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墨書 Inktalez
"Last time you said you wouldn't return until you were drunk, that you'd drink to your heart's content, but I can't accompany you because of some matters. Now, we can drink without holding back." I raised an eyebrow as I signaled the waiter to bring out the best food and wine. Xiaobai lay lazily by the window, not even bothering to glance our way.
"Alright, let's not leave until we're drunk. That's what you said; let's see who falls first," Sima Rui laughed, completely oblivious to the fluffy creature nearby.
I smiled lightly and shook my head; it was uncertain who would get drunk first. I had learned a lot about drinking from television, especially about Duan Yu's technique of pouring wine from his fingertips. So, while smiling and downing my drink, I used my internal energy to let the wine flow away from my fingertips. Of course, I had to do this discreetly; I couldn't afford to get drunk myself, but I needed to intoxicate him. Only then could I shake him off and return to the palace without him suspecting anything. Thus, drinking together today was essential.
"Cheers!" I lifted my glass and drank it all down before refilling it. Looking at Sima Rui's flushed face across from me, I knew he was already slightly tipsy and needed my continued efforts to pour more wine for him.
"I... I think I'm getting a bit drunk," he said with hazy eyes.
"Not yet," I replied with a smile. "We haven't had enough; let's keep going." I poured more wine for him, and he obediently gulped it down. I drank another glass in return.
He gazed at me with bleary eyes. "You used to recite poetry when we drank. Little Jin, I want to hear you recite."
"Really?" I touched my forehead, pretending to be tipsy myself. "Alright, let me think about what to say."
Perhaps I was indeed a little tipsy; without realizing it, I began to softly sing: "When Is the Bright Moon? I raise my cup to ask the clear sky; not knowing what year it is in the heavenly palaces..."
As I finished, I noticed the surrounding area had fallen silent; we could almost hear each other's breathing. Looking around in confusion, I found everyone staring at me in a daze. When I turned to Sima Rui, he raised his hand—first one clap, then two… soon applause erupted like thunder, and the entire Friend Gathering Pavilion came alive. Sima Rui gazed at me intensely; I was momentarily taken aback. I had merely sung softly; Su Shi's poem was beautifully written, and since I often practiced singing Wang Fei's songs, it took me a moment to process what had happened. To my surprise—I felt my face flush.
"May we all live long and share the beauty of the moon thousands of miles apart?" Sima Rui murmured. "I really am drunk." With that, he collapsed onto the table.
"Hey..." I patted him but received no response. Could he really be that drunk? Counting the bottles on the table revealed over ten already. As I stood up, dizziness hit me hard, nearly causing me to sit back down again. It seemed I'd truly had too much; even using my internal energy to expel the alcohol left me feeling tipsy—what more for him?
After searching for a while without seeing Chen Wen's figure, I wondered how a servant could neglect their duty when their master was drunk.
After waiting for quite some time with no sign of him, Sima Rui mumbled incoherently across from me; nothing was clear enough to understand. Steadying myself unsteadily, I walked over and lifted one of his arms over my shoulder before struggling to help him up. They say someone completely unconscious feels twice as heavy as usual; judging by how hard it was to lift him, that saying seemed true. Xiaobai lifted its eyelids and looked at me as if saying 'you brought this upon yourself.' Seeing its smug expression made me start believing what Uncle One had told me.
It clearly understood everything!
After settling the bill, I helped him find the nearest inn, hoping to get rid of him there. However, as soon as he lay on the bed, he frowned continuously and groaned softly. Seeing his flushed face and sweaty forehead made my heart ache a little. Soaking a towel in water, I wiped away the sweat from his face.
Suddenly, he grabbed my hand with his eyes closed and murmured unconsciously, "Little Jin, Little Jin..."
I held back the sting in my nose and pried his fingers off one by one. Then, as if nothing had happened, I wiped the sweat from his brow. Suddenly, the little white creature that had been lying on the table let out a sharp cry, and I could almost imagine it rolling its eyes at me in silent reproach.
As I tucked the blanket around him, just as I was about to take the little white creature and leave, Sima Rui suddenly opened his misty eyes and looked at me in confusion, calling out, "Little Jin, Little Jin—" My body stiffened, and I turned to look at him. Was he drowning his sorrows in alcohol again today?
He suddenly lifted himself up, leaning his entire face toward me. I guessed he wanted to kiss my lips, but because he couldn't see clearly, his damp kiss landed on my cheek instead. It was warm and made my eyes gradually moisten. I thought he had awakened, but he continued to murmur unconsciously, "Little Jin, Little Jin, why aren't you a woman? Why? My heart hurts so much, Little Jin..."
A shock ran through me as he suddenly fell back into a deep sleep, closing his eyes once more. I sat there in a daze on the floor.
Why? Why did you fall in love with An Jin?
What if I were a woman? Would you be willing to give up your kingdom, forsake your three thousand beauties in the harem, and live as an ordinary couple with me? We could enjoy the blooming flowers in spring, the lush greenery in summer, admire the golden leaves in autumn, and revel in the white snow of winter. We could wander freely through the world without caring for worldly matters, traveling amidst mountains and rivers. Could you do that?
The answer was clear.
If that were the case, why should we provoke each other? Why should we harbor such extravagant hopes? It would be better to remain forever unaware of our feelings; to seal them deep within our hearts and never mention them again; to avoid exposing them or leaving any expectations that shouldn't exist. Let them fade away with time and memory.
