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In that moment, Yang Feiwen suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to cry out loud, but she didn’t. She simply let the tears flow silently, and in the end, she didn’t even know what she was crying for. It felt like she was crying for her good friend’s misfortune, yet it also felt like she had been crying for herself all along.
Jiang He watched the girl before him. On her not-so-pretty face, he saw the tears streaming down. Yet, she made not a sound, as if she were completely mute. Jiang He had seen many people cry, but he still didn’t understand how to truly cry or what real sorrow felt like.
Xu Yiman had told him that he would see many people cry in the future, and Jiang He believed her.
That night, Yang Feiwen couldn’t sleep at all. She stared out at the torrential rain and spent the entire night awake.
The heavy rain washed away the dirt and filth from the streets, making them look freshly paved. However, the rain could not cleanse the impurities within people's hearts. That night, Yang Feiwen made a plan. She wanted to take revenge for Qin Qingxue because ever since that rainy day, she had tasted what it meant to feel helpless.
There was no one to confide in; all her suffering had to be swallowed down deep inside.
Don’t be sad; you are not alone.
Yang Feiwen understood that feeling.
The first task was to confirm her suspicions. Although she had already guessed the truth of the matter almost perfectly during that rainy night, Yang Feiwen still needed certainty. There was someone who could help her confirm it—she found this person named Kong Anping.
Kong Anping was unguarded; he trembled as he recounted what had happened to Yang Feiwen.
That night, he waited for Qin Qingxue but saw the classroom lights go out instead. After waiting a moment, Kong Anping deduced that Qin Qingxue should be at the bicycle shed, so he went down to look for her. However, in the hot and humid Underground Bicycle Shed, illuminated only by distant glimmers of light, Kong Anping witnessed what was happening inside.
He watched as his beloved woman was bullied by others. He wanted to say something but couldn’t find his voice. Everyone has fantasized about being a hero saving a damsel in distress, but only when faced with such a situation do you realize whether you are a hero or a coward.
Kong Anping finally understood that he was merely a coward because he felt as if his legs were filled with lead; he stood there dumbfounded. The dark Underground Bicycle Shed obscured his vision, but he could clearly hear the sounds—the violent noises and Qin Qingxue’s painful cries.
He was stunned, his mind blank until he heard Zhuang Ziming threatening Qin Qingxue. At that moment, it was as if he came back to life; then he turned and ran. Kong Anping clutched his umbrella tightly. Countless times in the pouring rain, he wanted to turn back, but he didn’t dare.
Sometimes, people just cannot see themselves clearly.
When Kong Anping heard Zhuang Ziming's words, he realized the truth about himself. Indeed, Zhuang Ziming's family was much more powerful than his own. If he helped Qin Qingxue, wouldn't that put his family in jeopardy? Moreover, despite how many times he had asked, Qin Qingxue had never crossed any lines with him; now she had given in to Zhuang Ziming.
With this thought, Kong Anping inexplicably began to resent Qin Qingxue. It was all her fault; she had brought this upon herself.
Sometimes, people are very good at comforting themselves.
After hearing everything, Yang Feiwen embraced Kong Anping. As he was held by Yang Feiwen, a warm feeling blossomed in Kong Anping's heart, making him forget all about the events of that rainy night. He cried in Yang Feiwen's arms, unsure of what to do. He didn't know whether to call the police, but even if he did, what would happen to Qin Qingxue's family?
Yang Feiwen gently patted his back and told him not to be afraid. If he wanted, she could accompany him on a trip.
Losing something beloved is undoubtedly sorrowful, but if something better comes along to replace it, then one would never feel sadness. Holding onto his Yang Feiwen, who excelled academically—though not particularly good-looking but tall and pleasantly soft to the touch—Kong Anping thought that if she suggested going on a trip together, perhaps he might even take her hand.
Kong Anping embraced Yang Feiwen and agreed.
He told his family that he wanted some time alone outside, and they consented.
Yang Feiwen smiled at Kong Anping.
Qin Qingxue, can you see from below? This is the person you liked.
Yang Feiwen led Kong Anping to that house by the sea. Little did he know that this time he came here, there would be no turning back.
Yang Feiwen was fully prepared as they stood at the edge of the cliff.
“Do you know that Qin Qingxue committed suicide?” Yang Feiwen said lightly, not looking at Kong Anping.
Kong Anping lowered his head. He didn’t look at Yang Feiwen or the waves crashing below the cliff; he simply nodded.
Yang Feiwen asked again, “You know that Qin Qingxue and I were the best of friends. She once recited a poem to me: ‘When mountains crumble and seas dry up.’ This was the first love poem you recited to her, right? It signifies that your feelings for each other will remain unchanged until the end of time, is that so?”
