I was afraid of being late, so I hurriedly left home and hailed a taxi. Not long after getting into the car, we got stuck in traffic. I had planned to leave a bit earlier each day to avoid the rush hour, but I didn't expect things to escalate so quickly with Wang Xu.
Perhaps it was due to not sleeping all night and crying for too long; my face looked terrible. While we were still stuck in traffic, the driver suddenly started chatting with me casually.
He went on and on, trying to tell me to take it easy, that there are no obstacles in life that can't be overcome, and as long as one is alive, life must go on.
To me, the driver was just a stranger passing by. He knew nothing about all the unpleasant things that had happened to me recently, yet with just a few simple words, he managed to draw out all the grievances I had inside.
My mother-in-law wanted a grandchild, and because I couldn't provide one, she felt wronged. Wang Xu was caught between me and my mother-in-law, and he felt wronged too. Deng Xiaomei suddenly became inexplicably pregnant, and she felt wronged as well. Was what Wang Xu said about Miao Miao true?
And what about me? I was considering everyone else, but who thought about me? Everything happening around me left me feeling lost. Wang Xu wanted me to forgive him, to understand my mother-in-law, to face the reality of Deng Xiaomei's existence openly, and to believe that Miao Miao was scheming against me. I feared I really couldn't handle it; I wasn't that strong. Why should I endure all this when I asked for so little? What did I do wrong?
Life must go on, but right now, my days feel like a struggle.
The kind driver kept handing me tissues. I didn't dare wipe my eyes for fear of looking too swollen in front of my new colleagues. But as soon as I arrived at the office, the receptionist looked at me with a shocked expression. I managed to greet her awkwardly before heading to my desk.
I worried about scaring my colleagues while in the car, but it seemed my worries were unfounded; a night was enough for me to look unpresentable.
Not long after, through my peripheral vision, I saw Sister Lu walking over with a cup of water, leaning against the wall while observing me closely.
I tried to keep my head down as much as possible, unsure of what Sister Lu wanted. All I could do was focus on my work while feeling very anxious.
After a while, Sister Lu spoke up: "Xiao Jun, we have a routine meeting coming up in two days. Lu Zong will be here. Please organize the meeting content and make twenty copies ready without any mistakes. Do you understand?"
I nodded and said "hm," then Sister Lu left without mentioning my terrifying expression today. Perhaps I was overthinking; after all, others have enough to deal with in their own lives and wouldn't spare much thought for mine.
There were no sarcastic remarks or comforting words. I couldn't quite articulate the feelings inside me; perhaps I was still fantasizing about having someone to hold onto, allowing me to cry my heart out.
When it was time to leave work, I stayed behind to continue handling the tasks assigned by Sister Lu. I told Wang Xu that I would be going home, but how could I face going back? With my current state, there was no way to hide it from my dad. I couldn't go home; I had no place to return to.
Right now, I truly felt homeless.
As everyone else left the office one by one, I was nearly the last person remaining, slowly working through tasks that had ample time. I worked very slowly, afraid that if I finished too quickly, I'd be left with nothing to do.
I once thought my life was rich and full, believing I had everything, only to find myself suddenly stripped bare as if robbed overnight. I didn't believe my life would end like this, but I also didn't dare hope for things to get better.
I had turned my life into a torment.
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