This pen was won by the Cold Thunder during a basketball game in college. At that time, the school was quite stingy, and the first prize was just a pen for each person.
The leader of the Cold Thunder was not pleased; he didn't think much of such a pen.
It was Lu Kenian who comforted him, saying that the prize was secondary, and what mattered most was everyone's hard work and effort during the process.
The Cold Thunder gave this pen to Lu Kenian, and their names were engraved on it.
Originally, Lu Kenian had a red string bracelet that she got from a temple during a trip with the Cold Thunder. She always wore it on her wrist.
Later, she lost it, and the only remaining memory of the Cold Thunder was this pen.
Was she really going to marry Lin Xiao?
Lu Kenian had been pondering this question for some time.
For a woman like her, who was unmarried and pregnant with a daughter, it was already quite fortunate that someone was willing to marry her. Ever since she started living with her daughter, she had not dared to hope for remarriage.
Lin Xiao was indeed a good man—gentle and considerate, and he was a doctor with limitless potential. Moreover, he treated Xiao Nan very well.
Lu Kenian fell into deep thought.
Logically speaking, Lin Xiao was already a blessing bestowed upon her by fate; what exactly was she struggling with?
According to their agreement, Lin Xiao arrived early, took Lu Xiaonan to kindergarten, and then brought Lu Kenian to the civil affairs bureau.
"Did you bring all the documents?" Lin Xiao turned to ask Lu Kenian.
Lu Kenian seemed a bit distracted.
" Lu Kenian!"
"Ah? What is it?" Lu Kenian finally came to her senses.
Lin Xiao still wore a bright smile. "I was asking if you have all the documents ready?"
"I have everything."
"You look a bit unwell. Are you feeling okay?"
"Maybe I didn't sleep well last night," Lu Kenian said uneasily as she touched her face.
"Then let's go inside." Just as Lin Xiao was about to get out of the car, Lu Kenian suddenly grabbed his wrist.
"Lin Xiao, are you really sure you want to marry me? I have a child without being married, and now I'm also taking care of Xiao Nan. Have you thought this through regarding your parents?"
Lu Kenian's words were somewhat incoherent, and Lin Xiao could see the panic in her eyes.
Lin Xiao gently patted the back of Lu Kenian's hand.
" Lu Kenian, don't worry. My parents won't have any issues with this. Let's go."
"Oh..." Lu Kenian released her grip, opened the car door, and got out. Lin Xiao watched her retreating figure with a hint of melancholy.
Today was not a special holiday, and since it was early, there weren't many people at the civil affairs bureau.
The two waited for a short while before it was their turn.
"Please organize your documents according to what's listed here," the staff member pointed to a paper posted on the window.
To expedite the process, there was a list of all required documents and procedures for registration.
"We're all set," Lin Xiao handed over his documents to the staff member, but Lu Kenian did not move.
“ Lu Kenian, Lu Kenian, your documents!”
Lin Xiao repeatedly reminded him, and only then did Lu Kenian slowly hand over his documents.
The staff checked them and then handed a few forms to the two of them.
“You two fill out these forms, then go to the room next door for photos, and finally come back to me for the stamp to create your marriage registration certificate.”
Lin Xiao noted everything down and then sat down with Lu Kenian at a table to start filling out the forms.
The forms were very simple; Lin Xiao finished in just five minutes. He turned to look at Lu Kenian, who hadn’t written a single word on his form.
Lu Kenian was staring blankly at his form, his gaze unfocused.
He didn’t even know what he was thinking.
Lin Xiao’s smile gradually faded.
Lu Kenian looked up and noticed Lin Xiao was watching him, immediately smiling awkwardly.
“I zoned out again. Have you finished? I’ll fill it out right away!”
Lu Kenian quickly picked up the pen and started filling out the form.
Lu Kenian, what are you really thinking about?
What are you still hoping for?
Lin Xiao, he is such a good man; this is your blessing!
As Lu Kenian thought this in his heart, he quickly completed the form.
All it takes is a signature below, and everything will be settled.
Looking at the signature line, Lu Kenian seemed to have made a significant decision as she took a deep breath.
Just as she was about to sign, Lin Xiao suddenly grabbed Lu Kenian's hand.
"Forget it, Lu Kenian. Why force yourself?"
"Lin Xiao... I'm sorry, Lin Xiao. I might not be in the best state these days. Don't worry, I'll adjust myself soon. Just let me sign."
"No, Lu Kenian. You've been resisting this matter in your heart, resisting our marriage."
"I..."
Lu Kenian put down the pen and sighed sadly.
"I don't even know what's wrong with me. I feel like there's something in my heart that I can't let go of, but I can't pinpoint what it is."
"It's Cold Thunder."
Lu Kenian seemed to be struck by a realization and looked at Lin Xiao in surprise.
"No, Lin Xiao, don't misunderstand. It's not because of him. I hate him. There has always been a barrier between us due to the wealthy family background, and now with this layer of hatred added, it's even more impossible!"
Lu Kenian vehemently denied it.
She wasn't deceiving Lin Xiao; in fact, she was using these words to numb herself.
" Lu Kenian, stop deceiving yourself. What you truly can't let go of is Cold Thunder. Just yesterday, Xiao Nan told me that you've been unhappy lately. I was even thinking about how to help you break free from the shadows of the past and make you happy. When you just mentioned worrying about my parents' disapproval, I was also struggling."
Lin Xiao lowered his head, his glasses fogged up.
"But when I saw you hesitating like this, I realized I was wrong. It's still not too late to correct this mistake."
"Lin Xiao, I..."
Lu Kenian lowered her head. "I'm sorry, Lin Xiao. I don't love you. I know you are a good man. If it weren't for you, there wouldn't be today’s me and Xiao Nan. You have sacrificed so much for me and Xiao Nan, but..."
Lin Xiao's lips curled into a bittersweet smile.
"I'm sorry. I know that your acceptance of me is the greatest mercy from heaven, but I really can't bring myself to love you. It's not because you're not good enough; it's just that... I can't get over this hurdle in my heart. I'm sorry..."
"Stop apologizing so much, Lu Kenian. I'm not blaming you. Lu Kenian, you are a good woman."
In that moment, Lin Xiao suddenly felt relieved. Even if they really registered their marriage today, a marriage without love would not be happy.
He tore up the form on the table and threw it into the trash can.
Lu Kenian remained immersed in guilt, feeling that she had let Lin Xiao down and that she shouldn't have accepted his proposal in the first place.
The two sat in the car preparing to go back.
Lin Xiao did not start driving immediately; his gaze was melancholic. " Lu Kenian, actually, there's something I've never told you."
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