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墨書 Inktalez
"Do you think girls are happy?" Hu Ningning suddenly burst into laughter and said, "Is she really happy?"
In Hu Ningning's eyes, I saw a hint of sorrow.
Hu Ningning took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and after a moment, it seemed as if she exhaled the heaviness in her heart. She looked out at the rain still pouring outside and said, "Then let me tell you a story about a girl."
I shrugged and replied, "I'm all ears."
Hu Ningning began to speak slowly: "There was this girl whose parents had to go out to work when she was very young. At that age, girls are very clingy. She tried every means to keep her parents with her—she cried, she threw tantrums, but nothing worked."
"They went out to work so you could have a better life," I said.
Hu Ningning pouted and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, back then I was too young to understand my parents' struggles. If it were now, I would definitely understand. But it's normal for parents to go out to work to support the family, and it's also normal for children to want their parents by their side."
"Who is at fault?" Hu Ningning looked at me seriously and asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and replied, "No one is at fault. But that's just how life is. There are many girls like you, but other girls don't lie, they don't bully others, they aren't two-faced, and they certainly don't abuse others or commit murder."
Hu Ningning shook her head and revealed a sly smile. "That's because those people are too foolish. Do you watch TV, brother?"
"TV?" I asked. "What does that have to do with anything?"
Hu Ningning said, "Have you ever seen on TV that life is like playing poker? Some people are born with a good hand; no matter how they play, they can win. But some are born with a bad hand; it all depends on how the player plays it. You know what? The difference between me and others is that I can play this bad hand well."
"Some people follow the rules with their bad hand; they think that's their fate and just play along without hoping to win—only wishing not to lose completely. I'm different; I have a bad hand, but I'm not willing to accept that."
A nine-year-old girl, yet her insights about life seemed to rival those of some elderly people. I couldn't quite grasp how a girl of her age could arrive at such conclusions.
"You have to fight for what you want, no matter what means you use in the process; that doesn't matter. What matters is that you have it," Hu Ningning said, gazing outside. "When I was younger, my family was very poor—so poor that we didn't even have a television or a radio, nothing at all."
It felt strange to hear a nine-year-old speak of her past like this.
But Hu Ningning continued, "With nothing at all, you don't understand what it's like to be laughed at by others. During the New Year, while other families enjoyed dumplings, my family couldn't. Why? Because after I was born, my mother fell seriously ill, and it wasn't until I was old enough to understand that she got better."
"When I became aware of things, I realized that all the money in our household went to my mother's medical bills. Thankfully, my mother recovered, but we were left with no money. It turned out that we had everything before I was born, but after my arrival, we lost it all. Everyone whispered behind my back that I was a disaster; even fortune tellers said I had a bad fate and would face troubles in the future."
Hu Ningning smiled lightly, as if recounting someone else's story without any personal emotion: "When I was three years old, my mother decided to go work in the city to find my father. Our family owed a lot of money; even my grandfather planned to go work, but my parents stopped him."
"Children are always meant to play outside. Do you know how the villagers looked at me with glee? During the New Year, I couldn't even have one meal of dumplings. When I visited others during the holiday, they would say, 'Bark like a dog and we'll give you meat.'"
I frowned as I listened to Hu Ningning recount her story.
"They would give me meat as long as I barked like a dog. They weren't much older than me; how did they know these things? Their parents were right there but treated it as mere child’s play and didn’t care at all. I wanted dumplings; I wanted meat. So, I barked like a dog until I turned five."
Hu Ningning smiled again and said, "By the time I was five, our debts were finally paid off. Things started to improve at home; we could finally eat meat. But from that moment on, I understood that no matter what children did, adults wouldn’t pay attention. Just like those older kids who made me bark like a dog and fed me like one—they thought it was just child’s play."
"But the truly interesting thing is that while they saw it as mere play among children, they regarded me as lowly for being a girl. People believe girls should be raised well; otherwise, they might succumb to temptation and do something regrettable. They had a point—just for a piece of meat, I would bark like a dog. What about later?"
