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墨書 Inktalez
Anthon's throat felt as if it were blocked. Just when he wanted to argue or express something, he realized he couldn't say a word. Brother Jie’s harsh words, though painful to hear, forced him to acknowledge their truth, leaving him feeling helpless and powerless. His heart raced violently, and his throat felt tightly constricted, unable to produce any sound. Waves of shame and humiliation surged within him, drowning his rationality.
Seeing Anthon in this state, Brother Jie revealed a smug smile, one that radiated the pride of a victor, as if he had completely taken control of the situation. He then turned away, exposing his taut back and buttocks, showing no concern for Anthon's struggles and conflicts. Brother Jie began to slowly put on his clothes, each movement appearing calm and unhurried, as if he were savoring the feeling of control. His actions were graceful and confident; every stretch of his arms and fastening of buttons seemed so natural, like a meticulously choreographed performance.
Anthon stood against the wall, watching Brother Jie regain his usual poised demeanor, feeling a mix of emotions. The words Brother Jie had just spoken echoed in his mind like sharp swords piercing through his self-esteem and defenses. He felt completely exposed, with all his struggles and hidden emotions laid bare before Brother Jie—there was nowhere to hide.
The internal struggle left Anthon in extreme pain. On one hand, he wanted to escape this suffocating environment and distance himself from Brother Jie's control and provocation; on the other hand, he had to admit that he felt an undeniable attraction to Brother Jie. This conflicting emotion left him utterly confused and powerless. He wanted to resist and defend his dignity, but every time he looked into Brother Jie's deep eyes, his resolve wavered, and his rationality crumbled.
"Get ready quickly! I'll take you home," Brother Jie's voice broke through Anthon's thoughts. This seemingly cold yet helpful attitude made Anthon feel even more conflicted. He couldn't help but wonder why this person could inflict pain on him while also offering a glimmer of hope and warmth. There seemed to be a contradiction in Brother Jie's words—a mix of command and concern—that left Anthon feeling even more bewildered and lost.
Anthon struggled internally; he knew he should refuse Brother Jie's help and stand firm in his position. However, reality made him feel powerless. He couldn't deny that deep down, he still had a sense of dependence and desire for Brother Jie. This feeling made him feel both ashamed and helpless. He stood there with clenched fists, nails digging into his palms as he tried to use pain to awaken his rationality.
This sudden shift made Anthon realize that no matter how much he wanted to escape or deny it, certain facts between him and Brother Jie were unavoidable. Now, even though he was unwilling in his heart, Anthon could only silently accept Brother Jie's "kindness" and prepare to leave this painful yet confusing place with him. He felt weighed down by heavy steps; each movement felt like dragging chains of iron behind him. Yet he knew he had no choice but to face this reality, no matter how cruel it was.
Anthon's heart was filled with struggle and pain as he blamed himself for being so weak while being uncontrollably attracted to Brother Jie. This contradiction and helplessness left him feeling unprecedented confusion and despair. Yet at the same time, he knew he had to find a way out, no matter how difficult or winding that path might be. Gritting his teeth, he silently followed Brother Jie, filled with uncertainty and confusion about the future.
Anthon carefully put on his pants; the pain in his buttocks made every movement feel like a sharp sting. This physical suffering accompanied by deep shame made his actions particularly cautious and slow. His face twisted slightly from the pain as his fingers trembled, trying not to let this agony show on his face. Each time he pulled up his pants felt like tearing at his dignity; the inner humiliation left him feeling utterly ashamed.
He secretly glanced at his phone and realized time was running out; the meeting time with Haohao was approaching fast. He needed to go home to grab his photography equipment before heading to the station to meet Haohao—this back-and-forth would undoubtedly take some time. Anxiety filled Anthon as he knew that missing this meeting would affect their shooting plans and disappoint Haohao.
Watching Brother Jie brushing his teeth in the bathroom brought forth an extremely reluctant thought in Anthon's mind. Asking for help from Brother Jie at this moment felt like the ultimate self-humiliation; however, considering the urgency of time, it seemed he had no choice. A fierce internal struggle ensued—on one hand, he didn't want to rely on someone who made him feel humiliated and pained; on the other hand, the pressure of time left him with no options.
Taking a deep breath to muster some courage and calmness, he walked toward the bathroom door. Each step felt like walking on a knife's edge; the intertwining feelings of humiliation and helplessness weighed heavily on him. Standing at the door, his hands were clenched into fists with nails digging into his palms as he tried to use pain to mask the inner struggle and shame.
"Brother Jie," Anthon's voice was low and hesitant, tinged with reluctance and forced urgency. "Can you... give me a ride one more time? I need to get home quickly to grab something, and then head to the station." This request was not easy for Anthon; his voice was filled with helplessness and uncertainty, and he couldn't bring himself to meet Brother Jie's gaze, his eyes darting around. He felt cornered, left with no choice but to lower his head and seek help from someone who made him feel utterly humiliated.
Upon hearing Anthon's request, Brother Jie paused his brushing, turning to look at him. A glimmer of mockery and satisfaction flashed in his deep-set eyes, as if he could see through Anthon's inner struggle and despair. The corners of Brother Jie's mouth lifted slightly, revealing a smug smile that carried the air of a victor, as if to say, "I knew you would come begging me."
"In such a hurry to see Haohao?" Brother Jie said leisurely, his tone laced with provocation and teasing. "Do you really need my help this badly?" His words dripped with superiority, making Anthon feel even more ashamed and powerless.
Anthon's expression darkened, a mix of pride and humiliation swirling within him, leaving him confused and pained. He didn't want to be under Brother Jie's control or taunts any longer, but the pressure of reality made it impossible to refuse the offer. Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to calm down and managed to squeeze out a smile, trying to make his voice sound as steady as possible.
"Yes, time is tight," Anthon struggled to keep his tone calm and firm. "I need your help; it's important to me." He tried to retain a shred of dignity in his tone, but the feeling of humiliation gnawed at him painfully.
Brother Jie noted Anthon's response with a glint of satisfaction and pride in his eyes. He chuckled lightly and nodded. "Alright then, since you're being so sincere, I'll help you one more time." His voice carried an authority that brooked no refusal, leaving Anthon feeling utterly humiliated and resigned.
Anthon silently accepted this reality, filled with pain and struggle inside. He knew he had no choice but to rely on Brother Jie's assistance, yet this dependence made him feel deeply ashamed and powerless. Taking another deep breath, he forced himself to confront this reality before lowering his head and following Brother Jie away from this place that was both painful and bewildering.
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