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The call from Lu Ming's Ex-Wife left me in a cold sweat, and I tightened my grip on the phone.
She mentioned tonight's events as casually as if we were just chatting about everyday life, leaving my brain a bit short-circuited and unable to process everything.
"Not bad."
"That's good. It was right for me to pick up Little Shuang. I won't disturb your rest any longer. Good night." Lu Ming's Ex-Wife hung up as abruptly as she had called, and I found myself at a loss for what she really meant.
Miao Miao, having heard the conversation, couldn't help but exclaim, "That's impressive! She acts so straightforwardly in everything she does. I think if she really plans to mess with you later, she'll let you know with great fanfare."
Indeed, being delivered such a sentence felt quite uncomfortable, akin to being handed a death sentence. However, since she had helped me out, I found it hard to refuse her.
After returning home to grab some clothes, I told my parents that I would be staying at Miao Miao's for a while. During this trip back, I noticed the traditional Chinese medicine ingredients I had left in the corner of the closet and the expensive bags that Wang Xu had bought for me. It all looked rather ridiculous, and I couldn't help but pull at the corners of my mouth in self-mockery.
My mom came into the room and asked if something was wrong. I simply told her that I might be getting divorced from Wang Xu soon and not to worry. My mom seemed taken aback by this news and asked me repeatedly if it was true. I nodded, "It's true; it shouldn't take much longer."
Not much longer also meant relief for my anxious parents. If it weren't for them, I really wouldn't have been able to hold on. Just thinking about this gave me an extra boost of strength.
That's nice.
My mom seemed quite pleased as well. I advised her to keep her distance from Wang Xu if she encountered him since he wouldn't listen or respond to anything she said. She readily agreed, which satisfied me before I left for Miao Miao's house.
As I reached the stairway, I suddenly spotted a familiar car—one that Miao Miao often rode in. The passenger seat was one where I'd only seen her sitting alone.
I casually knocked on the car window, and Wang Nan looked up in surprise, raising an eyebrow at me and smiling. I opened the back door and got in.
"Long time no see, Zhuang Jun."
"What are you doing hanging around here? Have you been upstairs? Does Miao Miao know you're here?"
Wang Nan smiled wearily, "She doesn't know yet. I'm just passing by to take a look; I'll be leaving soon."
"Well, be careful on your way. You keep busy; I'll leave first."
I had just leaned halfway out of the car when Wang Nan suddenly called out to me, "Zhuang Jun, wait a moment."
I sat back in the car and listened as Wang Nan continued speaking.
"How is she doing now?"
"Pretty good."
"No problems, right? Is work going smoothly? Is there anyone bothering her?"
"No, everything's fine. Don't worry."
Wang Nan smiled, "Zhuang Jun, are you angry?"
I nodded, "Yes, I am angry."
He sighed, "I know."
"You know? Do you know how Miao Miao cries alone at night? Do you know she stayed up late studying in college thinking about how to be worthy of you? Do you know how she's been distracted these past few days while pretending that nothing is wrong? Wang Nan, you don't know any of this."
Speaking such heartfelt words, we leaned on each other as solid supports, yet in the end, we left spaces for each other on our life paths. This fleeting emotion can be exhausting after going through it for a while.
"So Zhuang Jun, what should I do?"
Just as I was about to explode with dissatisfaction towards Wang Nan, he suddenly asked me this question. For a moment, I didn't know how to respond.
Yes, what should I do?
Miao Miao, Wang Nan, and I are different from Wang Xu. In this matter, Wang Nan is passive.
"I thought my parents asking me to bring her home meant they accepted our relationship. I could see that Miao Miao was both happy and nervous. I even reassured her that since we had already met the parents, there wouldn't be any problems. Little did I know."
Little did I know, this was a banquet of treachery, and the only path laid out before Miao Miao was to sever ties with Wang Nan completely.
I composed myself: "I hope you, Wang Nan, if you cannot get your parents to accept Miao Miao, then you should focus on living your own life well. Miao Miao values her dignity; how can she face you and your family after your parents have hurt her so deeply? Don't you realize that Miao Miao has done so much for you, trying to empathize with your feelings in the most humble way? But look at what you think is peace; what has it brought you? Can't you see that your parents dislike Miao Miao? Can't you do enough homework to avoid everything that happened during the New Year?"
I knew I was a pitiful creature who couldn't even manage my own marriage, but my heart ached for Miao Miao, who shouldn't have to endure this. Unfortunately, fate can be cruel.
A marriage without parental blessing will not be happy. As someone who has been through it, I also do not recommend that Miao Miao endure such suffering just to be with Wang Nan.
"It was my negligence, but I don't want to give her up," Wang Nan's voice carried pain and determination.