I suddenly realized that adults spoke about any child in this manner—what does a child really understand?
Hu Ningning continued, "When I was five years old, I went to Dongxing City for the first time. Dongxing City is so big, you must know that. I couldn't understand why, even though we weren't that far away, Dongxing City was so wonderful while our village was so poor. I had KFC for the first time, and it was delicious. Although I've eaten it many times since, it never tasted as good as that first time; it was simply the best thing I had ever eaten."
"Really?" I asked shyly.
Hu Ningning nodded, still devoid of any emotion. "Yes, my mother and I remember that taste of KFC. From now on, you too will be someone who has eaten KFC, not worse than anyone else in the village. You can come to Dongxing City and eat KFC too."
Suddenly, a determined light flickered in Hu Ningning's eyes as she spoke, "When I was five, I firmly remembered what my mother said: I am someone who has eaten KFC. The more those people looked down on me, the more I wanted to excel everywhere."
Hu Ningning snorted coldly. "When I was at home, I self-studied the first-grade curriculum for a year. Fortunately, my family improved significantly. So when I was five, I started kindergarten, and every time I took a test there, I came in first place. Suddenly, people in the village realized that I had grown up to be a good candidate for university; I was the only hope for the village."
Hu Ningning laughed heartily. "Isn't it funny? They seem to have forgotten how they evaluated me a year ago. So you need to understand that because you're just a child, no matter what you do, they won't care. As long as your grades are good and you have a chance to get into university, they will support you."
"So your grades are excellent; you've always been first," I said.
Hu Ningning shrugged. "To play a bad hand well isn't just about being smart; you have to work incredibly hard for others to see you as talented. I love watching TV; it teaches us a lot. Intelligence is mostly determined by genetics, but if you want to be at the top of the pyramid, a little intelligence combined with two hundred percent effort is enough to make you one of that twenty percent."
"In this society, if you pay attention, there's nothing you can't obtain. My family's situation is decent now, but there are many wealthier people at school than me. I want to play with toys and eat good food without spending my family's money. But I've realized that barking like a dog is never the right way to go about it; is there a way to make those people willingly give me things?"
I stared at Hu Ningning. "So you started using various means to get what you wanted?"
"Of course," Hu Ningning stood up and asked. "I make friends with those who are willing to be friends with me, but if they aren't willing to share, then I'll have to use some tactics."
"For example, did you form a gang?" I asked.
Hu Ningning smiled and said, "It's quite simple, as long as you know what they need. Some people need fresh animal corpses, some just need you to understand them, some want to be with good students, and some just need a girl who can read books with them. As long as you know what they want, controlling them gradually becomes an easy task."
"So you use these bullies to achieve your goals. The things you like and the people you dislike, they can help you solve those problems. Even when you told Zhang Zijun and Ha Li Min who abused their child, they believed you because you knew the details so well; after all, it was you who let them do those things."
Hu Ningning looked at me as if I were foolish and said, "Even if I'm not their leader, would they stop bullying others? Even if I don't do this, would they become good kids? I'm just using these cards; they are like this by nature. Can I really educate them?"
"Becoming the kind of person one wants to be is a choice everyone makes for themselves. I can't control that; I just do what seems right in front of me," Hu Ningning continued.
"Are you afraid of being poor?" I looked at this nine-year-old girl and slowly said, "You're only nine; is it really that serious?"
"Nine?" Hu Ningning replied. "Like you, still doing a job that pays only a few thousand dollars in your twenties? Do you know how much the world's most expensive sports cars cost? Do you know how much it costs to have an authentic Western meal? Do you know there are over two hundred countries in the world? Don't you want any of that? Don't you want to eat or travel?"
No matter how old a person is, once they get trapped in that world, there's no way out.
"What about the others? What about Gu Hui?" I asked. "Why did you want to kill Gu Hui? Were you afraid Gu Hui would reveal your secret?"
"No."
Hu Ningning looked at me with a hint of a smile in her eyes.
"I'm just happy."
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