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墨書 Inktalez
V sat in the luxury sedan provided by Arasaka Group, surrounded by a quiet so profound that only the faint urban clamor could be heard seeping in through the soundproof glass. The opulent interior of the car sharply contrasted with the bustling scene outside, but V's thoughts drifted to a distant place. Ever since Johnny Silverhand—the terrorist with a penchant for radical ideas—was forcibly separated from V's consciousness, the inner turmoil that had always accompanied him suddenly quieted down. However, this silence did not bring the expected comfort or joy to V; instead, it filled his heart with an indescribable emptiness.
The atmosphere inside the car reflected the weight of V's internal struggle and conflict. Despite Johnny's presence often causing V to feel restless and uneasy, and at times even pushing them to the brink of opposition due to their differing opinions, after a series of life-and-death battles and decisions, Johnny had become an inseparable part of V. Johnny's disappearance felt like a beam of light being pulled from V's life, leaving an unfillable void. Despite everything outside seemingly continuing as usual, V felt increasingly lonely in this vast universe.
Sitting there, V's face showed no smile, only deep contemplation and an indescribable sense of loss. This loss was not just because of losing a voice that had long accompanied him in his mind, but also because V realized that both Johnny and himself were seeking some kind of liberation, and this separation was just another step on that long road. On this road, V began to ponder, what is true liberation? And where should he go from here?
In V's heart, besides the emptiness brought by losing Johnny Silverhand, there was also a heavier worry pressing on his shoulders.
When the doctor announced to him in a cold, professional tone that he only had six months left to live, he felt like the whole world collapsed in an instant. This news was like a thunderbolt from the blue, tearing apart all his hopes and dreams for the future. At the moment of accepting this fact, V's heart was almost numb, but as time passed, that numbness slowly transformed into a deep sense of powerlessness and uncontrollable anger.
Despite his efforts to maintain a calm exterior, the storm within him grew more and more intense. Whenever it was quiet at night, when he was alone, V's thoughts would expand infinitely, recalling all the efforts and sacrifices he had made for Arasaka Group and for Hanako. He had been so busy, devoting almost all his energy and life for the sake of others' purposes and ideals. He was embroiled in the internal strife of the Arasaka family, witnessed the revival of Arasaka Saburo - all of this had originally constructed a heroic self-image in his mind, making him feel that his life was full of value and meaning.
However, now, when this cruel fate is announced, all efforts and sacrifices seem to have become meaningless. V's heart is filled with disappointment towards Arasaka and Hanako, not because they lacked the ability to change his fate, but because at the moment he needed help the most, he felt an unprecedented sense of loneliness and abandonment.
This suppressed anger is directed towards Arasaka, towards Hanako, towards the entire Night City, and towards his own sense of powerlessness and fear of death. V once selflessly dedicated himself to others, but now he faces a lonely path towards death. Driven by these emotions, subtle changes begin to appear on V's face, the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth is not just an expression of anger, but also an outward manifestation of his inner struggle and conflict. He feels trapped in an unsolvable maze, where every attempt to escape seems ruthlessly closed off, leaving him feeling utterly helpless and hopeless.
On this unknown and rugged path of life, V feels as if he has entered a dark tunnel, with an uncertain future and no clear direction. His heart is filled with confusion and unease, with each heartbeat reminding him of the passing time and the fragility of life. Faced with Hanako's request, he almost mechanically agrees, driven by a sense of confusion and powerlessness. V is keenly aware that as someone privy to many of Arasaka's top secrets, his choices are actually quite limited. If he were to refuse to assist Arasaka, the remaining six months of his life would be spent under their invisible surveillance and threat, filled with oppression and lack of freedom.
With this understanding, V feels that it is better to temporarily join them, at least allowing himself to make some contribution in the final stage of his life, even if it is under the banner of Arasaka. This choice is not out of loyalty to Arasaka, nor is it out of trust in Hanako, but rather a struggle to seek self-worth in helplessness. V knows deeply that joining Arasaka means being drawn into even more complex struggles and conspiracies, which may make his remaining life even more risky and uncertain. But for him now, being able to stand in the center of the storm again, even if involuntarily, is more fulfilling and meaningful than doing nothing.
This decision has left V feeling complex and difficult to understand. On one hand, he feels a slight sense of anticipation for his future, as there is still the possibility of pursuing something in his limited life, even if it's a trivial achievement. But at the same time, he also feels doubtful and self-blaming about his choice, with a hint of regret and unwillingness in his heart. Sitting in the vehicle of Arasaka Group, V looks at the rapidly receding scenery outside the window. In his heart, there is both a hint of determination brought by the decision and a deep sense of powerlessness in facing an unknown fate. At this moment, V is like a small boat swaying in a storm, not knowing where the future path lies, and can only let the winds of fate push him towards the unknown distance.
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