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You Were Born a Nobleman, Chapter One High Priestess = Street Aunt?
Tang Zisu had been in Peacock Valley for over a month. Shu Que Wu Pan
In the morning, sunlight streamed through the old ebony window onto the blue flower-patterned quilt, but Tang Zisu remained stubbornly asleep, her face half-buried in her homemade cotton pillow, lightly snoring without a hint of grace.
Little Cook Softy shouted from the doorway, "The High Priestess is up! Hurry up! Fat Lady has been waiting for you all morning. If you don't get up soon, she'll break our chairs!"
Tang Zisu wiggled her little bottom and drooled on the pillow. "Senior Brother, help me take a day off; I don't want to go to class."
Softy was speechless. She couldn't understand what the High Priestess was saying. Ever since she recovered from her last serious illness, not only could she see again, but her personality had also changed drastically; she had become quite odd and whimsical!
Softy helplessly bit her finger. "Please, High Priestess, get up!"
Finally, Tang Zisu woke up and sighed dramatically, "Oh dear, how annoying! Fat Lady has come ten times this month. Is it my eyelid twitching or did I lose my embroidery needle today?"
Softy slapped Tang Zisu's little bottom disrespectfully. "Today she lost her reed chicken."
"What? Why is she looking for me if she lost her chicken? I'm not a weasel!" Tang Zisu buried her head deeper into the quilt, curling herself into a ball.
Softy reached out to pull back the quilt. "Come on, High Priestess, breakfast is ready! We have little meat buns with sweet rice wine and dried tofu with sour pickled beans. If you don't eat now, it'll get cold!"
Tang Zisu crawled out of bed, her messy hair tousled and her eyes bleary as she headed to the toilet to take care of business.
As she lifted her clothes, Tang Zisu's hand failed to grasp the cucumber. Damn it, I forgot again. I’ve crossed over to this godforsaken Peacock Valley and ended up in the body of a witch named Tang Zisu.
A little sparrow flew over her head, and as it perched, it dropped a poop right on her nose.
Tang Zisu bit down on her small corn-like teeth, making a crunching sound. "Damn it, am I being messed with?"
The little sparrow calmly looked up at the sky. "Serves you right; who told you to say we don’t poop?"
Sighing deeply, she lamented how unfair life was. Other women who crossed over became stunning beauties, either queens or princesses, surrounded by handsome men. Here I am, a guy turned into a witch, spending my days dealing with neighborhood gossip about whose chicken went missing or whose dog ran away. I don’t even have a little bird to play with and get bullied by one instead. This is just not scientific!
After venting her frustrations, Tang Zisu resigned herself to squatting down, looking like a lecherous uncle sneaking glances at a girl.
After finally getting rid of the Fat Lady, Tang Zisu sat yawning at a worn-out table that had turned white from alkaline water, staring gloomily at a bowl of vegetable noodle soup.
"Softy, where are the sweet meat buns and fermented tofu with pickled beans?"
Little Cook Softy instantly became defensive. "High Priestess, there are no sweet meat buns or fermented tofu with pickled beans. Didn’t you say you liked vegetable noodle soup?"
Tang Zisu sternly replied, "Softy, let me emphasize two things: first, don’t call me High Priestess; please call me Tang Zisu. Second, no matter how delicious a dish is, it shouldn’t appear on the table for seven consecutive days."
Softy’s round and white face looked worried like a sticky rice cake. "Oh, I understand now, High Priestess."
Tang Zisu sighed in exasperation, "Emma, with this level of intelligence, it's quite frustrating."
Softy looked up with teary eyes and asked, "Priestess, I mean, Zi-Su, what do you want to eat?"
Seeing Softy's pitiful expression, Tang Zisu thought to herself that as a man, she shouldn't be petty with a young girl. After some contemplation, she suggested, "How about we make mushroom meat sauce noodles?"
Softy's eyes lit up. "How do we make it? Teach me, quickly! I want to learn."
"Well, sure! Softy, let me tell you..."
Tang Zisu was a foodie, and Softy was determined to become a great chef. They hit it off perfectly and set off early in the morning to pick mushrooms at Peacock Mountain.
Peacock Mountain stretched majestically across the southwestern part of Peacock Valley, with dense forests and occasional wild beasts lurking within.
Hunters and villagers usually traveled in groups into the mountains, while a duo like Tang Zisu and Softy could only wander around the edges of the forest.
Tang Zisu used a stick to part the thick grass ahead and indeed discovered a cluster of tender mushrooms. She shouted excitedly, "Softy, I found them!" After calling out for a while and nearly losing her voice, she realized that Softy hadn't responded at all.
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