I know you would give me the highest status as a woman. If I were to deceive myself and pretend to be an ancient woman, perhaps I would feel grateful; perhaps I would willingly choose to be with you forever in this way; perhaps I would allow myself to love you. But I am not that kind of woman; I cannot do it. Just as you cannot abandon your kingdom or everything you have worked so hard to achieve.
Let us not take that step that should not be broken. Otherwise, everything will spiral out of control; we will lose ourselves. Even pure feelings could become tainted, leading to regrets—either yours or mine.
I will never regret our meeting; I will never allow that day to come between us. If there are trials to endure or pains to experience during this time, let me bear them alone. You need not know the truth; you only need to fulfill your duties in your beautiful dream and hope for what you should hope for. I will not let you suffer any harm nor can I stay by your side forever.
If Xie Weiying's hatred for you runs deep, then similarly, An Jin's love for you is equally profound.
The dark sky stretched like a massive curtain above me, dotted with stars. A bright moon hung solitary in the sky, casting a gentle and cool light. The moon was large and round, seemingly within reach; yet when I reached out for it, I realized it was too far away—just like something that feels close yet is actually worlds apart. The air was slightly cool; the night was pleasant. Dressed in white robes on the rooftop of Frostfall Palace, I could still see the myriad lights of Kyoto below. It reminded me of winter nights in Beijing—tranquil and serene—with an air of noble elegance surrounding me. There were also those winter nights spent walking down empty streets where shadows were few and only bright neon lights illuminated the way home.
A gentle sound of qin music drifted through the air—soft strokes that carried a unique charm within them. Sitting on the rooftop with a long sigh, I rested my chin on my hand and immersed myself in Suda's melodies. Seeing my dejected expression, she chuckled softly from below. I ignored her.
It had been a week since my return. Yet for some reason, despite usually being a sound sleeper who could withstand anything, I had started suffering from insomnia—severe insomnia at that. No matter how tired I felt or how much I wanted to sleep, once I lay down on my bed, sleep eluded me completely. This situation persisted for too long; soon enough, headaches began to plague me along with a haggard appearance and dark circles under my eyes that rivaled those of our national treasure—the panda.
Knowing about my sleeplessness and that I'd appear on the rooftop every night, Suda began coming into the courtyard each evening as well—playing her qin alongside me. Although she said nothing and occasionally offered sarcastic smiles here and there, I felt her warmth beside me. She was like another Yun Ying—always there for me and caring about me. Speaking of Yun Ying, upon hearing of my return she made a special trip to Frostfall Palace to complain about not being taken along on my journey. Of course, she also brought many silks and beautiful fabrics for me to use while idling away time making clothes or decorating my room.
Sighing again at my insomnia, it seemed dawn was approaching; perhaps it was time for me to find something to do—like sketching out design plans that had piled up over months or decorating my room back into its former state from when I lived in my apartment. I'd also tend to those ladies' grooming needs—doing their hair and designing some lovely hairstyles for them. And then there were my comics; so much had happened that new material awaited me—the unconventional heroine now had new adventures ahead.
Perhaps I should draw a story about time travel within time travel. Right now, I find myself in the Jin Dynasty, so I could create a comic about a woman from this era traveling back to earlier times. The Qin Dynasty would be great; I really like it, especially the handsome and formidable Qin Shi Huang, who was both ambitious and talented. This idea sounds good, hmm, still undecided. I wonder if the people of this time would accept it or even believe it.
"Are you sure you want to continue looking so lost and forlorn, with bags under your eyes as big as the old men's tobacco pouches?" At some point, the music had stopped, and I snapped back to reality, gazing blankly at Suda. The sight startled me; my body instinctively recoiled. Goodness, is this really the usually cold and aloof Suda? With her hands on her hips and a look that could rival a street gossip berating someone, her eyes sparked with anger as if she wanted to roast me alive like Peking duck—if only she could climb onto the roof.
I stammered, "Suda, you don't have to be so worked up."
"How can I not be worked up?" Suda retorted angrily. "Just to keep you company, I'm now out of balance physically, my anger is harming me, and I've even broken out in pimples."
I mumbled softly, "Well, you don't have to accompany me then."
"What did you say?!" Suda nearly went crazy. "What did you eat this time that has made you look like you're on the verge of death? You could just tell that cold noodle Imperial Physician so he can cure you in one go."
I continued to rest my chin on my hand while gazing at the moon. With Suda on the brink of hysteria, I let out a heavy sigh. If only I knew where I went wrong; I wouldn't be feeling so troubled.
Suda stormed off in tears, utterly speechless at my response.
I turned my attention back to "The Lord of the Rings." The grand atmosphere and unparalleled battle scenes, along with those exquisite details that no one has surpassed yet. I wondered when China would produce such an impressive and shocking work about fantasy and the future. The beautiful elven prince with his enchanting white hair, along with that stunning figure with sapphire blue eyes—the brave and handsome king, the wise embodiment of Gandalf, and the small yet crucial character of the Hobbit, Frodo, and Sam—illustrated the importance of ordinary people. Those white buildings nestled among mountains were incredible and beautiful. The monsters were so lifelike; the city ruled by Mordor was eerie. Those castles built from piled stones, steep cliffs, and cities suspended in mid-air were all very evocative. A city shrouded in darkness felt like a dream.
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