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墨書 Inktalez
Her requests were rarely refused by Qin Xian, especially for something so important.
In fact, it was his oversight.
So in the end, they didn't even take wedding photos; they only took a couple of pictures together to attach to their marriage certificate.
It was almost simple and quick, witnessed by a few people. In front of the marriage registrar at the civil affairs bureau, they pressed their fingerprints on the application for marriage and signed their names.
In that moment when they looked up at each other, it seemed like something had changed.
How wonderful.
It felt like she now had an additional identity. With the man in front of her, it seemed they had formed some incredible bond.
She was married now.
During the rush of planning and getting married, there was hardly any time to consider or reflect on what she truly felt inside.
But at this moment, it was as if she suddenly became aware, awakening from a hurried and confused state.
She was married?
Married.
It was a strange feeling, as if she could sense that from now on, her life would be inextricably linked with his.
He would become her closest person.
It would probably feel strange; it definitely would.
She had grown accustomed to a solitary life, and even when she fell in love, she still had her own personal space.
But after getting married, many things would change. She needed to care for more than just herself. She also had to spend time understanding him, accompanying him, and taking care of him.
Life would shift from being one person to two.
How wonderful.
Though there was a bit of fear about the future, there was also an inexplicable sense of anticipation.
A tangled heart, a tangled mind.
As the registrar announced, "All done," all her emotions instantly dissipated.
The staff member stood before them, beaming with a bright smile, handing over the Little Red Book.
Shu Ran blinked, her hand hanging by her side, frozen in confusion for a long time.
Until she saw reflected in her clear eyes a pair of long hands reaching forward, calmly taking the Little Red Book. Then he slowly opened it, carefully scanning each word and line, a faint smile of joy playing at the corners of his lips.
Only then did she come to her senses and hurriedly reach out to take it.
With the marriage certificate in hand, Shu Ran trembled slightly, took a deep breath, and slowly began to flip it open by its corner.
A red-background photo was affixed to the upper right corner of the document.
The two of them faced the camera, smiling gently.
Shu Ran was somewhat surprised; after all, in her impression, Qin Xian mostly wore a cold expression and rarely smiled. Even when he did smile, it was seldom directed at her.
But today, in the marriage certificate, he had a slight smile at the corners of his lips.
Shu Ran touched that photo and couldn't help but sigh.
When he smiled, it was truly very beautiful.
Like a warm breeze in the cold winter, gentle and not overwhelming, yet dispelling the harsh chill just right.
After receiving the marriage certificate, Cao Yun insisted on going out to eat together, but was silenced by a cold glance from Qin Xian, instantly making her too afraid to say anything.
Shu Ran was packing her things in the booth, sorting through the household registration book and some documents while Zhou Jiajia chattered beside her. She reminisced about their student days and sighed that she was now a married woman.
Just like her relatives, who kept talking non-stop, almost putting their hands on their hips.
Shu Ran found it both infuriating and amusing as she listened and organized her belongings.
"Um..." Suddenly, her phone vibrated in her bag. A flash of light peeked through the gap, revealing the name on the screen: Brother.
The moment Shu Ran saw it, an ominous premonition arose deep within her. Almost instinctively, she hurriedly opened her bag and anxiously answered the call, "Hello!"
There was silence on the other end. After nearly a minute, she finally heard Shu Yi's sorrowful and weak voice, "Shu Ran, Mom is not going to make it. You should come back."
...
Shu Ran couldn't remember how she got back to the hospital.
All she remembered was running wildly down the street, ignoring anyone calling after her and disregarding the various gazes from passersby. All she knew was that she needed to return to see Shu Mother one last time.
Now, she knelt by the hospital bed, waiting for her to wake up. Looking at Shu Mother's haggard and withered face, her heart ached terribly.
After an unknown amount of time, Shu Mother finally slowly opened her eyes. She struggled to sit up from the bed, her pale face twisted in pain, fine beads of sweat oozing from her forehead, as if every movement was a tremendous torment.
Shu Ran hurriedly stepped forward to help her up, her eyes glistening with tears. Below, her crimson lips were bitten and cracked, leaving only pale remnants. She held back her own tears to avoid crying in front of her.
"Then... then..." Shu Mother slowly began to speak, each word weighing heavily as she paused after every syllable, gasping for breath.
Shu Ran quickly nodded and replied, "I'm here, Mom, I'm here."
Shu Mother took a deep breath, using all her strength to say, "I heard... your brother... say that you... got married... is it true..."
"Yes! I got married," Shu Ran choked on her words. "Wait a moment, I'll get the marriage certificate for you."
Shu Ran turned around and grabbed the bag placed on the table. With trembling hands, she emptied its contents, frantically searching through everything until she found the Little Red Book.
Finally, a hint of red appeared in her eyes.
"Mom, I found it. Look," she opened the marriage certificate and eagerly pointed at the photo and the black-and-white text that told her, "Mom, I married Qin Xian."
Shu Mother’s vision was already blurry and her head felt heavy, yet she still carefully looked at the photo. The handsome young man in the picture was indeed Qin Xian. He looked just like he did when she first saw him downstairs.
It seemed that Shu Mother finally let go of all her worries. She sighed deeply and said, "Then... that's good... that's good..." before slowly falling back onto the bed and closing her eyes.
At 1:05 AM on November 27th, Shu Mother passed away from brain cancer.
...
The rain fell heavily, so much so that it blurred all the scenery in the world, merging into her tear-filled eyes.
In that moment, she finally understood that there was no such thing as empathy in this world; it was all a lie.
She had once stood at the emergency room door, witnessing doctors shaking their heads in despair and relatives breaking down in tears. At that time, she felt an immense sadness within her, suppressing her own tears, believing she could empathize with their pain.
But at this moment, she finally understood that profound sorrow, that sense of helplessness, that feeling of loss that would never return was far deeper than she had imagined.
She thought that after experiencing her father's suffering, the scars in her heart this time would not be so excruciating.
Yet life never easily lets go of her; those memories surged in her mind, and those bloody wounds bled fresh red blood once again.
Why did it hurt so much, to the point of suffocation?
They had warned her about her mother's health; Grandpa Zhang had reminded her.
Why hadn't she paid attention back then?
If only she had been a little more careful, would the outcome be different now? Could she have seized a chance?
Unfortunately, in this world, there are no "ifs," no opportunities to start over.
In this immense sorrow, she felt utterly desperate and coldly alone.
It was as if she were trapped in a great dream, alternating between heat and cold, traversing between deserts and glaciers. It felt like falling into an endless swamp, completely bound and unable to move.
She watched helplessly as her dearest loved ones walked hand in hand through her transparent body, smiling as they moved forward.
At that moment, she suddenly felt a sense of release, but why did her heart feel so empty, so lonely, so cold?
From now on, how should she spend every New Year's Eve, every Mid-Autumn Festival, every reunion night?
No one comforted her anymore when she felt wronged, offering her advice word by word.
No one urged her to do anything, forcing her to give up her fallen self, pushing her to move forward.
She was finally free.
Freedom felt so sorrowful.
She tightly closed her eyes, her tears long dried up, unable to shed even a single tear, leaving only the terrifyingly swollen skin around her eyes, bearing all the negative emotions.
Why did they leave her all alone?
Why did everyone have to go?
Please don't go.
Shu Ran I beg you, please don't leave.
Come back, please.
However, the only response she received was the silent stillness of the night.
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