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Chapter 145: The Final Chapter 5
After leaving the cemetery, Junxi and Zhou Xuanyu said their goodbyes to Jia Man's family.
Jia Man's parents embraced Zhou Xuanyu, then turned to hug Junxi. Jia Man's mother whispered in Junxi's ear as she held her close, "For these past five years, I have regarded Xuan Yu as my own son. Now that I have lost a daughter, I hope my son can find happiness. Please take good care of him."
Junxi returned the embrace, nodding solemnly.
"I will," she replied.
Jia Man looked a bit forlorn as she gazed at Zhou Xuanyu. He walked over and patted her shoulder, speaking to her like an older brother, "Take good care of your parents. I'll come to visit when I have time."
"Don't come," Jia Man shook her head. "Don't come back. I won't miss you."
As soon as she finished saying this, tears began to flow.
Zhou Xuanyu, however, smiled.
This was farewell—filled with both tears and laughter; how wonderful it was.
Junxi followed Zhou Xuanyu back to the hotel. Throughout the journey, she silently gazed out the window, her heart filled with countless emotions, yet she didn't know where to begin.
"What did Jia Man say to you?" Zhou Xuanyu finally couldn't help but ask, noticing her contemplative expression.
"Just some small talk."
"Small talk that leads to such heavy feelings?"
"I don't have any feelings to speak of."
"There's always something." He took her hand and placed it on his knee, gently pressing it down before asking again, "What did she really say?"
"Really nothing," Junxi smiled at Zhou Xuanyu and then looked out the car window. "I was just thinking about one question."
"What is it?" he pressed on.
She paused for a moment before answering, "When exactly did you start liking me?"
Zhou Xuanyu was taken aback for a moment. He released Junxi's hand and subtly turned his gaze away.
"Why are you suddenly asking this?"
"Isn't it important? I've been following you for so long, yet you've never said you liked me." Junxi wrapped her arm around Zhou Xuanyu's, half-forcing him to turn his head to look at her.
Zhou Xuanyu still said nothing.
"Come on, say something!" Junxi began to pout.
The taxi driver glanced at them through the rearview mirror, a light smile appearing on his face.
Zhou Xuanyu found himself at a loss with her. He raised his hand and ruffled Junxi's hair.
"Long ago," he replied.
Junxi shot him a glare; this answer clearly skirted the issue.
"How long is 'long ago'?"
"Long enough that you wouldn't believe it."
Zhou Xuanyu looked seriously into Junxi's eyes.
Junxi displayed an incredulous expression, clearly not convinced. Zhou Xuanyu didn’t elaborate further, as it was no surprise that she found it hard to believe.
Once upon a time, even he had trouble believing it himself.
Lin Jingming was the first to notice. When she casually mentioned this thought to Zhou Xuanyu, he ended up having a big argument with her over it.
That year, Junxi was sixteen.
Zhou Xuanyu and Lin Jingming were at the Zhou Family Mansion for dinner. Before they had even taken their seats, they heard the sound of a child crying from next door at the Wen Family. Zhou Xuanyu hesitated when Zhou Ziyan laughed and said, "It must be Junxi who made her brother cry again."
"Do they always argue?" Zhou Xuanyu asked.
"Not really. It's just that Uncle Wen clearly favors Jun Xuan a bit more, which always annoys Junxi, so she deliberately picks on her brother Jun Xuan."
In the midst of their conversation, Jun Xuan's cries grew louder.
Dinner was about to be served, but Zhou Xuanyu couldn't sit still any longer.
"I'm going to check on Junxi," he said as he headed outside. Lin Jingming pulled him back. Everyone else urged him that it was nothing serious for kids to be noisy and asked him to come back quickly, but Zhou Xuanyu ignored them all.
Suddenly, Zhou Ziyan shouted, "Uncle, you're mistaken. It's Jun Xuan who's crying; why are you going to see Junxi?"
His steps slowed slightly but did not stop.
