later in the evening, see Shadow Play. We all agreed and decided to follow her suggestion.
Cockfighting is a common entertainment activity in Shandong, similar to Dog Fighting. A poet once wrote: "With blood split and cries lost, pecking fiercely in hunger; why rush in such urgency, as they twist and turn with skillful deceit."
At the Cockfighting venue, I saw that each rooster stood about half a meter tall. Their massive size was intimidating, and once they began to claw and bite each other, it wouldn't be considered over until one was bleeding on the ground. Hu Xiaoyi mentioned that this wasn't really anything extraordinary; after all, in modern times it has become much milder. In ancient times, they would even coat the roosters with lacquer for armor or attach metal blades as weapons, making the fights spectacular and fiercely contested.
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