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墨書 Inktalez
Lu Shuang looked at me, and feeling a bit guilty, I decided to stay and accompany Lu Shuang in the staff lounge while she did her homework. On the other end of the phone, Dong Lu heard about this and told me to stay with Lu Shuang until Lu Ming arrived, then added that it was a hassle.
It wasn't much of a hassle; Lu Shuang was very well-behaved, leaning over the table doing her homework. Whenever she had a question, she would ask me a couple of things. I thought that at least Lu Ming hadn't let Lu Shuang stray into being a troublesome child, which counted as being half a successful father.
Perhaps in ways I couldn't see, Lu Ming was doing quite well.
Little did I know that just as I praised him in my heart, he still hadn't shown up by eight o'clock. I was feeling a bit hungry and figured Lu Shuang must be hungry too, but Lu Ming still hadn't arrived. What was going on?
I made a phone call and explained the situation. Lu Ming sounded like he had just remembered and said he would come right away. In less than half an hour, he rushed in, looking quite worn out.
By then, Lu Shuang had finished her homework and was drawing on a blank page. When she saw Lu Ming, she glanced up at him, slowly closed her notebook, and put it into her backpack without showing much happiness or displeasure.
This kind of emotion from a daughter towards her father was quite strange. Meanwhile, Lu Ming walked over and picked up Lu Shuang's small backpack, which had some odd drawings on it.
"Are you hungry? What do you want to eat?" Lu Ming asked, looking at Lu Shuang, then glancing at me, making it hard not to think that he was asking me too.
Lu Shuang tilted her little head and thought for a moment.
"KFC."
"Okay." Lu Ming nodded, took Lu Shuang's small hand to leave, and glanced at me again. "Let's go."
I called out to him, "Wait."
"What happened?"
"Are you really taking her to KFC? KFC isn't nutritious; let's eat something else."
I knew I was meddling, after all, Lu Ming is Lu Shuang's father, and it has nothing to do with me. I understand that other people's children are their own responsibility. Perhaps I was just too idle, and the way Lu Shuang looked at me came to mind.
After hearing my words, Lu Ming rarely seemed to contemplate. After a moment, he looked down at Lu Shuang and said, "Don't eat this; let's change to something else."
Lu Shuang didn't get upset about my interference. She quietly thought for a moment, then replied, "How about McDonald's?"
Lu Ming said, "Alright, let's go."
"Wait!" The sight of this father-daughter duo truly amused me. Reflecting on it, this seemed to be the funniest thing I've encountered in a while. At that moment, I realized I hadn't genuinely laughed in a long time.
Not even once.
Was this man in front of me, who seemed so clueless about life, really the Lu Ming I knew?
"There's a Chinese restaurant downstairs that serves pretty good food. We can get some fried chicken wings from KFC to take out, but you can only have one; eating too many isn't good for digestion and absorption."
After I finished speaking, Lu Ming didn't argue, nor did Lu Shuang. I took the lead and brought them to the Chinese restaurant, ordering a few dishes that were easy for children to digest.
It's funny; I had already prepared myself to be a mother and had done my homework about children, yet I hadn't done anything for my own child.
I am not qualified.
The matter of having children has become my greatest taboo, like a cage that confines me. I do not want to desperately cling to Wang Xu; rather, my subconscious is clear that if it truly is my problem, if I can never have children in my lifetime, then if I divorce Wang Xu, I will not find another partner.
I cannot comfortably convince myself that it is not my fault. I fear that a second marriage would also end in divorce.
I am afraid of experiencing such a terrifying cycle again; I do not have such a strong heart.
"Auntie, why are you crying?" Lu Shuang asked.
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