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墨書 Inktalez
At that moment, her heart seemed to drop to the bottom of an abyss, then was heavily pressed down by a stone, making it hard for her to breathe and speak.
She nearly lost her composure and fled from there, but how could she escape?
She was still captured by him, forcefully held.
He did not give her time to think in peace; he knew she was best at avoiding and burying her feelings.
If she were allowed to leave just like that, perhaps in a while, perhaps tomorrow, she would continue to smile lightly, as if nothing had happened.
But deep down, she cared.
“Shu Ran.”
She trembled as she interrupted him, “Qin Xian, don’t speak… let me say something first…”
There was a mist in her eyes, hazy and unclear, with droplets of water brewing within them, as if they were about to fall down in grievance at any moment.
She sniffed and tried hard to suppress the negative emotions that were about to spill out.
“I understand; I’ve understood from the very beginning.”
“We are two completely different people. Your world, your life, your personality, your values are worlds apart from mine.”
“You are the exalted Qin Shao, and what am I? I am just an ordinary Shu Ran.”
She lowered her head and murmured softly, as if wanting to share all her thoughts with him.
“I have thought many times about why Qin Xian—clearly such an outstanding Qin Xian—who can have anything he desires and is liked by so many… why he would only capture one Shu Ran.”
"A person who only avoids and dodges when faced with problems, who doesn't dare to confront them bravely—Shu Ran. A careless person who makes you sick and always brings you trouble—Shu Ran."
It was as if she felt regret and pity, murmuring to herself, "It's just not worth it."
As soon as her words fell, he pulled her into his embrace, holding her tightly as if he wanted to merge her into his very being.
She could only hear him speaking in her ear, his voice suppressed and cold, chilling enough to take her breath away. He articulated the meaning behind her lengthy statement in a declarative tone, word by word.
"By denying yourself like this, what do you want to say?"
Shu Ran did not deny it; she buried her head against him, her voice calm.
"Qin Xian, we are not worthy."
We are not worthy at all—our family backgrounds, our personalities.
Just as they said, Jiang Yihan is the one destined to be the Future Lady of the Qin Family. And she is merely an uninvited wild girl.
"Qin Xian, I am very clear about my personality—dull, introverted, and negative. Being with me would definitely be exhausting."
She spoke so openly, yet her words lowered herself to the ground, embracing a posture of inferiority.
At this point, how could someone as intelligent as he not understand the implications of her words?
"Shu Ran, I disagree. Don't even think about it." He held her tighter, his fingertips growing colder. His tone was calm without a hint of fluctuation, his expression extremely grim.
Her emotions suddenly became agitated as she grasped his sleeve. "Qin Xian... let me finish..."
"Our relationship began with your forceful intrusion."
"I was afraid, I resisted, I tried to evade. But it was useless."
"I know, without your permission, I can't escape."
She lifted her head, her eyes filled with a mist of sadness as she locked gazes with him. She wanted him to see how helpless, painful, and conflicted she had once been.
Indeed, just one glance, and Qin Xian was lost in thought.
The sorrow and grievance in her eyes seemed to overflow, dripping directly onto the back of his hand.
"At that time, I thought, if I can't escape, then I won't."
He didn't know that at that moment she said, "I'm not leaving anymore, Qin Xian, I'm not leaving anymore."
To say those words and make that decision took so much courage.
Back then, she was reluctant; accepting him was mostly an act of helplessness.
She couldn't understand Qin Xian; his thoughts were too complicated for her to decipher. She couldn't grasp what kind of feelings he had for her.
Though she said she wouldn't leave, she remained cold and defensive towards him.
It was simply because she still cared about what Zhou Jiajia had said—that nine out of ten wealthy young men had insincere hearts and that women were nothing more than clothing to them.
Shu Ran was afraid.
But she didn't know when it started; her heart began to change slowly.
Maybe it was the moment he held her in the hospital, maybe it was his serious demeanor, or perhaps it was his strong and domineering nature.
Perhaps it was from that moment on that her heart quietly tore open a crack, which would grow larger with time.
She could not understand her own heart, nor why she was changing.
But until today, when she saw Jiang Yihan holding him, she admitted that her heart was restless, and the flames of anger were burning within her.
She secretly thought to herself that it was over, this was too terrible, Shu Ran should not be like this.
Yet at the same time, she began to understand.
The crack in her heart had grown larger with the passage of time, eventually forming a door.
A door leading to the depths of her heart.
And on the path to this door stood a person.
Qin Xian.
She finally understood her feelings, completely and thoroughly.
So, she had to make a choice again.
“Qin Xian, I understand myself; I can't play this game.”
She closed her eyes, seeming weary and powerless to resist it all, and spoke softly.
He suddenly pushed her away, breaking free from his embrace, wanting her to steady herself, to look up at him, and to listen to what he had to say.
He grasped her delicate chin, gazing down at her with eyes deep and unfathomable, revealing no emotions.
He slowly spoke in a cold tone, “Shu Ran, I have never treated you as just a plaything.”
He watched her almost obsessively, wishing to have her by his side at all times, concerned about her joys and sorrows.
Everything he did was certainly not for the sake of a mere toy.
“The question of whether we are suitable or not is not for you to decide.”
His tone was dismissive, “Why should I care about such ridiculous notions as social status?”
“I don’t need that.”
“What I need is you, and only you from beginning to end.”
“Qin Xian…” She looked at him, her voice trembling as she whispered his name, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Shu Ran asked him what she meant to him.
What did she mean?
It was redemption, it was hope, it was obsession.
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