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墨書 Inktalez
Seeing that there were fewer things related to An Shaojie in the room, Qinglan felt a bit panicked. This time, she was truly anxious. Because she suddenly had a premonition—no, not suddenly; when she woke up that morning, her heart felt heavy, and she had a sense of foreboding that followed her all the way here.
An Shaojie was gone.
All the English review books that Qinglan had seen yesterday were missing, and the desk was much emptier.
Qinglan looked again at the temporary wardrobe; almost all of his clothes were gone.
“He really left this time,” Qinglan murmured to herself. “You couldn’t even wait for me for a moment? I waited for you with my entire youth, yet you couldn’t wait even a second.”
Qinglan stayed in the rental apartment all day, hoping for a miracle, hoping An Shaojie would appear again.
That night, Qinglan did not return to the dormitory. She tidied up his messy bed and spent the night in the rental apartment.
In the following days, Qinglan continued to stay there and eat there. She longed for a moment when An Shaojie might show up, even if just for a brief instant. She vowed that this time she would no longer hold back in front of him, no longer be afraid or timid. She would be full of affection and would transcend the overly familiar feelings she had known since childhood, boldly confessing her timid heart to him.
She wanted to confess her feelings to him boldly. She wanted to express her love for him like other girls in love did.
Thinking about the word "confess," Qinglan realized that although she had been with him for so long and seemed to care about him deeply, she had never actually told him how much he meant to her. She had never confessed her feelings; she had never told him that she loved him and cared about him. The person she waited for with her entire youth was only him.
Recalling Hu Jiao'er’s hand-holding confession, Shen Xiaomeng’s balloon pursuit, and Jiang Liuying’s label-changing affection, Qinglan felt lost and frustrated, feeling unfairness and imbalance. She had received nothing from An Shaojie while giving the most.
But then she thought again: hadn’t she decided long ago that as long as she loved him, that was enough? Back then, just getting him to look at her would have satisfied her. Now, not only could she see him every day, but they could also express their feelings publicly as a couple, sitting beside him and walking together. Yet she was still not satisfied; she wanted more. She wished he could romantically confess his love like other couples did, hold her hand, whisper sweet words to her, and tell her he loved her.
But deep down, she knew he couldn’t do those things and wouldn’t do them either. Yet she kept holding those expectations against him. So subconsciously, while she loved him deeply, there was also dissatisfaction within her that made her indifferent towards him.
But now, confessing to him has truly become an unattainable luxury for Qinglan.
Later, although Qinglan remained in the rental apartment, An Shaojie never returned.
In the second semester of junior year, there were only a few elective courses left. With not many classes and students preparing for graduate school entrance exams or various English tests for studying abroad, classroom teaching had become much more relaxed and negligent than before. Some students even frequently skipped classes.
An Shaojie had also become much more indifferent than before. He no longer arrived early to study in the classroom every day; he basically came just as the class bell rang and left right after the class ended.
A few times, Qinglan tried to block him after class, but before she could even pack her things, he would float away like the wind.
After several attempts like this, Qinglan finally understood that he was deliberately avoiding her.
If someone wants to intentionally avoid another person, even if you have a timer in hand, it is still difficult to catch them at the right moment.
After failing to catch An Shaojie several times, Qinglan sadly remarked on her situation.
Just like their current state, setting aside their relationship as a couple and their childhood bond, as classmates they should have easily found opportunities to talk since they saw each other every day. Yet, between her and him, it felt like they were worlds apart. She could see him, but he was just a fleeting spirit that danced before her eyes; when she reached out to touch him, he dissipated like smoke.
A person who appears every day yet feels completely out of reach—this feeling is something only Qinglan has experienced.
As for Qinglan's anxious and helpless state, An Shaojie naturally turned a blind eye to it. However, another person was watching closely and felt anxious for her.
For Xu Wen, seeing Qinglan's suffering made him want to bear that pain for her.
Oh no, actually his suffering was no less than Qinglan's.
Because he wanted to get closer to her. Seeing Qinglan distressed over An Shaojie made him wish he could step forward and pull her into his embrace to comfort her properly.
At the same time, he really wanted to hit An Shaojie. Every time he saw his cold face and icy eyes, he felt an urge to step forward and slap him, to warm up his face. He wanted to tell him that if he didn't love him, he should let go and allow him to love properly, making An Shaojie feel jealous and regretful until his eyes turned red.
Well, since Qinglan couldn't stop him, let me do it! Xu Wen felt a sense of determination.
That day, in early March, the sunlight in Beijing City was bright and clear.
An Shaojie had just walked down the steps of the teaching building when Xu Wen suddenly appeared from around the corner of the wall.
He blocked An Shaojie's path, his expression serious and his gaze sharp.
An Shaojie stopped in his tracks, standing still and staring stiffly at Xu Wen.
In the end, it was Xu Wen who spoke first: "An Shaojie, can we talk?" He tried to soften his voice.
"What are we going to talk about? About dating? Can we even date? Ridiculous," An Shaojie replied coldly with a laugh.
"Don't look elsewhere," Xu Wen said, trying to control himself.
"Then..." An Shaojie's throat moved slightly, feeling a bit hesitant as he asked, "Have we ever had any interaction?"
Indeed, since the first day of school, there had been no hatred between him and Xu Wen, yet they had never had any interaction for no reason at all. He had always refused to associate with Xu Wen. Instinctively, he resisted him. "I'm here to talk to you on behalf of Qinglan," Xu Wen said.
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