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墨書 Inktalez
I can only take things one step at a time. Now that the initiative is in my hands, I still can't feel much joy. The idea of being pregnant is just a pretense; I can use the excuse of wearing loose clothes to say I'm expecting. But in three or four months, if I still say that, it would be very inappropriate.
So I need to successfully divorce Wang Xu in the next two or three months and reclaim the house under Deng Xiaomei's name. I only want to exert a little revenge, nothing more.
"To be honest, it's quite difficult right now. Don't think it's easy; you have leverage in your hands, and there's not much time to waste, Zhuang Jun. Have you really thought this through?"
I shook my head. "No, I haven't figured out what to do at all. It's like being caught between a wolf and a tiger."
Wang Xu's mother-in-law and Deng Xiaomei are not easy characters to deal with. I can only endure for now and wait until an opportunity arises.
Miao Miao hesitated several times before finally saying, "Why don't you really try contacting Lu Ming? I think he has the capability to handle these matters. Didn't he mention knowing Song Qi? He might know things we can't easily find out. You should really ask him; time is running out, and I mean no offense."
Since getting to know Lu Ming, things have been rocky, and nothing pleasant has happened between us. Now asking him for a result feels awkward; we aren't close, and there are old grievances. I really can't bring myself to do it; after all, this is my personal matter, and it's not as easy to bring up as I imagined.
"Alright, if you don't want to ask, then don't. Just think it over first. But you need to keep track of time; it won't be long before Wang Xu starts to suspect something. At that point, it will be hard to stop him. I'll try contacting a doctor to see if they can help with a false conclusion."
"Okay." I replied without any expectations or confidence. This kind of harsh effort might not even yield results; I just listened and moved on.
The next day, Miao Miao brought bad news: the doctor said it was impossible to cooperate because the matter was too significant and involved medical ethics.
I understood this completely; no one could force someone in that position to lie about my family issues—it would cause too much damage. If my mother-in-law found out, she might cause a scene at the hospital, which could affect the doctor.
Hearing the result of something I had little hope for didn't feel like disappointment, but there was still a sense of loss.
"Why don't we think of other methods? Zhuang Jun, consider how we can break through with your mother-in-law and Wang Xu. I'll think about Huang Zhang and Song Qi's side since the voice recorder is still with Huang Zhang. Who knows if he destroyed it? If it's still there, we might have a glimmer of hope."
I forced a smile and agreed, but deep down, I knew Miao Miao was just trying to comfort me. Huang Zhang isn't a hoarder or someone who keeps junk; that voice recorder could easily be discarded without a second thought. If it were still around, it would be nothing short of a miracle.
But now even successfully getting divorced feels like a miracle; the chances of it happening might be slightly better than I thought.
I was at home, idly keeping my mom company. In the morning, we went to the market to pick fresh fruits and vegetables, and I also chose some ingredients that are good for pregnancy, trying to avoid those that pregnant women shouldn't eat. The reason was simple: I was afraid Wang Xu would come by again to check on the food, and I didn't want him to get suspicious.
The carefulness of Wang Xu and the cleverness of Deng Xiaomei made me feel anxious; perhaps they really were a perfect match. I just happened to meet Wang Xu at the wrong time and place.
In truth, I wasn't suited for him, nor he for me.
“Zhuang Jun, Zhuang Jun, what are you thinking about?”
My mom called out to me twice from beside me.
“I’m not thinking about anything, Mom. What’s up?”
“Well, I just asked you how you want to spend the New Year. Are you coming back to our hometown with us or what? You need to tell me so we can make arrangements.”
“The New Year…”
Going back home was a good option; it should help me avoid Wang Xu for a while. But I was worried he might follow us there. It would be awkward if the couple ended up sleeping in separate rooms in front of relatives. I didn’t want to invite any gossip, but spending too much time in the same room with him made me uncomfortable.
I didn’t agree immediately and just casually said I would think about it before the New Year since there was still some time left.
Wang Xu happened to come over in the afternoon, carrying bags of things. Now when my mom saw Wang Xu arrive, she would take the initiative to say she wanted to go out for a walk. I said a few words about being careful and didn’t want my mom to stay home worrying.
My parents were honest people without any tricks up their sleeves; they couldn’t act. They usually spoke plainly, and if my mom stayed too long, it would raise Wang Xu’s suspicions, which was something I worried about.
“Dear, since the New Year is coming soon, think about where you want to go. I can take your parents out for a bit. If there’s anything we need to prepare, we can do it in advance. If we’re going abroad, we’ll need visas too. By the way, do your parents have their passports? We might as well get those sorted out together.”