Yang Feiwen turned her gaze toward Kong Anping.
Under Yang Feiwen’s cold stare and invisible pressure, Kong Anping finally spoke, “It was my promise to Qin Qingxue.”
Yang Feiwen nodded and pointed to the rolling waves. “Kong Anping, your studies are quite good; you must have learned geography. Do you know how long it takes for the waves to erode this place into what it is now?”
Kong Anping didn’t understand why Yang Feiwen suddenly asked this question but answered nonetheless, “Thousands of years, maybe tens of thousands.”
Yang Feiwen nodded seriously and said, “Exactly. A promise made on mountains and seas lasts until they dry up. Look at these cliffs; it took thousands or even tens of thousands of years for them to become like this, and they will endure for millennia more. Perhaps ancient people once stood where we are now, having conversations just like ours. But humans—who can live for a thousand years or ten thousand?”
Kong Anping didn’t know how to respond.
Yang Feiwen ignored him and said, “Take off your jacket. I want the ocean and stones that will never fade over millennia to witness what happens next.”
Kong Anping didn’t expect the usually reserved Yang Feiwen to be so direct and bold. He hesitated, but Yang Feiwen kept urging him on. In this secluded spot by the cliff where no one would come, Kong Anping finally let go of himself, completely unencumbered.
Yang Feiwen stared at Kong Anping, making him feel uncomfortable all over.
“Touch me here,” Yang Feiwen said to Kong Anping.
Kong Anping reached in, feeling the gentleness of Yang Feiwen. He had never touched a girl's softness before, but he knew that skin could not feel like this. Surprised, he pulled his hand back and looked at it, discovering that his fingers were stained with a patch of red.
"What is this?" he asked in confusion.
Yang Feiwen smiled and took out a soft box from her coat. "This is a mold that can create fingerprints."
"But what do you need my fingerprint for?" Kong Anping still couldn't figure it out.
Yang Feiwen slowly walked over to Kong Anping and said, "As I mentioned earlier, I want the eternal nature of the ocean and stones, which have remained unchanged for thousands or even millions of years, to witness what I am doing today. The ocean has existed for billions of years, yet we humans are so insignificant; in the river of time, we hardly count for anything."
Jiang He noticed Yang Feiwen standing up. She walked over to the window and pushed it open.
Yang Feiwen gazed out the window. "With just this push, Kong Anping fell into the sea. I didn't even see him surface from the waves; he just died like that."
After exchanging questions and answers, Yang Feiwen finally spoke more than just one sentence. She turned to Jiang He and asked, "Why is human life so fragile?"
Jiang He shook her head. "Compared to any other creature in this world, our lives are actually the least fragile."
Yang Feiwen looked at Jiang He again and asked, "I seem to understand a bit now, but if humans are not so fragile, why is it that only the seemingly strong choose to end their own lives?"
It was a sudden question, one that Jiang He would not have an answer for.
Among all living beings, only humans commit suicide, yet human medicine is the most advanced among all species. Humans fear death while continuously improving medical standards; their average lifespan keeps increasing. Yet on the other hand, the number of people who take their own lives continues to rise.
Are humans afraid of death or not?
Jiang He found himself at a loss for words.
Those who chose to end their lives—were they unable to see the light, or had they finally come to terms with it?
He glanced at Yang Feiwen, who was silent and looking down. She smiled lightly and said, "You can't understand, can you? Honestly, I can't either. But I can share how I feel right now. It's like suddenly not wanting to do anything at all, as if a string in my mind has snapped. Living just feels particularly exhausting."
Jiang He looked at Yang Feiwen, who was now very close to the window. Her hand rested on the sill as she leaned forward. He had an eighty percent chance of believing she was about to jump. Although they were on the second floor, there were iron railings outside designed to prevent anyone from climbing in. The sharp edges on top meant that jumping from here could result in a fatal fall onto those railings.
Yang Feiwen had already climbed onto the window ledge.
Jiang He knew that no matter how fast he ran, he would never reach her in time to save her unless she decided to come down on her own.
So he stood still, not moving, and said, "There's one thing I still don't understand. The beginning of life is something no one can choose, but humans can choose when to end their lives. That is a personal choice. However, on the night Qin Qingxue took her life, she wasn't the only one."
Jiang He asked, "Qin Qingxue couldn't afford many expensive snacks, yet you loved ice cream the most. You were with her when she decided to end her life, but you didn't stop her! Why did you do that?"
Yang Feiwen did not answer; instead, she leaped backward.
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