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墨書 Inktalez
Now, they are making me anxious about my emotions and decisions. My mother-in-law, with tears in her eyes, keeps pulling at me and murmuring in my ear.
"What’s going on? What’s going on? Can’t we talk nicely? Why do you always bring up the child? You must not let it affect my grandson, please don’t!"
My mother-in-law pats her thigh with her palm, sighing repeatedly, occasionally raising her hand to wipe her tears. I worry that they might disturb my mother’s rest, so I furrow my brows and interrupt them: "Enough! I’ve said what I needed to say. The child is also my flesh and blood; I definitely wouldn’t want to get rid of it. But if you continue to avoid me like this, once the child is born, I will make sure it knows it only has one mother and grandparents. As for the father, that title belongs to someone else’s child now."
"Wife!" Wang Xu exclaimed anxiously. "What are you talking about? I’ve already promised you. Alright, I solemnly assure you again: I will give you what you want, but you have to give me some time. Once I sort things out, I’ll bring you home, okay?"
My mother-in-law nodded in agreement: "Yes, yes, give my son some time. Just wait a bit; you need to take care of yourself. Make sure to eat what you've bought; remember to replenish your nutrition and see the doctor more often. Don’t talk nonsense about getting rid of the child; my grandson is innocent!"
"Innocent? So what have I done wrong to deserve this retribution? I’ve said it before; I want to keep the child because it is my flesh and blood. If you keep this up, I can’t guarantee that everything won’t end in ruin! You are disappointing me too much, Wang Xu."
I forced a pained expression onto my face, wanting Wang Xu to regret his doubts about me. Seeing his anxious and pale face made me feel no better inside.
I know this is a form of retaliatory deception, but Wang Xu doesn’t know that; neither does my mother-in-law. So this is my unilateral betrayal; it’s a living exploitation of him.
Is it malicious? Of course it is. Do I regret it? Not at all.
"I was really wrong, wife! I swear, I swear I will never say such things again or doubt you again. Forgive me; I was just confused for a moment."
Wang Xu sincerely apologized while I looked on coldly without letting it affect me.
I remained silent as my mother-in-law hurriedly tried to mediate: "Alright, alright, this is just a misunderstanding; let’s move past it. Don’t bring it up again; we’re all family now!"
Speaking of family is laughable. Before this moment and even now, my mother-in-law has never truly regarded me as family. In her eyes, aside from Wang Xu and his child, who else could she possibly accommodate? I once foolishly dreamed of being part of that.
Now it’s clear how absurd that thought was.
"Alright, Mom, we won’t argue anymore. Don’t be anxious; Zhuang Jun was just saying things out of anger. She’ll forget soon enough; it’s nothing," Wang Xu added reassuringly to his mother.
After watching their exchange, I finally issued an eviction notice: "Let’s leave it at that. If there’s nothing else, you can head back now. I’d like some quiet time for lunch. If you want to stay longer, then go ahead; I'm not eating anymore."
"You can’t skip meals at a time like this! Fine, we’ll head back for now. We left the food here; remember to eat well. If you need anything else, just let us know—we’ll buy more."
I scoffed lightly: "I can buy it myself. There’s no need for unnecessary visits when there’s nothing going on. I need more time to rest; I'm quite tired right now. Please leave."
The mother-in-law hesitated to speak, but was pulled by Wang Xu's arm, which stopped her from saying anything.
Wang Xu pointed to the kitchen and reminded, "Those dishes were specially prepared by Mom. You must eat them; they are good for your health and very nutritious. They won't do any good just sitting there. You need to replenish your nutrition."
I rolled my eyes and didn’t respond to Wang Xu, who felt awkward and didn’t bring it up again.
Eventually, Wang Xu and the mother-in-law left. As they were leaving, the mother-in-law looked back at me several times with a reluctant expression. It was only when Wang Xu tugged at her sleeve that she finally stopped looking back, and Shuangshuang left.
With the sound of the door opening and closing, the house finally fell silent. I stood in the living room, feeling drained, and let out a long sigh. Facing Wang Xu and the mother-in-law had felt like a life-and-death struggle, a game of wits.
In the end, I narrowly won with a slim advantage; my palms and back were drenched in cold sweat. I had managed to get through it after all.
I slumped on the sofa for a while until I regained enough strength to stand up. I walked to my mom's room, knocked on the door, and went in. I saw her sitting on the edge of the bed with her back to me, gazing out the window. Seeing her weary silhouette made my heart ache.
"Mom."
I called out to her, but she didn’t respond.
I walked over and sat beside her, looking at her aging profile with a heavy heart. "Mom, I'm sorry."
