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On the day I returned, Xiao Quanzi was so excited that she almost forgot our master-servant relationship and threw her arms around my neck. In contrast, Suda maintained a calm expression and simply said, "You're back." I knew her temperament was always like this, so it didn't surprise me. However, later Xiao Quanzi secretly told me that ever since I left, Suda had kept a cold face, like a piece of ancient ice, constantly radiating an aura that warned others to stay away. They had all suffered because of it. Upon hearing that I was back, it was the first time in a long while that she smiled, albeit faintly; the curve of her lips couldn't deceive anyone. On the night after my arrival, as Xiao Quanzi passed by Suda's room, she heard her laughing wildly, which scared her into thinking she had encountered a ghost. Gathering her courage, she knocked on the door, and when Suda opened it, she returned to her usual calm and indifferent demeanor, making Xiao Quanzi wonder if she had imagined the laughter.
I chuckled; it turned out that the ice princess Suda presented to everyone was actually two-faced. Later, when I casually brought up this incident, Suda blushed but vehemently denied it. Watching her flustered expression, I pretended not to know anything and refrained from pressing her further, but inwardly I couldn't help but laugh at how adorable she could be.
Suda informed me that after I left, two people came to Frostfall Palace looking for me: one was Consort Huan from Xiao Tiao Palace, and the other was Yuhua, who had been close to me since childhood. However, Suda told them I was seriously ill and unable to meet guests. As time passed, rumors spread in the palace about how Xie Jieyu had been sent to Cold Palace and how her health had worsened due to her loss of favor and growing melancholy. Some with a hint of conscience spoke of me with a tone of sympathy, while others relished in my misfortune, claiming it was my retribution for being so arrogant in the past.
But I knew their shared sentiment was one of relief that they had successfully persuaded their fathers to petition the emperor against me; otherwise, I wouldn't be in this situation today. They had combined their efforts to influence their fathers to act against me.
I clearly remembered how those hypocritical officials had stared at me with wide eyes when I danced that day. Yet afterward, they spoke grandly about propriety and ancient teachings.
I wasn't too worried about Yuhua seeking me out; however, Consort Huan wasn't foolish either. After using the same excuse several times, she would inevitably grow suspicious. I thought I needed to be cautious in dealing with her. I wondered what her purpose was in visiting a consort who had been sent to Cold Palace. It truly gave me a headache.
I recalled when Suda told me all this, Gaze remarked with complexity in his voice, "Never has there been a consort in Cold Palace who received so much attention. Firefly, you cannot deny your uniqueness."
I could only smile sheepishly and say, "Perhaps it's because I've offended them before coming here. They must be here to mock me."
When Consort Huan arrived, she brought only one attendant with her and spoke with humility and courtesy; it was hard to believe she was there to cause trouble. If she didn't want to talk about Suda, then naturally Suda wouldn't ask.
The scent of sandalwood wafted through the air like a gentle breeze. Lying languidly on the imperial concubine chair was a beautiful woman with no makeup; she appeared drowsy and weary with slightly squinted eyes. However, upon recognizing the figure at the door, she suddenly sprang up joyfully.
"Your Majesty, you're back!"
Sima Rui smiled slightly. "Consort Huan, long time no see." He then embraced her warmly.
"While I was away, everything has been well?" Sima Rui's eyes held tenderness as he spoke.
"Everyone else is fine, but without you here, the competition has become even more intense. However, the one person I've been keeping an eye on never shows her face," Consort Huan said with a faint smile.
Sima Rui raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"I've gone to Frostfall Palace several times to see her, but she always refuses to meet. The young eunuch guarding the door said she is seriously ill and shouldn't see anyone. Yet, I can't shake the feeling that something unusual is going on," Consort Huan frowned.
"Seriously ill?" Sima Rui was somewhat taken aback, then murmured to himself, "It seems she's always had poor health, so that's not too surprising."