Inside the Wen Residence, it was indeed Jun Xuan who was crying. It turned out that while Junxi was studying in the study, Jun Xuan had been making a racket and accidentally broke one of Wen Wei's trophies.
When Wen Wei returned home, he didn't say much about his son's mischief but scolded Junxi for not keeping an eye on her brother. Feeling wronged, Junxi argued with her father. In the midst of this, little Jun Xuan felt guilty for upsetting his sister and began to cry.
When Zhou Xuanyu entered, Junxi was no longer in the living room; she was sulking in the study.
He went upstairs to find her. She held a pen in her hand, scribbling angrily on a piece of paper. Upon hearing someone enter, she suddenly looked up.
Her long hair fell over her shoulders, and her eyes were misty and tear-streaked, completely defenseless—this sight struck Zhou Xuanyu's heart.
Once she recognized him, she immediately stood up and ran over. When she reached him, she stopped, pouted, and started crying.
Zhou Xuanyu stuffed his hands into his pockets and let her cry for a while before reaching out to gently touch her hair.
"Tell me what happened; what grievances are you holding in?"
With his gentle inquiry and encouragement, she became increasingly emotional.
That day, Junxi revealed many feelings she had kept bottled up to Zhou Xuanyu. She expressed that she didn't hate her brother; she just thought their father's indulgence was inappropriate.
Her perspective surprised Zhou Xuanyu.
In that moment, he suddenly felt that little Junxi had truly grown up.
Junxi was merely sulking a little, and Zhou Xuanyu had managed to soothe him with just a few words.
As they descended the stairs from the study, they spotted Lin Jingming, who had arrived at some point. She was sitting in the living room of Wen Residence, engaged in conversation with Junxi's mother.
"Teacher Lin," Junxi called out.
Just as she was about to rush down the stairs, Zhou Xuanyu grabbed her arm.
"Be careful. Why are you always so reckless?"
He scolded her naturally, as if she were a child.
However, Lin Jingming did not see it that way.
At sixteen, Wen Junxi was still a minor, but he was tall, talented, and strikingly handsome—far beyond what most kids his age could compare to.
Standing next to the dashing Zhou Xuanyu, it always felt a bit off.
Lin Jingming clearly understood that the discomfort stemmed from the mismatch between these two individuals.
Women often seek possibilities in the impossible; it’s like a self-inflicted worry, but in truth, it’s intuition at play.
On the way back, Zhou Xuanyu inadvertently expressed his admiration for Junxi. He asked Lin Jingming if she had noticed how much Junxi had matured lately.
He was referring to his character, but she misinterpreted it as something else.
Yet Lin Jingming was clever; she knew she couldn’t directly question Zhou Xuanyu. So she pretended to joke and asked him back, "What? Do you think Junxi is beautiful and have feelings for her?"
Zhou Xuanyu froze for a moment before his expression turned serious.
"What nonsense are you talking about?"
He raised his voice slightly, losing his composure.
Lin Jingming was momentarily taken aback but quickly regained her composure. She leaned over and patted Zhou Xuanyu on the back. "Why are you angry? I was just joking."
Zhou Xuanyu's expression did not soften. He warned Lin Jingming sternly, "Don’t let me hear such jokes again."
The more intense the reaction, the more suspicious it seemed.
However, at that time, Zhou Xuanyu truly rejected his feelings for Junxi from the bottom of his heart.
After all, he was twelve years older than Junxi. At that time, Junxi was only sixteen, while he was nearing thirty. In Zhou Xuanyu's eyes, developing feelings for someone who was still a minor felt sinful, ridiculous, and contrary to reason—something he could not allow himself to accept.
Despite his efforts to deny it, this matter remained like a thorn stuck between them. It didn't hurt when untouched, but the absence of pain was ultimately a hidden danger.
After that, he maintained a calm relationship with Lin Jingming for two years.
Junxi had also just turned eighteen. The three of them carefully treaded on a critical point, striving not to touch each other's boundaries.
However, after attending Junxi's eighteenth birthday party, Lin Jingming unexpectedly proposed marriage. Moreover, there was no room for Zhou Xuanyu to refuse this proposal.
