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墨書 Inktalez
For a twenty-five-year-old, it is impossible to fully remember everything that has happened over the past twenty-five years. Not remembering does not mean forgetting; in fact, human memory, or the nerves related to memory, is a fascinating phenomenon, and the capacity of the human brain is unimaginable.
Aside from the memory gaps caused by mental trauma and the forced use of medication, Xu Nuan had not truly forgotten her past. Humans are remarkable beings, capable of firmly remembering events that have significantly impacted them, which in turn continues to affect them, creating a cycle. Everything Qin Yaojie told Xu Nuan had not been forgotten; however, as she entered the game and gradually approached the truth, her growing attachment to Gu Ze led her to unconsciously store memories related to Qin Yaojie in a corner of her mind.
That was not forgetting. So once she encountered something that could trigger her nerves, those memories would rush back to her.
During the Terrifying Cave level, Xu Nuan mentioned to Gu Ze that she was familiar with those Zombies because she had experienced similar dreams. Those dreams were distant memories, so much so that she momentarily forgot when she had them. Now, Xu Nuan could recall that memory completely. She had those dreams out of fear, and they did not occur after Qin Yaojie changed; those bizarre dreams happened when she was still growing up, chasing after Qin Yaojie's shadow. The reason? It was a story told by Qin Yaojie.
She realized that she had never truly seen Qin Yaojie for who he was. Terms like childhood sweethearts and first love became utterly ridiculous. That person's scheming had run so deep that he had foreseen potential future events long ago and devised a series of countermeasures.
Xu Nuan still could not determine whether Qin Yaojie’s actions—making her body unique or ensuring she was the only one aware of those secrets—were meant to give her a chance at survival or to help her find and protect the important item left behind by Su Zihang.
The one who could provide her with answers was already dead, yet even in death, he continued to influence her. She had once been like Dodder, weak and powerless, arming herself to become better in pursuit of Qin Yaojie's shadow. Now she had a firm goal: to bear another person's life and could be ruthless about her past.
Thus, she had made her choice.
Xu Nuan lowered her head, holding a cup of hot tea while deliberately ignoring the Zombie that had been watching her, her gaze slightly averted.
Now that she had made a decision, there would be no hesitation.
The warmth of the tea gradually faded away; Xu Nuan did not put down the cup nor drink from it. The light around her dimmed without her noticing. She shook her head, trying hard to stay alert.
Suddenly, a shadow fell before her, accompanied by an indescribable chill.
Xu Nuan tilted her head slightly and met the gaze of the Zombie again. To her, it felt like a one-sided stare; looking into the eyes of a dead person felt quite brave on her part.
After staring at Xu Nuan for a moment, the Zombie pointed toward the single bed with its pale fingers before gesturing toward the sofa as if prompting Xu Nuan to make a choice.
Though unable to speak, it seemed to possess human-like thoughts; despite being dead, its consciousness lingered here. A surge of anger welled up in Xu Nuan's chest—its target unclear but more directed at reality's unfairness. Because of this discontentment, she wanted to change things.
Xu Nuan silently stood up and walked over to lean against the sofa. Seeing this, the Zombie—whose gender was discernible but whose original face was hard to reconstruct—moved closer to the single bed and lay down with a creaking sound.
She actually wanted to communicate with this Zombie; after all, this one did not seem inclined to attack her at this moment—it was different from those Zombies encountered in the cave. Perhaps having come to terms with many things or feeling lonely without Gu Ze around made Xu Nuan eager for conversation.
If she didn’t talk now, there might never be another opportunity.
Sitting on the sofa, Xu Nuan suddenly looked up and found that the Zombie was also staring at her. In that moment, a flicker of light seemed to flash in its lifeless eyes, but when she looked closely again, there was nothing.
Xu Nuan had no choice but to fall silent once more. The Zombie did not turn off the light, or perhaps it understood what turning off the light meant and allowed the orange glow to fill the room.
Time passed slowly, and being in the same room as a Zombie was not as unbearable as she had imagined. As she carefully recalled the story's plot, Xu Nuan found herself losing track of time. She could hear the steady breathing of the Zombie, signaling that she could begin to act.