The people I felt sorry for in this situation were only my parents and Miao Miao. I doubted Miao Miao's friendship and let down my parents' expectations.
"You decide what to do about your own matters."
She didn’t say anything more and continued to stare out the window. I felt a pang of sadness and quietly took her arm, lowering my voice as if I were a child who had done something wrong.
"Mom, I was wrong. I'm sorry. Really sorry."
After my dad came home, I honestly told him what had happened. His expression grew darker as he listened, and in the end, he didn’t say a word—his attitude was just like my mom's. Perhaps he was truly disappointed in me; he couldn’t even bring himself to scold me.
"Dad, if you want to scold me, go ahead. I know I did wrong and disappointed you both, but I don’t regret it. If given the choice again, I would have chosen to think of this sooner so that I wouldn’t have suffered so much along the way."
This was the truth that came from my heart. Since I had decided not to hide anything anymore, I wanted to express what was on my mind. My heart was heavy with pain, and tears filled my eyes; I just didn’t want the culprit behind my suffering to still be enjoying themselves while I was in anguish.
"You young people get married only when you like each other. Can't you just talk things out when conflicts arise?" My dad slammed his chopsticks down, his face turning a deep shade of anger.
"I can't, Dad, I really can't."
It's true that I can't. I've tried hard to salvage things, but in the end, my parents, like most people who know about this, stand on their high ground and think my retaliation is excessive and unreasonable.
But why have I become this way? Why can't they consider my feelings?
"Alright, alright, let's eat. We've said what we needed to say. Zhuang Jun is not a child anymore; he knows what to do. Let's eat, and don't talk while eating."
In the end, my mom felt sorry for me being scolded by my dad and stepped in to ease the tension at the dinner table. Perhaps my dad was too disappointed in me and didn't say anything more. I found it hard to swallow my food during this meal; after taking a few bites, I put down my bowl and chopsticks, saying I was full.
As usual, I recounted everything that had happened to Miao Miao. On the other end of the line, Miao Miao kept gasping in disbelief; it was clear how shocked she was.
"So much has happened while I wasn't there? Zhuang Jun, can you really handle this?"
"What can I do if I can't? I'm gritting my teeth and pushing through. This is the path I've chosen; there's no other way for me now, Miao Miao, you know that."
"I understand, I really do. But you need to take care of yourself too; don't let this get to you. Forget about Wang Xu; even your mother-in-law is enough to drive anyone crazy. Do you still have your medication? You must keep taking it."
The medication Miao Miao mentioned was prescribed by Gu Xiang to control my depression. I know I'm relying on it now, and Miao Miao is worried that today's events might worsen my condition. I'm aware of my own health; it's just like that.
"I'm fine; don't worry about me."
"How can I not worry about you? To be honest, Zhuang Jun, I think you've changed."
"Oh really? I think so too."
"I can't quite put my finger on how you've changed; all I know is you're different from the old you. But I understand—something this big would affect anyone. Wang Xu is indeed infuriating, but I hope you won't let him affect you too much. I want you to be okay."
Miao Miao's concern is exactly what I've been wanting to hear. Yet here I am, having gradually transformed through this process. Although the changes aren't profound, they are significant.
I know all this, but I'm powerless to change it.
"I understand, don't worry."
Then we talked about work. Miao Miao said suspiciously, "I don't know what's going on with Zhang Ju. He clearly agreed, and he's not someone who goes back on his word. For the past few days, he either doesn't answer my calls or says he's too busy to meet. I've tried several times to set something up; maybe I should push him a bit more."
"No need," I declined Miao Miao's kind offer. I could roughly guess why Zhang Ju was hesitant. I understood this situation: "I already told Wang Xu about my pregnancy. If I go to work in front of him, he'll definitely start doubting things again. Right now, I can only take it one step at a time. The priority is to ensure he doesn't have any doubts about the baby."
"Oh, I see. Well, think it over. If Zhang Ju isn't available, there are other places you can consider. It's a bit of a hassle, but it shouldn't make you suffer too much. Just remember to keep me updated on everything so I can help you out. Don't overthink things alone; I'm here for you."
Miao Miao's words always warmed my heart. I could feel her genuine desire to help and her consideration for my position. My parents were more confused by my reckless actions, but Miao Miao understood.
What I was about to do was nothing compared to everything Wang Xu had done to me in the past.
I couldn't repay evil with kindness; I wasn't that noble.
"Just know, Zhuang Jun, that no matter what, I'm on your side supporting you. I believe you'll ultimately make the right choice in the end. It just needs a bit more time, and I'll be here with you, okay?"
"Yeah, I know."
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