Suicide Victim 22: Mental Block (8)
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墨書 Inktalez
Today is truly a good day. My mother generously gave me over two hundred, and Xiao Shan unexpectedly appeared in front of me at noon. 0
 
At that moment, I was lethargically eating swollen instant noodles when Xiao Shan lifted the crystal curtain and rushed in, panting as he leaned against the counter. Before I could express my surprise, he said, "Hurry... hurry back, your home is gone." 0
 
"Huh?" I was completely bewildered. What does it mean that my home is gone? 0
 
"Just hurry back, I have things to do, I'm leaving first." 0
 
"But..." I called out to his retreating figure, "I haven't finished work yet." 0
 
Xiao Shan's sudden appearance and disappearance made me feel uneasy. I found a regular customer who practically lived in the internet café and offered him five free hours to help keep an eye on things. I hurriedly left my noodles behind and rushed home. 0
 
I am not particularly gifted with language, and when I saw everything before me, I had no idea how to describe it. 0
 
It felt like a dream. 0
 
What was once a cramped, low-pressure, dirty slum had now turned into a flat expanse. Bricks were scattered everywhere, dust was flying around, and workers wearing hard hats stood alongside successful individuals dressed in suits. Several cranes moved slowly and clumsily through the rubble. Familiar old neighbors stood at the edges with their families, while I wandered aimlessly in search of my home, not knowing where to look. 0
 
I stood there for a long time until the swirling dust got into my eyes, causing a sharp pain. I lowered my head and rubbed my eyes vigorously; the dust mixed with my tears and streamed down my face. 0
 
I gathered myself and saw Aunt Liu, who runs a small shop. I stumbled over and timidly asked, "Aunt Liu, have you seen my mom?" 0
 
Aunt Liu didn't have time for me; she waved her hand irritably and said, "Haven't seen her, haven't seen her. You should look around some more." 0
 
I wandered around aimlessly, asking all the familiar faces I could find, but no one would give me an answer. I tried to enter the construction area but was rudely pushed out by someone. 0
 
But can someone tell me where my mother is? Where is my home? 0
 
When everyone had left and the successful individuals dressed in suits began distributing lunch boxes to the workers, I realized how hungry I was; my stomach twisted painfully. 0
 
I left the slum in despair and walked onto the road, staring at the bustling traffic without knowing where to go next. 0
 
"Do you want to go to school?" 0
 
Xu Wenmo appeared behind me like a ghost, silently floating up to me. 0
 
I turned around and looked at her delicate face, tiredly saying, "What are you doing here?" 0
 
She answered evasively, "There was a report on local news about this area being planned for demolition; you should pay more attention to the news." 0
 
I wasn't in the mood to listen to her "guidance," so I weakly shifted my gaze and walked forward aimlessly. 0
 
"Let me take you out for a meal," she said like a stray dog following me. 0
 
"I don't want to eat!" I stopped abruptly and snapped back angrily, "Aren't you supposed to be a good student? Why are you following me? I'm looking for my mom!" 0
 
 
"Do you want to go to school?" Her deep pupils captured my gaze as she stubbornly asked again. 0
 
You might not believe it, but there is a kind of magic in a person's eyes that can instantly calm one's emotions. I felt as if I were hypnotized, unable to get angry. The grievances in my heart found an outlet, and I couldn't help but squat down on the street, sobbing uncontrollably. "I do want to go to school! Where the hell can I go? My dad is in prison, my mom ran away. Who's going to support me? I'm just an orphan!" 0
 
Yes, the moment I saw the piles of rubble, I knew my mother had abandoned me and fled. She had so many lovers, and I was just a burden, a piece of trash that no one cared about! 0
 
"I just want to know if you want to," she said, completely oblivious to my distress. Despite my tears and despair, she stubbornly held onto her question. 0
 
"Of course! Who wouldn't want to? But who will support me? You?" 0
 
"Yes!" To my surprise, she nodded firmly. "If you want to go to school, I'll support you. To be precise, my dad will support you." 0
 
"Why?" I didn't understand. We weren't that familiar; we weren't even friends. Why would she help me like this? What did I have that she could use? 0
 
She turned her head to look at the road, and beneath her calm expression lay something I couldn't comprehend. "Don't ask why; just know that I'll make him help you." 0
 
Can you believe it? Just like that, I returned to school. My mother never showed up again, and I moved into Xu Wenmo's home—a luxurious duplex villa. 0
 
Since all my belongings were buried under the dust, when I followed Xu Wenmo into the villa, I had only old clothes and a little over two hundred yuan. The villa's decor was different from what I had imagined; most of my ideas came from television dramas depicting opulence and grandeur. However, Xu Wenmo's home was simple beyond belief—various appliances sat in the empty corners of the house, spotless and cold. The white walls were adorned with abstract paintings I couldn't understand, and there were flower pots filled with lush green plants that were evergreen but lacked vitality. 0
 
Our footsteps echoed together in the spacious living room. 0
 
"I've tidied up your room; it's on the second floor next to mine. I don't know what style you like, so I've decorated it according to my preferences. If you don't like it, feel free to change it anytime," Xu Wenmo said as she turned to me. 0
 
I gathered my scattered gaze and focused on her. She remained as indifferent as before entering the door; her attitude showed no difference. Yet this indifference made me feel as if she were floating high above in the clouds while I was just a ragged plant living in the mud. 0
 
I had originally thought we were equal. 0
 
I didn't want the huge disparity in my heart to show on my face, so I forced myself to act nonchalant and casually asked her, "Aren't your family at home?" 0
 
Her pupils darkened slightly. "My mom is a teacher; the school is too far from home for her to commute easily, so she lives in a dormitory at school and comes back occasionally. My dad is usually very busy with work and spends most of his time outside." 0
 
"So you're saying you live alone in such a big house most of the time?" 0
 
"Yes." 0
 
How enviable! I couldn't help but glance around the living room again. It was nice, but for some reason, there was a slight disappointment in my heart. So Mr. Xu wasn't home after all. 0
 
 
Then, Xu Wenmo took me to my room. The decor of the room was simple to the point of feeling empty. It had all the essentials: a desk and chair, a bed, a bookshelf, and a desk lamp, but it lacked any sense of warmth. But now that I was staying under someone else's roof, what could I complain about? "I really like it," I said with a smile to Xu Wenmo. "It's much bigger than my old room and looks much better. Thank you so much." 0
 
 
 
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