Do not think about this game and the Survival Game within it with ordinary logic. She had never understood what this game meant to those people, nor did she grasp the logic behind each challenge and its significance. Was it to prove their talents? Or was it truly to awaken the dark side within them, forcing them to confront a different version of themselves?
In this regard, she believed Gu Ze might see things more clearly. However, even if she were with Gu Ze, they were still two distinct individuals; there was no need to force the same attitude toward every situation.
The room was quiet both inside and out. Xu Nuan could imagine what was happening in other rooms; they were likely similar to this Zombie, lying on beds like corpses.
A moving corpse could not be called human, she thought, and she believed that those who ultimately became Zombies thought similarly in their final moments. She could not go back to stop those people at the moment they made their decisions; everyone had to pay for their choices. The cost varied; the more one desired, the greater the price paid in the end.
The orange light should have been warm. Not long ago, Xu Nuan thought such lighting gave life to the Zombie, but she knew very well that it was an illusion.
The night had deepened. Xu Nuan hugged her knees tightly, meticulously recalling every detail of that story. Time had stretched so far back that she could hardly count it; the initial fear brought by that story surged back into her heart. She remembered more vividly now and surrendered to her memories of Qin Yaojie, using what he had once made her remember and then tucked away in a corner of her mind to navigate through this challenge.
The orange light began to make her feel dazed. In her daze, it seemed as if she returned to a time of innocence when she held an optimistic view of everything around her, smiling generously at everyone nearby and trusting that one person wholeheartedly. Time flew by mercilessly; innocence had become an unreachable past, and she ultimately faced a cruel present from which she could not take another step forward.
Taking a deep breath filled with cold air made her feel nauseous and somewhat uncomfortable.
After pondering for a long time with her head down, Xu Nuan finally stood up beside the sofa and looked at the Zombie in front of her that seemed to have entered a state of human-like sleep.
From her perspective, the Zombie truly appeared to be just a corpse, and corpses were meant to sleep forever.
She tiptoed over and looked down at the Zombie. A sense of sorrow welled up in her heart again; she was not a soft-hearted person nor one who would indiscriminately show sympathy. Yet thinking about one day when what she feared would happen made it impossible for her to maintain calmness in front of this Zombie.
There were too many things she could not face, but avoiding them would lead only to perpetual evasion; nothing would ever be resolved. Once, because she dared not confront Qin Yaojie and chose to evade him, it allowed those lurking in the shadows to take advantage and kill her parents. Xu Nuan's life did not allow for such repetition. For Gu Ze's sake, for those who could still be considered companions, she could no longer run away.
As scenes flashed rapidly before her eyes, Xu Nuan swiftly drew out a short knife and mercilessly slashed at the Zombie's chest. The sensation of blade meeting flesh made her feel sick momentarily; however, soon enough, the knife hit something solid inside and could not penetrate further.
Xu Nuan pressed her lips together without immediately pulling out whatever it was. Just then, the Zombie opened its eyes wide and stared directly at her.
Her eyes were still devoid of life, showing no spark, yet she could distinctly feel the gaze of the Zombie upon her.
The corners of the Zombie's lips were still twisted into that eerie smile. At first, seeing such a smile would send chills down Xu Nuan's spine and make her heart tremble. But at this moment, she felt that this uncontrollable smile was filled with sadness.
If a person is controlled by another, lacking freedom and thought, then no amount of possessions that cannot be taken to the grave will matter. If a person is dead yet still controlled, unable to find peace in the earth or have their ashes scattered across the sea, it is an extreme tragedy. The one responsible for all this is unforgivable.
"I'm sorry."
Xu Nuan knew that at this moment, the Zombie was still capable of movement, which meant it could attack in self-defense rather than being forced to watch helplessly as its right to exist as a Zombie was stripped away.
The Zombie did not resist or attack, which surprised Xu Nuan; however, it did not waver her resolve.
She slightly twisted the knife embedded in its flesh, trying to extract the object buried within.
"I can't wait until dawn," Xu Nuan said seriously while keeping her eyes on the Zombie. "At that time, you won't be you anymore. To survive, I cannot allow you to exist."
"I hope this is liberation for you; if not, then feel free to hate me."
In the end, Xu Nuan used her short knife to dig out a chip from the Zombie's chest. The moment she extracted it, the Zombie collapsed into a pool of blood, revealing a complete skeleton within that emitted a foul odor.
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