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墨書 Inktalez
Standing on the brightly lit street, Jiang Wen suddenly felt a bit lost.
If only time could forever freeze in that early summer when they first met, how wonderful it would be.
At sixteen, Jiang Wen wore a clean shirt, his sharp and handsome features made him the kind of boy that girls at school admired but dared not approach.
The glaring sun cast dappled shadows of trees onto the ground as Feng Ning walked carefree past him.
She smiled at him, her eyes sparkling with light.
From that moment on, he was captivated by her brilliance.
*
The next afternoon, Feng Ning received a call about a food delivery.
Stepping out of the classroom, she realized it had started to drizzle. The raindrops were fine, and only a few people were holding umbrellas.
At the school gate, a young man in a yellow shirt handed her a cup of milk tea, the one she had ordered on Jiang Wen's phone yesterday.
Feng Ning stood frozen for a moment as if paralyzed. It wasn't until others urged her that she snapped back to reality, thanked him, and took the milk tea.
She carried it forward without returning to the classroom, heading instead to the playground where she had once strolled with Jiang Wen.
Her phone vibrated.
- Feng Ning, I’m back at school.
She lowered her head, staring at the text message. In an instant, she felt a sense of relief, yet her heart throbbed with a dull pain that gradually spread. It was as if a stone was pressing down on her, making it hard to breathe.
The rain began to pour, soaking her shirt. Feng Ning sat on the bleachers of the playground, resting her chin on her hands, staring blankly ahead.
After finishing her milk tea, she replied to Jiang Wen with a message:
"Okay, bye."
Her phone vibrated again:
"Mm."
This should be the end.
Deleting their conversation, Feng Ning put her phone away and walked down the steps one by one.
There was a line in Spirited Away that said when someone who has been with you for a long time is about to leave, even if you are reluctant, you should feel grateful and wave goodbye.
Our journey has come to an end.
If you must go,
Please be a little gentler when you leave me.
Meng Taoyu had come back to school to visit Feng Ning a few times. She was still the same as when they were in high school—bare-faced and with a pure little face.
On Saturday night, they chose a hot pot restaurant.
The thick soup in the pot was boiling, and Feng Ning watched as her little face turned red from the spiciness. She used her chopsticks to help Meng Taoyu cook vegetables, meatballs, and meat.
"Ning Ning, why aren't you eating?"
Feng Ning replied, "I'm full. You go ahead and eat; don't worry about me."
Meng Taoyu exclaimed, "I haven't seen you eat much. Has your appetite gotten so small?"
Feng Ning's complexion was pale, and she didn't look well; her features had become quite delicate. She took off her coat, revealing a blue sweater. Perhaps the neckline was too loose, as her collarbone formed a subtle line, making her appear somewhat thin and empty.
Meng Taoyu instinctively asked, "Ning Ning, are you feeling unwell?"
"Uh?" She told a little lie: "A bit. My period started a couple of days ago."
"Oh, I see. I thought you were just in a bad mood."
As soon as she said it, she felt it was inappropriate. Meng Taoyu vaguely knew about Feng Ning's family situation and feared she might touch on a painful topic. She quickly changed the subject, "Don't put too much pressure on yourself. You're so capable; you'll definitely get into a good university."
Feng Ning put down her chopsticks and said lightly, "You little one, when did I ever need your comfort?"
University starts its break earlier than high school. A few days later, Shuang Yao and Zhao Weichen came together. They arrived during a class break, and Shuang Yao casually pulled a girl who was about to enter the classroom for a chat. The girl surprisingly reacted, "Feng Ning... is there someone by that name in our class?"
Shuang Yao was astonished: "Isn't this Class Thirteen?"
The girl suddenly realized: "Oh, oh, you mean that repeater, right?"
"Yes."
As the girls entered the classroom, Zhao Weichen was still a bit puzzled. "Sister Ning has changed her style; she's so low-key now? The semester is almost over, and there are still people in class who don't know her."
Feng Ning took a day off from class to accompany them around campus. When it was time to leave, Zhao Weichen hugged Feng Ning. Shuang Yao squeezed her hand, saying, "You still have us."
Zhao Weichen added, "Sister Ning, no matter how much time passes, you will always be my idol."
Feng Ning smiled lightly.
No one could see the shackles hidden beneath her smile.
*
The impression that Class 13 of the senior year had of Feng Ning was that she was cold and aloof, taciturn and solitary, not fond of talking to others. No one connected this introverted ice beauty with the dazzling girl from the Opening Ceremony.
