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墨書 Inktalez
Xu Nuan never allowed herself to stagnate or wallow in self-pity due to injuries; for her, the pain in her body was a testament to her existence. However, losing her sight was something she had not anticipated.
"Did you just hurt your eyes?"
Compared to the turmoil within her, Gu Ze's concern was evident in his words.
Like a floating weed without support, Xu Nuan tightly grasped Gu Ze's hand. Her words came out fragmented, and she imagined her expression must look terrible.
"No, but..."
But she couldn't see anymore.
She was engulfed by a wave of panic. For the first time, she realized that she wasn't capable of handling everything; she couldn't solve the predicament before her.
She coughed a few times, and something liquid surged up from her throat, finally spilling out.
At that moment, she heard Gu Ze's frantic voice again as he released her hand and began to feel around his face and head.
"It's all my fault. I should have realized that Xie Huai's gaze toward you was off. I should have guessed that his mission was related to you."
The scene she had witnessed during the day was not an illusion. Xu Nuan felt something warm fill the void in her heart, preventing her limbs from going stiff at this moment.
"It was my fault for hesitating at the Campsite instead of checking on you sooner. If only I had arrived earlier."
What kind of man was he, feeling guilty at a time like this?
"It's not your fault," Xu Nuan said firmly. "It's my own oversight."
She knew Xie Huai was acting strangely, yet she had still taken the risk to come out. She knew she couldn't defeat the Sand Python but failed to return to the Campsite in time. In truth, she was merely reaping what she had sown—because of her lack of strength and her concern for her fragile pride.
She noticed that Gu Ze was silent for a moment before suddenly embracing her. His warm breath enveloped her, yet she still couldn't see his expression.
"Warm, can you not speak like that? Can you trust me just this once? I can protect you. I already know why you said those things last night. Did you really not see through Deng Yinyin's clumsy tricks?"
Gu Ze's voice was unusually hoarse, and Xu Nuan suddenly recalled how this man had fervently kissed her at Thousand-Faced Lake, the moisture in his eyes at that moment.
"When we were at the last checkpoint, I mistook her for you because I had a fever, but I realized my mistake in time. I won't make that error again. Just trust me once."
She thought no man would ever plead with her like this. She had never imagined that such a tone and these words could be so moving.
"Gu Ze."
Xu Nuan pushed Gu Ze away, and he did not insist.
As soon as the warmth left, the cold wind from the Gobi Desert rushed in from all directions, making her shiver.
She couldn't see Gu Ze's expression at that moment, and her hollow heart couldn't perceive his feelings. If Gu Ze truly hoped she would believe him, then she should be honest with him.
"I remember some things."
Gu Ze remained silent, but she knew he was there, just a few dozen centimeters away, gazing intently at her, even though she was disheveled and covered in dirt.
"The reason I experienced memory gaps is that someone made me take a certain drug for an extended period. That person is Qin Yaojie."
As she calmly spoke that name, Xu Nuan realized that her feelings for that man had truly ended—completely severed.
She felt Gu Ze's breathing become somewhat heavy across from her. He reached out and held her hand. She didn't pull away; the warmth of his palm couldn't thaw the chill in her heart—it was a distance that felt insurmountable.
"I have known him for twenty-six years; we know each other inside out. We were once lovers with an intimate relationship. But I don't understand why he changed or why he would do such things."
Xu Nuan finally believed that saying: no matter how many precautions one takes, they cannot guard against the person beside them.
She tightened her grip on his hand suddenly, but he remained unfazed and continued.
"Gu Ze, how long have we known each other? We had no connection in college, and even in the game, our interactions have only lasted half a year. Can I trust you? How can I trust you?"
She transformed her questions into statements, clearly expressing her thoughts.
After twenty-six years of emotions, from friendship to love, perhaps in the future mixed with some familial affection, such feelings could change. To her, what feelings in this world would remain unchanged? She was already exhausted; she was merely surviving. She trusted no one.
"Gu Ze, I appreciate that you've saved me so many times, and I'm grateful that you are my Pursuer. However, I do not trust you."
As she finished that last sentence, Xu Nuan felt as if her heart had truly died—cold and still, without a ripple.
A long silence stretched between them. Xu Nuan noticed her vision gradually becoming clearer; she could vaguely make out the contours of Gu Ze's face. Amidst the blur, she sensed his more intense gaze upon her.
The cold wind on the Gobi howled, bringing distant scents while carrying away the thick smell of blood from this place.
Having said what she wanted to say, Xu Nuan had no further thoughts of speaking. She pondered over the injuries she had sustained and what problems might arise without medical treatment, wondering how much longer this broken body could support her.
Amidst the sounds of wind and breathing, she heard Gu Ze's voice.
"But Nuan, have you considered," Gu Ze's voice was low and heavy, as if suppressing something.