Because Lin Jingming told him she was pregnant.
Lin Jingming was very clever; although she couldn't gauge how much Zhou Xuanyu cared for her, she knew he was a responsible man.
Her guess was not wrong; upon hearing about the child, Zhou Xuanyu agreed to the marriage.
A few days later, preparations for the wedding began joyfully. Yet in Zhou Xuanyu's heart, there always seemed to be a corner that felt empty.
Lin Jingming could not fill that void.
During that time, although he appeared as spirited as any groom-to-be on the surface, he actually lost a lot of weight and found little joy in food.
He decided to hold the wedding in France; he didn't even know why he thought that way. Perhaps he believed that being farther from Qingcheng would allow him to focus more wholeheartedly.
On the day of the incident in Chamonix involving Junxi, he was actually accompanying Lin Jingming for her wedding photos. At that moment, Lin Jingming had just changed into her wedding dress, and the photographer was praising her figure, saying she looked nothing like a pregnant woman.
While Lin Jingming felt somewhat embarrassed, Zhou Xuanyu received a distress call from Yang Tingfang.
Upon hearing that Junxi was in trouble, he rushed out of the studio without hesitation.
That time, Junxi only saw him descend like a deity but did not know that Zhou Xuanyu had used all his connections in France to find her.
Seeing Junxi again stirred Zhou Xuanyu's heart, which had finally begun to settle down.
That night, Lin Jingming called everywhere looking for him, but all he wanted was to be with Junxi.
He knew that what he was doing was wrong.
Although she was an adult now, he was about to get married.
Their distance, aside from the age he had always been concerned about, now included an insurmountable identity—he was about to become someone else's husband.
On the Snowfield of Chamonix, he deliberately revealed his upcoming marriage to her. He did it to tell her, but also to remind himself.
He wished for a smooth wedding with Jingming, but in the end, everything went well except for one thing—his restless heart.
After Lin Jingming's accident, Zhou Xuanyu lived in deep regret.
He didn't hate Lin Jingming for deceiving him; he only hated himself for not listening to his heart sooner. He loved Junxi, quietly yet passionately. This bond, as if dictated by fate, was something he could not resist.
For five years, he endured the pain of longing without seeking out Junxi. It was both a punishment for himself and a way to honor his promise to Lin Jingming.
After the car accident, when Lin Jingming was still conscious, she met him once.
At that time, she thought she wouldn't survive until the next day, so she held his hand and repeatedly begged him not to leave her before she died.
She said, "After I die, you can spend the rest of your life loving Wen Junxi. But please, before that, stay with me until the end."
Zhou Xuanyu agreed. Even though she closed her eyes and slept for five years, this time he did not break his promise.
He may have failed to marry her, but he kept his promise to accompany her until the end.
After returning home, there were many times when he actually had the chance to tell Junxi about Lin Jingming's situation, but he didn't. He chose to hide those five years away.
Those who didn’t know thought he couldn’t move on from his heartbreak; only those who understood him knew this was a way to protect another person.
Because Zhou Xuanyu knew that Lin Jingming was not an insignificant presence in Junxi's life. He didn’t want Junxi to feel that Lin Jingming’s death had anything to do with her.
If one of them had to live in guilt, then he would rather it be himself.
This was his love for Junxi.
Perhaps it wasn't deep enough, but it was the best love he could think of.
...
Junxi leaned back, resting her head on Zhou Xuanyu's shoulder.
He turned his head and gently pressed a kiss on her forehead.
"So you had so many thoughts about me back then but never told me."
"Didn't you also just like to write in your diary?"
Junxi's face flushed.
"That's different."
"How is it different?"
It was the same.
They both loved early.
But as time passed and after experiencing the ups and downs, they realized that loving early was not as good as loving at just the right moment.
Now, misunderstandings had been cleared up, and everything from the past had settled. There were no more ties between them, no more choices to be made.
This was what belonged to them—a perfect balance.
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