The class teacher must have consulted Teacher Tie about Feng Ning's situation beforehand. He knew that before her leave of absence, her grades had always been among the top in her grade—diligent and intelligent—so he paid special attention to her in all aspects. However, Feng Ning had jumped straight from Sophomore to Senior Year, and initially struggled to keep up with the learning pace, with her grades lingering outside the top hundred.
Under the immense pressure of senior year, the girls would often take breaks to discuss various gossip.
Occasionally, Feng Ning would hear Jiang Wen's name mentioned among them.
His photo hung in the glass display next to the Honor Roll, forever frozen at seventeen. Dressed in a blue and white school uniform, with short black hair and sharp features, he quietly locked eyes with every passerby who stopped to look.
From the moment she opened her eyes in the morning, Feng Ning felt like a machine wound up against her will, operating numbly. Until night fell, the spinning screws tightened until the last turn. Lying in bed, her mind became very still and blank. Closing her eyes, she felt herself sinking deeper and deeper until she slowly faded away from this world.
The winter break of that senior year was the coldest and slowest winter in Feng Ning's memory. She seemed to gradually fall silent and freeze along with the season.
On New Year's Day, with a strong festive atmosphere for Spring Festival in the air, after sweeping the tomb for Qilan, Feng Ning didn't want to go home and took a bus to the busiest square in South City.
Two children, around six or seven years old, were fighting over a toy. Feng Ning walked around the square twice before sitting down nearby. She listened to the Vagabond Singer playing the guitar and singing a few love songs, then tossed a coin into his bowl.
Feng Ning stood at the bus stop, gazing at the sign that displayed every branching route and destination. She didn’t know where to go; she had no purpose.
The next bus to arrive was Route 425, the most frequent one in the city.
Feng Ning boarded the bus, holding a candied hawthorn stick in one hand while reaching into her pocket with the other. The bus wasn’t crowded; there were scattered empty seats.
After taking a few steps back, for some reason, Feng Ning suddenly slowed her pace.
The person sitting by the window turned their gaze, their eyes fixed on her without blinking.
Many years later, Feng Ning's impression of Jiang Wen remained stuck at this moment.
It seemed like only a few seconds had passed, yet she remembered every detail of that scene vividly.
The bus was warm, and the windows were fogged up. He sat alone in the second-to-last row. The melted snow had soaked the ground beneath her feet, while outside, shops played New Year’s songs. Jiang Wen's hair had grown a bit longer, the ends frayed and covering his eyebrows. He still wore a dark blue coat.
A very cold color.
Their eyes met, and she froze for a moment, her steps halted. She opened her mouth, but her throat felt as if it were stuffed with cotton.
No sound... could escape.
Jiang Wen lowered his eyelashes.
In the end, Feng Ning said nothing. She lowered her head and slowly turned away to find a seat.
They sat in the same bus, separated by several rows, in silence.
The bus reached an intersection; the green light lit up, and it turned a corner, arriving at the next stop. Soon, many people boarded—adults holding children's hands, the crowd swaying as they filled every empty seat.
People stood in the aisle as well.
After two more stops, Feng Ning stood up and made her way through the crowded passengers to get off.
Her foot landed on a manhole cover, making a soft sound. Gray clouds hung overhead, and a gust of wind swept through, lifting a few strands of hair that hung at her waist.
Before long, she heard a noise behind her. Feng Ning continued walking down the wide street without looking back.
*
After the New Year passed, on a day in April, Feng Ning received a call from Zhao Binlin. He asked, "Feng Ning, how have you been lately?"
She paused her pen and replied, "I'm doing well."
"Oh, that's good to hear."
"What about Jiang Wen? How is he?"
"Jiang Wen..." Zhao Binlin hesitated for a moment. "He's doing well too. He just received offers from several Ivy League schools and has already withdrawn from his current school to prepare for studying abroad."
Upon hearing this news, Feng Ning felt a bit dazed. She stared blankly for a moment but quickly regained her composure. "Really? That seems so sudden."
Zhao Binlin sounded surprised. "He didn't tell you?"
"He changed his phone number, and we haven't been in touch for a long time," Feng Ning said frankly.
Zhao Binlin hesitated for a moment before responding, "I thought he would at least say goodbye to you."
Feng Ning was taken aback.
A scene flashed in her mind.
Suddenly, she recalled that day—New Year's Day—when she ran into Jiang Wen on the 425 bus.
She didn't ask him anything, nor did she turn around.
She had no idea how long he had been sitting there before her, nor did she know if he got off the bus after her.
Perhaps... that was the goodbye he never voiced.
"Well, I’ll get back to studying now."
"Goodbye, and good luck."
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