Book Synopsis
Book Tags
Donation Rankings
Comment
0 Comments
You May Also Like
墨書 Inktalez
Pretending to be calm for a few days, ultimately, Qinglan's mood was shattered by a seemingly indifferent yet naturally caring remark from Xu Wen. Her feelings plummeted from the clouds to the depths.
She started with quiet sobs, then broke into loud cries, gradually returning to soft whimpers.
It was unclear how long she had been crying; she only felt that the light outside had grown brighter and the room had become more stifling. A shadow loomed over her, standing in front of her.
"Let's go eat."
They didn't go to the cafeteria; Xu Wen took her to a restaurant outside and sat down without asking what she wanted, picking up the menu and ordering for himself.
When the dishes arrived, they were abundant, far more than enough for two people.
"Why did we order so much food for just two people?" Qinglan asked, glancing at the spread on the table.
"It's not just two people; it's three."
Xu Wen had intended to lighten the mood with a joke, but his words only brought up the trouble at hand. Instead of brightening the atmosphere, it plunged them both into deeper silence. Especially for Qinglan, she couldn't help but lower her head to look at her belly. It was flat as before, neither larger nor protruding. But Qinglan knew it was different now; inside her was a life that, like her, was looking at the food on the table, hungry and waiting to eat.
Yes, Xu Wen was right to remind her; otherwise, she would always think of herself as the same old Qinglan, still alone. An Shaojie was gone, yet she was not alone; there was still someone who would accompany her, someone who would always be with her, who would not abandon her and would need her.
As soon as the food was served, Qinglan lowered her head and began to eat voraciously, truly eating for two.
Xu Wen watched her.
He clearly told her to eat more, reminding her that one person needed to eat for two, yet he felt a pang of heartache.
"Why do you have to eat so fast? Even if you're eating for two, there's no need to rush," he said. He knew she was pretending—pretending it didn't matter, pretending to be carefree. But he also understood how much pain she was hiding inside.
"After all, that child is still very small and can't trouble you yet."
Her pace of eating gradually slowed down, turning into a single grain at a time being sent to her mouth. Tears in her eyes fell like grains of rice, one drop at a time, landing perfectly on the rice beside her lips.
Xu Wen took out a tissue to help her wipe her tears. "Eat your meal; take your time. It's all food prepared for you, all your favorites. After you finish, listen to me and go to the hospital to terminate the pregnancy. You will still be the original Lanlan, the happy and carefree Lanlan."
"Even if I terminate the pregnancy, I can never go back to who I was. I have never been carefree; I wasn't before, and I won't be in the future." A grain of rice sat in her mouth while a tear lingered at the corner of her lips. Her voice trembled with suppressed sorrow.
"I see you usually listen well and are quite perceptive. Why are you being so stubborn at this moment? You can still be happy right now; you are still the same you. This isn't your fault. Loving someone and giving your all—what's wrong with that? If there's blame, it's on that irresponsible person who ran away." Xu Wen picked up some vegetables for her; there were plenty in her bowl, yet Qinglan had not taken another bite.
"Just eat," Xu Wen urged. "You need to have some strength later; after all, it's not a small operation."
"I'm not going," came her stubborn reply, pushing back against Xu Wen's words.
Xu Wen's hand trembled slightly as he held the chopsticks, then he slammed them down on the table. "Think it through; you're not usually this willful."
"I've thought it through." She met his gaze firmly. "I won't terminate this pregnancy." When discussing the child in her belly again, she no longer showed the shyness or fear from before; it seemed she had adapted, accepted, and believed in the existence of a real life within her. She was no longer sensitive or evasive about this topic.
Xu Wen silently marveled at how quickly she had adjusted to such a significant change that would take many girls a long time to come to terms with. Setting aside that it was an unconventional transition, even through normal processes like marriage and childbirth, many girls remain in a dreamlike state for quite some time—unable to believe or accept reality. Some girls even feel as if everything is surreal long after their child has grown for several years.
But she...
While sighing, the heart that worried for her kept swaying up and down, making it impossible for him to feel at ease.
This might be what is called youthful recklessness, or perhaps naivety, or even the impetuousness of being young. In any case, at that time, the young her was just a useless college student who had not yet graduated, relying on others for her own life. Yet she foolishly placed the unbearable weight of life on her still fragile wings, believing she could carry it and fly, thinking she was great, persistent, unique, noble, and cool, convinced that her love was different from others, deeper than the mountains and broader than the seas.
She thought that even if she bore this heaviness, one day she would stand proudly before the world, especially before the person who had once abandoned her, shattering their mockery and disdain.
Little did she know that all of this would come at the cost of sacrificing far too much and enduring far too much suffering and pain—not just her youthful reputation, youth, and happiness—but also losing everything she had fought hard to achieve, losing all the beautiful things she had cultivated with the purest heart. She would have to bear the ridicule, disdain, blame from others, and even more abandonment—friendship, love, family ties, and so on.
But at that moment, Qinglan could not see or realize any of this; all she felt was a youthful defiance against An Shaojie’s heartlessness and betrayal—a contempt and provocation that she dismissed.
Xu Wen seemed to understand Qinglan's thoughts; after all, she merely wanted to prove to An Shaojie that without him, she and her child could still live well. The child was hers alone and had nothing to do with him. She wanted to show her disdain for him through this disregard for his departure.
Xu Wen could even speculate that one day Qinglan might tell An Shaojie that this child had nothing to do with him—that the child was not his at all.
Indeed, when An Shaojie left her and the child in such a silent manner, it could be said that the child was indeed unrelated to him.
However, love always makes the one who loves seem foolishly pitiful. When you do these things and think this way, does the person who has left you and does not love you care about what you are doing? Do they care about your thoughts? Your defiance, your provocation—your youthful arrogance has nothing to do with him, just as you believe the child has nothing to do with him. Dear people, never try to awaken someone who pretends to be asleep in front of you; it will only hurt yourself. Yet in the fog of love, it is always "only because I am in this mountain that I cannot see Lushan's true face." Even Xu Wen sighed over Qinglan while finding herself trapped in this fog of not recognizing the true nature of love.
Comment 0 Comment Count