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墨書 Inktalez
The sunlight shone brightly, and my heart was free of shadows.
What kind of place is this?
Suddenly, I recalled something I had said a long, long time ago.
A pot of wine, a small boat, two people laughing by the riverside, drifting between Heaven and Earth; in spring, admiring the blooming flowers, in summer, basking in the gentle breeze, in autumn, gazing at the crescent moon, in winter, watching the falling snow...
To build a small wooden house near the mountain stream, painted red, with flowing water nearby, lush green grass swaying gently, birds singing harmoniously, wildflowers blooming everywhere. I wanted to plant a whole garden of Wild Roses and have a long wooden bridge leading to the other side of the river. Sitting on the bridge during the day, I could watch the sunrise and sunset; at night, I could admire the countless stars in the sky. Just the two of us, my head resting on his shoulder, relying on each other for life.
Holding your hand and growing old together.
Together for all eternity.
This was the life I had always longed for—a life like that of immortals. Although I knew it was unrealistic and somewhat childish, there remained a place in my heart for this dream. A beautiful dream.
And at this moment, as I walked through this courtyard, I felt as if this dream had become reality.
The long wooden bridge stretched over a lake filled with blooming White Lotuses; their emerald leaves danced in the gentle breeze, creating ripples of green. It seemed boundless.
Not far away stood a small red wooden house. A few words were inscribed above it: Jin Garden. The house featured a long corridor and eaves. In front of the door hung a swing entwined with flowers. The petals were slightly wilted but not dried or decayed; it must have been recently adorned.
After taking a few steps, I heard the sound of flowing water. It turned out that the yard in front of the house was filled with Wild Roses; a gentle stream flowed through it, accompanied by lush green grass.
By the lakeside beneath the wooden bridge stood drooping willows; when the breeze passed by, their blossoms fluttered down like soft snowflakes.
My eyes grew warm with emotion.
Am I in a Dream?
I carefully ascended the stone steps and arrived at the wooden door. Taking a deep breath, my fingers trembled as I pushed it open.
Just one glance left me frozen in place. Then, without any warning, tears streamed down my face.
Fragments deeply buried in my memory flashed before my eyes one by one, as if they had happened just yesterday.
“Brother Sima... let’s escape... let’s leave this world together... to see the sky, the sea, the mountains, the sunset, and the endless expanse of the heavens... to break free from worldly ties... to see through this world... to transcend this mundane existence...” The young boy said, holding a jar of fragrant Blossom Plum Wine.
“Brother Sima... if you were the emperor, I would give you all the wealth of this world...” The boy's expression was earnest.
“Little Jin, if you were a girl...” The man's tone was bitter.
“If one of us were a boy and the other a girl, we would become husband and wife, growing old together...” The boy's face flushed slightly, but he quickly changed the subject.
“What is this beautiful woman painting? Brother Sima, are you deliberately teasing Little Jin by portraying me as an ugly woman? It’s all so ambiguous...” The boy felt embarrassed but pretended to be nonchalant.
In the dead of night, he called out repeatedly: “Little Jin, Little Jin...” The man furrowed his brows tightly, in unbearable pain.
...
Memories flooded my mind and soul. I looked at the various paintings in the room, all exquisitely wrapped and precious. The entire room was filled with paintings. I stood frozen in place, unable to move. The subjects of those paintings were all one person—some smiling joyfully, some slightly frowning, some gazing sadly, some with cold expressions, some playfully cute, some crying, some angry... It seemed to encompass all the beautiful expressions of the world—the kind acts, all the joys and sorrows... But when I realized that the person in those paintings was me, I finally couldn’t help but cry out loud. That was all An Jin. There was him carefree in Spring Garden, him relaxed and carefree wandering in Jiankang City, him warm and sweet while boating on Crescent Lake, him mischievous during playtime, him proud and aloof during Martial Arts Prosperity, him cold and desolate at the cliff's edge, him elegant and refined at his birthday banquet...
All of them were him dressed in white robes.
There were various versions of him. All framed in precious gold frames adorned with jewels. Neatly hung throughout the entire room.
I walked in dazedly. Immersed in such an extraordinary space.
My heart ached so much that I could hardly breathe. It even felt like it was cramping.
I whispered softly: “Brother Sima... you’re so foolish, so foolish... why must it be like this...” I stood there, covering my mouth tightly to suppress the sobs threatening to erupt. Tears welling up were pushed back.
Brother Sima, your grand love—what should I do? How can I handle this? We cannot be together.
I cannot love you. I cannot.
Is there anyone who can tell me what I should do?
"Who’s there?!" A chilling voice suddenly came from behind me.
I turned around, tears streaming down my face as I looked at him. For eternity, I gazed upon him.
He stared coldly at me. "You know." I continued to stare at him in a daze.
Suddenly, he lunged toward me with lightning speed, stepping closer and closer until, amidst my screams, he tightly grasped my slender neck.
He laughed cruelly like a demon. "Consort, don’t you know? I told you that this palace has forbidden areas, and those who intrude have only one path—death. I wanted to let you go, but you saw everything. Do you understand? I have fallen in love with a man, so I will never love any woman in this harem." I struggled to tell him the truth, but he choked me so tightly that I couldn't even catch my breath. What was wrong with him? There was a strange and terrifying light in his eyes. His grip was as strong as iron; no matter how much I struggled, it was futile. My consciousness began to fade, and I kept shouting in my heart: Brother Sima... Brother Sima... I'm Little Jin...
He leaned close to my ear and murmured, "Consort, don’t worry. It will be over soon; you won’t feel pain anymore..." What do you mean it won't hurt? Let me go! I don’t want to die at your hands, Brother Sima! I don’t want you to regret it one day! Even regret for a lifetime!
What forbidden area? Why hadn’t I heard of it before? Foolishly believing Yaya, I came in here and immersed myself in his silent yet profound affection... completely unaware that this was a trap...
With all my strength, I opened my eyes to look at him, filled with unbearable pain, longing, reluctance, and heart-wrenching anxiety... It felt as if time had stopped, as if the years had forgotten to flow by, as if only the two of us remained in this world... I stared at him wide-eyed... silently calling out Brother Sima...
My brain was flooded with oxygen; my eyes rolled back as darkness engulfed me. Finally, I fell into an endless abyss of blackness.
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