I glanced at him lightly; I had expected Wang Xu would bring up the New Year plans.
"No need, my parents said they plan to go back to their hometown."
"Back to your hometown? That's fine, but my mom..." He hesitated, "How about I ask my parents tonight? Let's not go back this year. We haven't traveled much; it would be nice to get some fresh air and the environment outside is good for our health."
As he spoke, he reached for my stomach, but I swatted his hand away mid-air, feeling a bit stifled inside. "No, my parents mean they want to go back. Let's just spend this year like this."
"What? How can we spend it like that? Going back with your parents? What about my mom? She’s all alone; we have to take care of her. It’s not easy for her to go to your hometown. She’s quite stubborn. I’ll talk to her; if she agrees, then we can go back this year."
Seeing that he seemed not to understand my point, I quickly corrected him: "What I mean is to spend it separately. You do your thing, and we do ours. Two different matters."
Wang Xu immediately opposed, his eyes wide open and his face showing disbelief. "How can that be? This is New Year’s; it’s not like playing house. We can’t spend it separately. It’s a family reunion day; separating like this is ridiculous. What will our relatives and friends say?"
What Wang Xu said was also what I had worried about the most. My parents are simple and kind-hearted; they wouldn’t want to lose face during the New Year celebrations. I didn’t want to be the source of their embarrassment either. I had been enduring and accommodating, but now it seemed impossible to turn back; we could only move forward.
Even though ahead of me were countless relatives watching me being ridiculed for not being able to have children and being abandoned by my husband, this was an undeniable fact, especially in rural areas where people are narrow-minded. Even though the issue had never been identified as mine or Wang Xu's, their first reaction would definitely be that it couldn’t possibly have nothing to do with me.
They would surely place the blame on me right away.
"I’ve already said it; it’s better for two people to spend some time apart. It’s New Year’s now, and I don’t want to argue with you. Let’s talk after the holiday. When relatives ask, just say I went back with my parents; isn’t that the same? Why can’t we do that?"
"Of course we can't! That would mean separating our families! The relatives at home will think there must be some conflict between us. This clearly invites gossip from them. If you really want a good New Year, either celebrate at home or go directly to my mom's place where there are more relatives who can take care of you."
"Your family has many relatives; mine has quite a few too. My parents will take good care of me; it doesn’t matter. Anyway, I don’t necessarily have to go over there or I could just stay home for some peace and quiet. We can discuss it later."
My parents wanted to go home for the New Year, and Wang Xu definitely couldn’t follow them. Once we got back to their hometown, there would be even more gossip. If they heard Wang Xu mention my pregnancy, it would complicate things further.
But I also didn’t want to go back with his mom; that would only lead me into trouble if something happened there. Being discovered about the fake pregnancy would be quite disastrous as well. After weighing everything, I realized I had to stay behind.
If Wang Xu and his mother could directly return to their hometown as I wished, it would be quite a joy. However, with the festival approaching, such a possibility is slim, and I can only silently hope in my heart.
It's really not the right time, especially with the Spring Festival coming up. With so many people around, I'm genuinely worried that I won't be able to keep it under wraps. The fewer people who know, the better.
Wang Xu has been talking beside me for a long time, mainly insisting that I must stick with him and his mother no matter where we go. I interrupted him, feeling annoyed.
"You just said you wanted to take my parents on a trip to take care of them. Now listen to what you're saying; you're only considering your mother's feelings. Have you thought about how my parents want to celebrate the New Year with me too?"
"Yes, yes, I know that. That's why I'm trying to persuade my mom to spend the New Year with your family. Just give me some time. Besides, there's a good chance my mom will agree. Don't worry; this year our family will have a great New Year together!"
Wang Xu was full of confidence, but I felt quite disheartened. His confidence stemmed from knowing that his mother would likely compromise and go to my parents' place because of the imaginary child in my belly. In previous years, such a thing would have been impossible.
According to his mother, it would be improper to celebrate the New Year at the woman's family home.
Indeed, having "goods" in my belly changed everything. I could gradually feel the treatment that Deng Xiaomei once received, being cherished in someone's hands. Even if it were just one-tenth of that, at least I felt a kind of care that I had never experienced before.
Thinking about it, part of my anger towards Deng Xiaomei stemmed from jealousy. I envied her for having a child and taking away everything I should have had; she enjoyed what was rightfully mine and became different because of the child.
I don't know if she is lucky or if I am pitiful.
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