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墨書 Inktalez
After Christmas, the school held another cultural performance, especially organizing several special programs for the graduates. Li Xueshou, the school's top program host, was invited back to the stage for one last time as he was about to graduate.
Reiko arrived early at the studio and took a seat at the front. Before long, the large studio was packed with people, and the program was about to begin.
Amidst the noise, the dazzling stage slowly opened up, and several hosts walked up front with microphones in hand.
He wore a black suit, exuding charisma.
Reiko's world suddenly fell silent! All that remained were her burning gaze and her racing heart.
She had seen him like this before and often watched him on stage, but never had it made her heart race like now. It felt as if he was looking directly at her. Yet she knew he wasn't actually seeing her; even if his gaze occasionally swept in her direction, she understood he couldn't see her. In the sea of dark figures, how could he possibly notice her? She was so ordinary, so unremarkable, and indeed there were so many people around.
But her heart raced uncontrollably! After that night, she knew that even if he didn't love her, he must have some special feelings for her because she had once been his support during his vulnerable moments.
Her roommates had been chattering about him since the moment he stepped onto the stage. She had no intention of listening because she knew he would never belong to her. Moreover, she had already learned from Jian Ming that he liked another girl. However, his name kept coming up, and she found herself eavesdropping.
"He has someone he likes," said Zhu Shuting, her tone somewhat cynical and weary.
Zhu Shuting had reconciled with Zhu Jingpeng after he called his ex-girlfriend in front of her to tell her that he had found someone new and asked her not to disturb him anymore.
Although they appeared to be back together on the surface, everyone knew that Zhu Shuting was not the same as before. Or rather, Zhu Shuting's love now was no longer what it used to be. In the past, she could be willful and spoiled in front of Zhu Jingpeng, arguing and going crazy for love, almost causing a scene every day. But now, she no longer caused trouble with Zhu Jingpeng; she had become quiet, obedient, and well-behaved. She said, "It's better to let others love you than to love someone else. Whatever type of girl he likes, I will become that kind of girl so that he will love me; why should I torment myself trying to love someone else? It will only hurt me."
So even now, facing graduation and preparing for a good ending with Zhu Jingpeng, Zhu Shuting still couldn't muster any enthusiasm for love.
Her words also served as a reminder to Reiko, warning her not to end up as an unknowing backup.
But after hearing her words, Reiko thought that she didn't even have the chance to be a backup; when you love someone deeply, even being a backup feels like happiness.
"I already knew he liked someone," Nan Xue chimed in.
Nan Xue's travel arrangements were almost complete. Although her heart had died regarding love, she did not react as intensely as Zhu Shuting; instead, she felt a calm indifference.
"But you probably don't know who he likes, right? You all probably think he's a pure-hearted guy! He likes a girl and has been keeping himself pure for her, right?" Zhu Shuting sneered slightly.
"Isn't that so?" Yang Zhi retorted.
In fact, she had always admired Li Xueshou.
"Hmph!" Zhu Shuting snorted, her sneer deepening. "The girl next to him is the one he likes. Didn't you know?"
"What?" Nan Xue and Yang Zhi exclaimed in surprise.
"That girl who is co-hosting with him," Zhu Shuting pointed to the stage. "They have been in a secret relationship because the school rules prohibit student council members from dating. If they do, they can't receive scholarships, so they have kept it under wraps."
Reiko's world fell silent once again.
"It seems very deep, right? You thought it was a very restrained love, didn't you?" Zhu Shuting continued.
"Yeah, it's hard to believe how many things are like this in the world," Nan Xue sighed.
"Also, they've actually been living together for a long time, very close. You thought it was pure-hearted, didn't you?"
Zhu Shuting kept chattering on, but Reiko could no longer hear what she was saying; all she could hear was the sound of her own heart breaking.
She stood up in a daze and rushed outside without caring about anything else. To say she rushed outside without caring meant not just her actions but also the reckless state of her heart.
Outside was very quiet, so quiet that Reiko easily thought of the word disappointment. The thoughts swirling in her mind were not about what they had just said but rather her own beautiful hopes and dreams about love. Even though she had never expected to obtain this love, she still insisted that it should be as she imagined: noble, elevated, and pure.
The program in the studio continued, with music and applause occasionally drifting out, along with his still magnetic baritone voice lingering in her ears, ethereal and elusive.
The air outside was cold, and Reiko hugged her coat tightly. After running out, she didn't want to go back, but she didn't know where to go.
"Reiko," someone called her from behind.
It was Jian Ming, who had followed her out after seeing her leave.
Reiko turned and stood by the roadside waiting for him.
"Is it disappointment or loss?" Jian Ming asked.
Reiko put her hands in the pockets of her coat, looked up at the starry sky, and smiled as she said, "Not loss, but a bit disappointed."
"Why not loss?" Jian Ming asked again.
"Because I used to think of him as too perfect, so I never had any expectations of anything happening between us. Now that things are not as I imagined, I have no wishes, so there is no loss," Reiko replied.
"Then what about disappointment? Is it that you have too high expectations of love or of him?" Jian Ming asked.
"How can I have too high expectations of him? I never thought we would have any intersection. Of course, it's about love; it has nothing to do with him," Reiko said, looking down.
"But having high expectations often leads to disappointment. I'm worried about you. I hope you meet someone you like soon," Jian Ming said with a sigh. "Actually, it's not about having high expectations; it's about hoping someone meets your standards. As for someone you like, I believe you'll meet them sooner or later," Reiko said, turning her face towards Jian Ming. "It's said that when Nuwa created humans, she would mold each person along with their other half. So I think Nuwa definitely hasn't forgotten my other half; they are just hiding somewhere and haven't appeared yet," Reiko continued.
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