I didn't know if it was his first day here; if one night Miao Miao or I could pull back the curtains and look outside, perhaps we would see a figure that wouldn't be discovered for the first time.
Wang Nan's actions before and now truly moved me; I couldn't harden my emotions any longer.
"Think about it yourself. I hope every decision you make from now on is based on certainty. Don't let Miao Miao down or hurt her again. Can you bear to see her treated like that?"
I knew Wang Nan couldn't bear it; he cherished Miao Miao in his hands. This time, the hurt would not only affect Miao Miao.
After getting out of Wang Nan's car, I returned to Miao Miao's house and told her everything I discussed with Wang Nan. It seemed Wang Nan understood the root of the problem, which is why he only observed from a distance without knocking on the door.
When I got back, I told Miao Miao about meeting Wang Nan. She wasn't as surprised as I imagined; instead, she smiled sweetly: "I knew."
"You knew? You knew he was waiting downstairs?"
"Yes," Miao Miao nodded. "If he didn't come, then my love for him would have been in vain."
Indeed, after so many years together, how could Wang Nan and Miao Miao not understand what each other might do next? Wang Nan would know that Miao Miao cried softly at night, and Miao Miao could imagine Wang Nan waiting downstairs.
"So what are you planning? Do you still want to be with Wang Nan?"
Miao Miao stirred the honey water in the cup and handed it to me with both hands.
"Zhuang Jun, I want to be good with him. I want to be good with him for a lifetime. I don’t want to go anywhere; I just want to stay by his side. I never thought there would be any third party between me and Wang Nan. What’s more terrifying than a change of heart is that we love each other but still can’t be together."
The honey water in my mouth suddenly felt more bittersweet because of Miao Miao's words. I didn’t know how to continue this topic with her. If I were in such a situation, I would feel even more lost about what to do.
For the past two days, Wang Xu had been sending me a text message every night, something he insisted on doing during our passionate days. The simple content just said "good night." Wang Xu once said he hoped that the last thing I did every night would be related to him.
Now that he suddenly resumed this habit, it felt different.
I didn’t reply to him at all, yet he persisted.
Miao Miao suggested that I should meet Wang Xu to see what was going on between them. I was most afraid of any changes from his mother’s side. Since I felt the same way, I took the initiative to contact Wang Xu. When I arrived at the meeting place, Wang Xu looked surprised, and his cup of water was already half empty.
When he saw me coming, he immediately stood up straight, looking very nervous and at a loss.
I calmly walked over and sat down. Today, I wore light makeup, showing some signs of fatigue. Wang Xu’s eyes were filled with concern: "Wife, you’ve lost weight."
I took the cup in front of Wang Xu and drank all the water in one go, wiping away the droplets that accidentally spilled from the corner of my mouth. Calmly and dispassionately, I replied to him.
"I lost some flesh; how could I not lose weight?"
A flash of dull pain appeared in Wang Xu's eyes. He bit his lip and took a deep breath; his eyes turned red.
"Wife…"
"Don’t call me that. I can’t keep staying by your side like this. If your mother doesn’t like me and wants to drive me away, just say it directly. I can give birth to our child myself; he is a life. Why not give him a chance to live?"
Wang Xu sniffed: "It’s not like that. My mom is confused; she really believes in that so-called miracle doctor. She is more eager than anyone for our child to be born; she didn’t mean it."
"Didn’t mean it? Just because I didn’t mean to kill you doesn’t mean we can die together now? Wang Xu, you can think that way, but I can’t. Her thoughts can’t change the fact that my child is dead. Have you seen his face? He haunts my dreams over and over again; don’t you feel heartbroken?"
The memories from that time come to mind in fragments, leaving only a lingering fear and a heart full of unease. I dare not think about it, but I cannot hide from myself; it is a bloody fact and truth.
"I know, it pains me and I feel for you. When I think of the suffering you've endured, it hurts me too. I wish I could be the one to suffer instead, at least that way you wouldn't have to feel this way. Seeing you like this breaks my heart."
Wang Xu spoke sincerely. I smiled but did not respond. Once he finished speaking, I asked him, "So, Wang Xu, when are we getting divorced?"
When will I be free? I cannot breathe easy until I hold that divorce certificate in my hands.
Wang Xu's expression turned serious: "Wife, can we hold on a little longer? Please?"
I shook my head: "No, how can I face your mother with that murderous look on her face? I can't bear to see it or swallow this anger. If you two came here right now, I wouldn't hesitate to confront her. I want to ask her if my child, Zhuang Jun's child, is worth less than Deng Xiaomei's?"
"That's not true! My mom knows that isn't my child; she doesn't care for it at all, really."
Wang Xu's attempts to persuade me were truly laughable.
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