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墨書 Inktalez
Early the next morning, before seven o'clock, my mom tiptoed into my room. I pretended to be asleep with my eyes closed. After she observed me for a moment, she left. Half an hour later, she came back in and woke me up, mentioning that we needed to go to the hospital because my dad was waiting outside.
After getting out of bed and quickly washing up, I didn't bother with makeup. When I stepped out of my room, my parents looked at me, still adjusting to the situation. My dad waved his hand, urging me to hurry and eat breakfast.
Before eight o'clock, we took a car to the hospital. The doctor hadn't arrived yet, so we had to sit on the benches in front of the registration area and wait. There were already some patients ahead of us, most of whom were diabetes patients who had gotten up early for just a hundred appointments a day. None of them seemed to be there for insomnia issues requiring neurology consultations.
My dad was worried and told my mom and me to sit tight while he went to stand in line. Watching him stand among the crowd, looking tense, made my heart ache.
"Mom, I'm sorry," I whispered apologetically. They had worried so much because of me. I knew I was lying in front of my mother-in-law and Wang Xu, and they were only advising me behind my back to protect my pride and dignity.
"Zhuang Jun, you're our child. How could you not tell us about such a big issue? No matter what else you want to do, you can't let your health deteriorate first. You know, last night when I thought about you being in the same situation as that person I heard about, I couldn't sleep well at all."
My emotions were too complicated; I really didn't know what to do.
Once it was eight o'clock and the office hours began, the crowd in front started to thin out. My dad slowly moved forward with the line, holding the registration slip while looking at it. He used to be a towering figure in my life; now he stood among ordinary people for my sake.
"There's a specialist on the second floor; let's go now," my mom said as she pulled me up to head upstairs. Since we were first in line, we were quickly taken into the doctor's office by a nurse. As soon as I sat down, the doctor asked about my condition, and I told him the truth while he typed on his computer.
"Let's get a CT scan first; it might be related to brain function," the doctor said expressionlessly.
"Doctor, could it be depression? My daughter is in this condition," my mom quickly asked with concern.
"We can't guarantee that; we'll need the report results to confirm anything. For now, please go downstairs to pay," the doctor replied as he handed me the consultation card. The three of us began running around again while waiting for blood tests and CT scan results.
The waiting time became unbearable. As I watched people passing by, I thought about how we were just ignorant individuals among them; our health depended solely on waiting and listening to what the doctor would say.
"It'll be fine; it'll be fine," my mom said more nervously than I was. She trembled slightly and held onto my hand, which felt colder than mine.
I wanted to tell her not to worry and that I was fine, but those comforting words just wouldn't come out.
After waiting for a while, we walked upstairs. The entrance to the doctor's office was already crowded with many patients. When they saw us approaching, they mechanically looked up at us for a moment before lowering their heads again.
I wanted to walk straight in, but someone called out to me, saying I needed to take a number. I explained that I had come before just to check a report, but there were still dissatisfied murmurs from the crowd: "You still have to wait for those who took numbers to come out before you can go in. Do you understand the rules?"
To avoid unnecessary disputes, we had no choice but to continue waiting at the door. After a long wait, when the previous patient finally came out, we went in and handed the report to the doctor, waiting for him to say something.
"This situation is not very optimistic. I'll prescribe some medication for you to take home. Pay attention to a light diet and maintain a good mood. Come back in a week for a follow-up check."
The doctor set down the report and began typing rapidly on the keyboard while mentioning some professional terms. My parents and I exchanged glances, feeling lost with so much we didn't understand, and when we asked questions, the doctor seemed impatient.
"Just take the medication and see if it works. You'll need to come back for another check-up to decide what to do next. Got it? Next patient."
With no intention of further explanation, another patient was called in, so we had no choice but to leave. At that moment, I thought of Gu Xiang, who was always patient and gentle. I had troubled him before, and if there was no improvement within this week, I wanted to consult Gu Xiang again.
After coming out, my mood felt heavy. My mom couldn't help but grumble: "Why doesn't this doctor explain anything? Just tells us to take medication for a week without doing anything else. If the medication doesn't work, won't that week be wasted?"
"Hey, let's just listen to the doctor for now. We'll try the medication first; there's nothing else we can do if we don't understand," my dad sighed deeply, looking quite helpless.
Once outside the hospital, my dad said he would go to the market to buy some nourishing food for me and told my mom and me to head home first. He would bring back the items for my mom to prepare and asked me to come into his study because he wanted to talk.
