I was once too stubborn, mistakenly believing that my mother-in-law's cold words were a sign of her expectations for me. Deng Xiaomei was hoping for the grandson she wanted, and her sarcastic remarks were merely... belittling me.
Aside from wallowing in self-pity, I wanted to prove myself. As long as I got pregnant soon, I would still be Wang Xu's legitimate wife, and my mother-in-law wouldn't look down on me for the child's sake. She could only blame Wang Xu for his misstep; I needed to make Wang Xu come back.
I couldn't give up at the last moment; I couldn't lose.
After tidying up, I returned to my room when Wang Xu suddenly stood in front of me, lowering his voice to ask, "Why are you bringing this up again?"
My mother-in-law was still in the living room watching TV. Perhaps afraid of being overheard, Wang Xu grabbed my wrist and led me to the balcony, his expression not looking good.
"What's wrong? Wang Xu, I want to have a child with you. Isn't that right?"
"Of course not. Having a child is something that takes time. What's the rush? Besides, all those so-called village doctors are frauds; you shouldn't believe in superstitions."
Wang Xu seemed to want to reason with me emotionally, but I wasn't convinced: "If we can't believe in superstitions, then what about science? I've been to the hospital so many times without finding a cause. What can I do? If a dead horse can be treated as a live one, I have to go check it out this time."
"Fine, if you want to go, go by yourself. I'm not going." Wang Xu was too lazy to argue with me further; he turned around and walked away, sitting at the computer to play games, acting as if it had nothing to do with him.
The indifference in Wang Xu's back was extreme; I couldn't even seize the opportunity to fight for what I wanted. I clung tightly to what I thought was happiness, which belonged to both of us, but now it felt like I was the only one holding on and trying.
A couple of days later, Mu Miaomiao called me and told me to get ready. I needed to report to Luming Company at nine o'clock on Monday morning; she had already reserved a position for me and suggested we have dinner later to thank them.
Speaking of this job, I was reluctant to go. I had only met Lu Ming twice, and that time had been quite embarrassing. If Lu Ming didn't hate me, I would be grateful beyond measure.
Mu Miaomiao is more excited than I am, and I don't want to go against her wishes, so I'll give it a try. Work is all about mutual selection; even though I seem resistant, Lu Ming might feel the same way. I should be prepared for the possibility of being fired soon.
When I got home that evening, I brought this up with Wang Xu. He seemed happy about my return to work, as if he preferred seeing me working over having children.
“Wang Xu, if I start working, will it delay having kids? Or…”
“Look at you, Zhuang Jun. When is there ever a perfect time to have kids? Don't let a few words from Mom affect you; there's plenty of time, and children will come eventually. Focus on your job first, enrich your life, and stop staying home all day thinking about things. Go out and see the world.”
Regarding children, Wang Xu gave me the same answer. With his mother pressuring us so much, it's surprising that Wang Xu, who usually listens to her, would push back on this issue. Does he really dislike children that much?
I realized that Wang Xu and I are gradually drifting apart in our life goals. I just want our love to blossom and bear fruit, while he seems content to drift through life. If this continues, will our lives turn into a farce? I'm truly starting to lose the answer.
Perhaps I should ask Wang Xu one more time; maybe marriage is just a matter of time and doesn't need to be rushed.
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