Consort Huan recalled the woman who appeared weak on the surface but was actually cheerful and optimistic. In such a complex place as the palace, she managed to maintain her own sense of self and find joy in her life. How could someone like her, as rumors suggested, fall out of favor and be cast into the Cold Palace, becoming depressed and allowing her old ailments to resurface, putting her life in danger? Anyone could believe it because she always seemed frail. Moreover, those sent to the Cold Palace often succumbed to despair and madness. But she didn't believe it; having observed this palace from a distance for so long, she couldn't be mistaken about someone. She refused to accept that the rumors were true.
Sima Rui sat down on the couch with a soft sigh, closing his eyes wearily. Consort Huan walked over and naturally began to massage his forehead. Sima Rui sighed comfortably, a slight smile unconsciously appearing at the corners of his mouth.
Consort Huan seemed to sense something. "What’s wrong? Did something good happen outside?"
In a muffled voice, he replied, "I found him. It's just—" He thought of how he had acted that day and smiled helplessly. He had drunk too much that day; even now, thinking back made his head throb slightly.
All he remembered was drinking together at Friend Gathering Pavilion until he got drunk and then nothing at all. When he woke up, he found himself in an inn with Little Jin already gone. After asking the innkeeper, he learned that a handsome young man had brought him there. Sima Rui could easily guess that the beautiful youth described by the innkeeper was indeed Little Jin.
After years apart, Little Jin had grown even more beautiful—almost more so than any of the consorts in his harem—with skin so flawless it seemed almost delicate enough to wrinkle at a breath, smooth as jade and pearl, surpassing any woman by far.
For some reason, a thought began to take root in his heart: to keep him by his side, regardless of what identity that might entail.
Keep him by your side.
This selfish thought had been swirling in her mind ever since she encountered him again.
"Did you find him?" Consort Huan asked, somewhat surprised. No wonder his expression was so joyful.
"Yes. I found him. Finally found him."
"What do you plan to do?"
Sima Rui's tone was bitter. "I don't know, I don't know."
"Is he willing to give up everything to stay by your side?"
Sima Rui opened his eyes, filled with helplessness and confusion. "In fact, I don't know. I can't even dare to ask. Consort Huan, I never knew that after being an emperor for so long, there would still be something I fear—fear so much that I can't bear to know the answer, fear that prevents me from taking this step."
Consort Huan understood. Wasn't she once like that? This kind of fear gnawed at her like ants devouring her flesh and bones, a pain that made life unbearable. The fear of losing felt like a slow torture, tormenting her heart night after night. Yet, so much time had passed that those memories of romance and beauty had gradually faded. Perhaps the past was just an illusion for her. Just like the emperor's feelings for him, surely it was also a dream—unreachable.
But even knowing this, she was unwilling to wake from such a beautiful dream.
Looking at the emperor's haggard and sorrowful face, things seemed to be getting more complicated.
"Do you still remember the Swaying in Green Robes?"
"That folk painter who claimed to depict strange comics mocking the royal family?"
"Yes," Consort Huan laughed, "You should take a look at all her published works now; you'll find them truly remarkable."
"Really?" Sima Rui replied, his voice lacking interest. "What’s so new about that?"
"Well, Your Majesty sees through the competition among the concubines for your favor, so it’s no surprise that her paintings vividly recreate everything happening in the palace," Consort Huan said lightly, as if discussing something trivial. "Moreover, the woman in those paintings is particularly special; she seems to embody the qualities and shadows you often mention."
"Are you sure?!" The man jumped up. "Quickly find a complete set and send it to me."
"Don't rush, Your Majesty. This story isn't over yet. I will send you a complete set of what has been released right now," Consort Huan said with a smile. She knew he would react this way when she mentioned it, eager and impatient.
"Oh," Sima Rui relaxed back down. But the next moment, he sprang up at lightning speed. "Then I'll go back and take a look."
Having read the entire set of The Shadow of the Spy, he found it quite enjoyable. He would be heading back tomorrow. Sigh, life at home was truly wonderful and passed too quickly. He would soon return to normal days, no longer having to deal with two computers in front of him, neither of which was connected to the internet. However, he also wouldn't have the luxury of soaking in a bath while watching movies anymore. This holiday spent with everyone was very pleasant. Thank you to everyone who supported me; I appreciate you all. Everything will be fine once I return to school, and my updates will be more frequent. Let's all work hard together in the new semester!
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