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墨書 Inktalez
Lin Xi's eyes were filled with Lu Chenyu's face and expressions; she was only concerned about whether his heart was in pain.
After saying those words, Lin Xi thought An Shaojie would turn and leave, as he always did when they were children.
But he didn't. He smiled, a grand and sincere smile.
"Well, I'll head back first. You take him around the campus for a bit, and remember to send him back to the guesthouse to rest early," he instructed.
"I'll come by tomorrow morning to take you both out for breakfast." As he walked under an oak tree, standing in the dim light, An Shaojie suddenly turned back and said.
Lu Chenyu had been in Beijing for three days, all of which An Shaojie had hosted him.
Lin Xi wanted to decline, but then she thought that she regarded An Shaojie as her own brother. In fact, he had truly acted like her brother since childhood, so she accepted his hospitality with ease.
Moreover, if she declined, it would indeed create distance between them, which was not Lin Xi's intention.
She also didn't want to hurt him again.
The Brother Shaojie who was always ready to protect her in their childhood still held a familial place in her heart.
On the day Lu Chenyu left, it was still An Shaojie and Lin Xi who accompanied him to the train station.
As the two stood on the platform waving goodbye to Lu Chenyu with smiles on their faces, the moment they turned away, like magic, their smiles vanished simultaneously into the biting northern wind.
On the way back, the two remained silent. The natural and friendly banter they once shared felt as frozen as the pavement on the streets of Beijing.
Although An Shaojie was still as protective of her as ever—whether walking on the sidewalk, crossing the street, or riding the subway—there was an air of tension between them.
"Um, um, Lin Xi." As they reached the school gate, An Shaojie broke the suffocating silence. His voice sounded like it had been held back for a long time; it came out hoarse and dry.
"Mm." Lin Xi turned her face to smile at An Shaojie, then quickly averted her gaze from his face.
For some reason, the sudden silence made Lin Xi unable to look into An Shaojie's eyes and smile as she used to.
Lin Xi thought An Shaojie would invite her to study together like before. She had prepared herself to refuse him this time because she wanted to return to her dormitory and have some quiet time to sort out her thoughts from the past few days.
"You must be tired after all the busyness these days," An Shaojie's voice was very soft, as if he were just slowly exhaling.
Lin Xi's heart felt like it was gently plucked by a thin string, trembling lightly.
"Mm." Lin Xi nodded in response.
"Then you should go rest. I'll go to the library by myself today," An Shaojie said.
Lin Xi nodded again, "Mm."
After returning to the dormitory, she found it empty. Lin Xi inexplicably felt a wave of emptiness and loneliness. She lay in bed, and finally, a tear escaped from her eye.
Lin Xi, oh Lin Xi, who are you really hurting? You are hurting yourself, do you know that?
Yes, Lin Xi's heart was aching with every contraction!
What about An Shaojie? He did not go study as he said he would. His thoughts were chaotic; how could he focus on reading?
From the moment Zilu Chenyu appeared, the calmness he had maintained for so many years was completely disrupted.
He dragged his weary feet back to the dormitory, where no one was present either.
It was a holiday, and who would stay in the dorm waiting for loneliness?
He hadn't taken off his shoes and lay quietly outside the blanket for more than ten minutes.
In just a few short days, he felt exhausted! A fatigue he had never experienced before in his life. He was inherently a person full of fighting spirit; even before the tense college entrance examination, while many were anxious and fatigued, he remained meticulous, adhering strictly to his routine, as rigorous as usual, without any sign of tension, pressure, or fatigue.
But at this moment, he felt mentally and physically drained.
It wasn't that his heart was weak; it was fate that was powerless! How could it play such tricks on him!
Yet An Shaojie was still An Shaojie; in his dictionary, there were never words like despair, decay, or retreat.
After just over ten minutes of feeling down, An Shaojie picked up a book and headed to the library.
As he left, he adjusted his clothes in front of the mirror hanging on the wall by the dormitory door and tidied his hair. This was An Shaojie's habit; at any time, he would not let anyone see him looking disheveled. He was used to wrapping his fragile heart in a hard shell.
Although he couldn't concentrate on his thoughts in the library, he still forced himself to sit down and immerse himself in the quiet environment around him.
During dinner time, after hesitating for a moment outside Lin Xi's dormitory building, he ultimately did not go to the Conveyance Room to summon her as he had before. Instead, he took his books and went to the cafeteria alone.
Since he also wanted some quiet time for himself, why not give her some time to be at peace as well?
However, Lin Xi had no idea that so much had changed in his thoughts in such a short time. She waited for him in the dormitory as usual until everyone else had finished dinner and returned to their rooms before she finally went to the cafeteria alone.
Although after Lu Chenyu left, Lin Xi wanted to emotionally distance An Shaojie from herself, she wasn't fully prepared for it. The feelings she wanted to isolate were only that part of love between men and women; she had never thought about distancing herself from their childhood friendship and emotions. So when she didn't wait for An Shaojie, she felt a bit disappointed inside.
On her way back to the dormitory from the cafeteria, Lin Xi saw An Shaojie walking ahead with a book tucked under his arm.
Many childhood memories suddenly surged into Lin Xi's mind, all the good things about him piling up in her heart.
A gust of wind blew by, stirring up the dust and a few fallen leaves on the ground, lifting his thin clothing. Lin Xi suddenly felt that the tall, slender figure walking ahead looked very lonely and desolate.
She felt a wave of softness in her heart, realizing that her indifference towards him was quite cruel.
She stopped in her tracks, lightly biting her lower lip as she gazed at his gradually receding silhouette.
Back in the dormitory, Lin Xi grabbed her books, slung her bag over her shoulder, and headed to the library.
It didn't take long for Lin Xi to find him.
His books were on the table by the window in the Reading Room where they often sat.
But he was not there. Lin Xi gently placed her books next to his and scanned the entire library; everyone was quietly reading.
An Shaojie was not in the Reading Room.
Lin Xi walked out of the Reading Room again. She knew where he was.
Sure enough, behind the outdoor rockery in the center of the first floor, An Shaojie was looking up at the gray sky. Lin Xi quietly approached him from behind and stood there for several minutes before he finally noticed someone was behind him.
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