"Zhuang Jun, whatever thoughts or plans you have, you must stop immediately. Don't think about anything else; just focus on taking care of your health, understood?"
Hearing my dad say this made me realize he genuinely cared about my well-being. I had heard similar words from my grandmother before, but my dad truly cared about my health while my grandmother only cared about what was inside me.
"Dad, I know how to handle things; please don't worry about me." I still wanted to argue my point.
"You know how to handle things? Look at your current situation! You didn't even tell us about this big issue; how long did you plan on hiding it from us? You've grown up now, but as your parents, do we not have the right to care about you?"
"That's not it," I explained. "I didn't want you both to worry too much about me; it's my fault for not being a good daughter. I'm sorry."
My father firmly insisted that I must cut off all ties with Wang Xu's family. He asked me how I could get a divorce from Wang Xu, and I told him that there was hope only after two years of separation or if Wang Xu agreed to it. However, the former option was clearly more feasible than the latter, and my father agreed.
"Two years will affect you quite a bit, but you cannot have any contact with them anymore. If they dare to come over again, I will skin Wang Xu alive!" My father said emphatically, clearly very angry.
I told him that neither Wang Xu nor my mother-in-law knew about this matter, and I didn't want them to find out. My father's anger flared up again at my words, and if my mother hadn't come in, we might have had a big argument.
"Alright, alright, why are you two about to start arguing? Old Wang, your daughter is already having trouble sleeping, and you're acting like this on purpose!" My mother was upset with my father's attitude.
In the end, this argument concluded without any resolution, but I knew that if my mother-in-law or Wang Xu showed up again, my father would definitely explode. At that point, it wouldn't just be about my depression; it would also involve the child in my belly.
At this moment, I really wanted to contact Miao Miao again to see what would happen, but recalling Lu Ming's earlier words made me hesitate.
The next day, I went back to work at the company and put on some makeup. My parents tried to stop me from going, but I explained that I wanted to distract myself, and they finally agreed.
When I arrived at the company entrance, I was in a hurry. Just as I stepped inside, I almost bumped into someone coming out. Looking up, I realized it was Lu Ming. His searching gaze fell on me, and I remembered how he didn't like women wearing makeup. Now he was still my boss; it wasn't worth provoking him or trying to avoid him.
In the end, Lu Ming said nothing and walked outside. Dong Lu called out to me as I was about to leave: "Zhuang Jun, you come with us."
"What?"
"Lu Zong and I are going on a business trip to meet a client. You can come along to learn and help out a bit. Is that inconvenient?" She looked me up and down.
"It's not inconvenient at all. Let's go."
I found it strange that Dong Lu didn't even ask Lu Ming before letting me tag along. But once I got in the car, Lu Ming also said nothing. I took the passenger seat while listening to Dong Lu explain the recent schedule to Lu Ming from the backseat.
This business trip was nearby in the city; we would go in the morning and return in the evening without any issues. I sent a text message to my father explaining the situation. He repeatedly reminded me to take care of myself, remember to take my medicine on time, and come home early in the evening.
Just as I promised him that, we hit traffic. The car moved slowly at less than forty miles per hour—stop and go—and as time passed like this, I started feeling carsick.
“Master Zhang, how is it? How long will this traffic situation affect us?” Dong Lu asked the driver next to me with some concern.
“It’s hard to say. If we aim for twelve o'clock, it might be difficult. Given the current situation, we probably won’t arrive until around three or four in the afternoon.”
“Is it going to take that long?” Dong Lu exclaimed. I turned back and caught a glimpse of her worried look at Lu Ming, her voice tightening: “Is there any other route Master Zhang can take? How could the road conditions be like this?”
“We're already on the highway; this is the only way. With the holiday almost over, everyone is returning home, so how could the traffic not be congested? The best time to travel would be late at night when it's less crowded; at any other time, it’s bound to be like this.”
“Then Lu Zong…”
“Call and reschedule.”
“Yes, Lu Zong.”
Master Zhang's words made Dong Lu's expression grow increasingly grim. I didn’t want to add to her frustration at that moment, so I kept my gaze fixed ahead. I thought that Dong Lu's displeasure seemed to stem from her lack of timely information leading to this delay in plans, which was unacceptable in her style of doing things.
I heard Dong Lu making a phone call behind me. I closed my eyes, feeling increasingly dizzy with the stop-and-go traffic. Coupled with my constant fatigue from not sleeping well, I struggled several times but ultimately couldn't hold it in anymore. I quickly rolled down the window and began to vomit outside.
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