"This is unfair to me. Qin Yaojie and I are independent individuals; feelings are not determined by the length of time spent together. I can show you that you can trust me, but if you don't even give me that chance, then of course you'll never trust me."
Xu Nuan admitted that Gu Ze's words made sense; however, feelings often defied logic, and she couldn't explain it.
When she looked up at Gu Ze again, she found her vision clearer still; she could see his features distinctly now. She noticed him leaning closer after hearing her words and quickly leaned back to create some distance between them.
"Has your vision recovered?"
At this moment, she still couldn't clearly see Gu Ze's expression, but she could gauge his mood from his tone.
"It's recovering, but I still can't see very well. I might have hit my head again, affecting my optic nerves."
Seeing Gu Ze return to his original position, Xu Nuan slowly straightened up, attempting to stand. However, a wave of dizziness hit her, causing her to lean forward.
With Gu Ze there, how could she possibly fall? Once he steadied her, Xu Nuan shook her head to clear her mind.
"Thank you."
In her current fragile state, she had no choice but to rely on him, yet she stubbornly insisted on drawing a line.
"Let's head back to the campsite and get you checked out. If anything feels off, we need to address it to avoid any lasting effects."
Gu Ze avoided the apology and adjusted his pace to match hers as they walked toward the campsite.
The warmth where he held her was unfamiliar, seeping through her clothes and onto her skin, suddenly turning into a burning sensation that made her want to cry.
They walked in silence for a while. As Xu Nuan's vision gradually returned, she still relied on Gu Ze to navigate their way back through the darkness.
"What do you think Xie Huai will do when he gets back?"
Xu Nuan broke the silence, forcing herself to face Gu Ze with the most straightforward mindset. She had long realized that her attitude was unfair not only to him but also to herself; it was better to bury any delicate feelings deep beneath the surface.
"No matter what he does, it's all wrong."
Gu Ze had no intention of ignoring her. Adults tend to be more rational when dealing with conflicts, suppressing their emotions deep inside where they slowly ferment—perhaps becoming richer or perhaps changing altogether.
"Actually, as long as he goes back alone, Hang will be able to guess what happened. It's not a big deal."
Xu Nuan nodded, falling silent.
She wasn't surprised that Xie Huai's mission target was herself; her own target was also one of her companions. Moreover, unlike Xie Huai, who needed to push her towards Python to resolve the conflict between them, her mission was even more brutal. The System had achieved its goal of sowing discord between them. At least now, there was a life-and-death gap between her and Xie Huai, which would inevitably lead to many conflicts in the future. Their relationship had become a hidden danger for the team.
"I am her target," Xu Nuan thought of something. "Will I also be a target for others?"
This was a fair yet unfair game. If she was simultaneously a target for two people with different mission objectives, while some were not targets for anyone else, could she conclude that this mission was aimed specifically at her? Being targeted meant she was getting closer to the truth, and those in the monitoring room didn't want her to reach it.
The only person she was gradually getting closer to was Qin Yaojie; he held part of the truth.
"Probably not," Gu Ze's voice seemed like it could be blown away by the wind at any moment, low and hoarse. They could already see the flickering lights of the Campsite.
"My target is Deng Yinyin, and Hang's target is Xie Huai. That leaves only Deng Yinyin, so the chances are slim."
Xu Nuan suddenly stopped in her tracks, looking at Gu Ze with surprise. Her lips pressed together, forming words filled with complex emotions.
"You?"
She couldn't bring herself to ask directly, but Gu Ze readily answered.
"I'll go; I won't lie to you."
Xu Nuan's hand, which had not been held up for support, suddenly clenched into a fist before relaxing a few seconds later.
"Besides, my mission with Hang isn't as difficult as Xie Huai's; it's within an acceptable range for me. Especially since Deng Yinyin played tricks and Xie Huai indirectly hurt you; I think they deserve a lesson."
Xu Nuan wanted to blurt out a question about the specific mission, but the words on her lips transformed into something else entirely.
“Xu Hang actually told you about his mission.”
Even if she considered everyone as companions, Xu Nuan would choose to conceal her own mission. Although it aligned with System's wishes, she had no other choice.
Walking beside her, Gu Ze did not turn to look at her, keeping his gaze fixed ahead, calm and composed.
“When I first learned about the personal mission and when Deng Yinyin began to probe, I confirmed that this mission was brutal and would create rifts within our team. System anticipated a scenario where we would turn against each other, but there are also things that System could not foresee.”
Gu Ze slightly raised his hand to catch Xu Nuan's shoulder as she leaned to one side.
“The bond of Buddy between me and Hang cannot be easily severed. Likewise, I will never harm you because of a mission.”
Truth? Lies?
Xu Nuan completely lost her ability to discern.
The two had already approached the vicinity of the Campsite, and Xu Nuan's vision had nearly returned to normal. Before she could lift her head to check on the situation of those remaining at the Campsite, she heard Xie Huai's voice filled with terror.
“Deng Yinyin!”
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