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墨書 Inktalez
"Mu Yan, let's meet." Liu Chaochao's suggestion was like a shooting star streaking across the night sky, instantly igniting ripples in my heart.
I paused in front of the screen, countless possible scenarios flashing through my mind. The thought of meeting Chaochao, the person I had been quietly following, was incredibly exciting. "Meet? Of course!" I tried to mask my excitement, keeping my tone as calm as possible.
"Or... Mu Yan, what kind of girl do you like? Do you have a girlfriend? It seems like we've never chatted with voice before; I'm really curious about how you sing," she asked, her words seeming more like a probe into my innermost thoughts. I smiled slightly, wondering if this topic could reveal my true identity to her.
"Well... actually, I'm single," I mustered the courage to reply, though my heart was racing. "The kind of girl I like... I suppose it would be someone who has dreams and loves music."
"Yeah, me too." Her voice carried a hint of sweetness and joy. "My birthday is on the 20th of next month. Can I invite you to celebrate it with me?"
That sentence made my heart race as if it were a dream. Instantly, I envisioned that day: she smiling while cutting the cake, and I watching her in happiness. What could I do? The intertwining feelings of anticipation and nervousness made me grip my phone tightly.
"Of course! I'm really looking forward to celebrating with you," I responded, trying to keep my voice light.
"That's great! I'm a bit excited," she seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, her tone much brighter.
Then, suddenly, a wild idea sprang from the depths of my heart. For this special birthday, I decided to write thirty love letters, documenting my feelings for her while also expressing my support for her musical dreams. Moreover, I wanted us to co-create a song about love and dreams together.
" Chaochao, I have an idea," I said slowly. "We could write a piece together about your pursuit of dreams and our feelings. It would be special to perform it for each other on your birthday."
"Wow, that's an amazing idea!" Her voice was filled with surprise. "We can discuss the melody and lyrics together; I'm really looking forward to it!"
"Yes, let's work hard together and build our rapport." I felt excitement rising within me. "This song will be the starting point for us to understand each other better."
"Absolutely! I believe we can create something heartfelt." Her tone was full of confidence, and that sense of resonance stirred my emotions.
In the following days, I immersed myself in this upcoming plan, writing letter after letter filled with deep feelings for her. In terms of music creation, we began frequent exchanges—conceiving melodies and discussing lyrics—this shared effort seemed to bind us closely together.
I knew all of this was for that day—the day that belonged to her birthday—and for every letter and every lyric written for her. No matter what the future held, I hoped she could feel my support and affection for her.
"It’s like flowers colliding with spring winds; when encountering all things, all things are but cups and bows; when seeing you, you are a stunning swan."
The events began on the day Xiao Han dropped out of school for a refund.
I still remember that night when Liu Chaochao's message popped up on my phone, filled with urgency and unease. Her good friend Xiao Han had to drop out due to her family needing money urgently. Chaochao wrote in her message: "Mu Yan, did you know? Xiao Han gave up her music course for her family. Thinking about how she worked hard to save her dreams only to hit pause suddenly makes me really sad."
Seeing that message made me feel sorry for her; I even felt a bit scared—what if she asked about the tuition fees? Sure enough, just a few minutes later, Chaochao sent another message: "Mu Yan, can you tell me what's going on with my tuition fees? Someone paid a large part of it for me. Who is that person?"
Seeing her question made my heart sink. This was what I feared most—I only wanted to quietly protect her musical path and give her some support so she could pursue her dreams without worries. Doing all this under the identity of "Mu Yan," I never intended for her to find out. But now she clearly started to suspect.
The next day, I indeed received a message from the teacher saying that Chaochao had gone to ask about the tuition fees persistently. She truly had a stubborn streak; any question needed thorough investigation. Worrying silently inside me left me helpless as I could only wait for her reaction.
A few days later, I received a message from Chaochao starting with: "Mu Yan, did you secretly help pay my tuition fees?"
Seeing those words left me at a loss. Everything I'd wanted to hide had now been uncovered by her. After a moment of silence and with my heart racing fast, I slowly typed on the screen: "You found out... Yes, Chaochao; I just hope you can continue pursuing music without being held back by tuition issues."
After sending that message, I felt much lighter inside. Perhaps this was all my heartfelt intention towards her.
She quickly replied, "Thank you, Mu Yan. Really... you have no idea how important your help is to me."
Her words warmed my heart, as if all those days of silent support finally received a response. The small text on the screen conveyed her sincerity. She didn’t blame me or see my actions as overstepping; instead, she was filled with gratitude. In that moment, an indescribable happiness surged within me.
Then she sent another message that took my breath away: "Mu Yan, I feel... we are no longer just friends."
I was stunned, staring at the words repeatedly, my heart skipping a beat. Chaochao's feelings for me were more than just friendship? Her sincerity mirrored my own feelings for her, transcending mere friendship?
It took me a few seconds to regain my composure, and with slightly trembling fingers, I typed a response: " Chaochao, I also hope we can grow closer."
At that moment, all the repression, restraint, and silent protection found a response in her words. I could finally face my feelings openly, no longer just the "Mu Yan" who quietly supported her from the shadows. Our relationship was no longer just that of friends.
---
In the days that followed, Chaochao and I collaborated on a song about love's fulfillment. This song was not just a product of our collaboration; it felt like a declaration of our feelings for each other. Whenever we discussed lyrics and melodies, a sweet anticipation filled my heart, as if this song was gradually expressing my emotions for her.
She wrote in a message: "Mu Yan, this song is like our story. Every lyric and every note expresses my feelings."
Seeing those words made me smile uncontrollably. I replied, " Chaochao, I hope this song becomes a beautiful memory in your heart, witnessing our relationship."
Our creative process was seamless; whenever I suggested something, she immediately understood my intent. Her melodic inspirations sparked new ideas in me. This kind of synergy brought an unprecedented sense of fulfillment. She was not only my musical partner but also the one I wanted to cherish for a lifetime.
During one chat, she suddenly sent a message: "Mu Yan, I feel like every time we create together, there's this sweet feeling that rises within us, as if this song is truly written for us."
Her words made my heart race, as if her emotions were directly transmitted to me through that sentence. I smiled and replied, " Chaochao, it’s because of you that I feel this song is complete."
Whenever we discussed details, I could sense her reliance on me. It seemed she trusted me unconditionally and believed in every suggestion I made. Our relationship quietly warmed during the creation of this song, and the distance between us continued to shrink.
Finally, the last melody of the song was settled. She sent a voice message filled with joy and excitement: "Mu Yan, the song is finally finished! I've never been this happy before; it feels like we've gone on a wonderful journey together."
Hearing her voice filled my heart with satisfaction. I knew this song was not just a piece in her musical journey but also a testament to our emotions.
So I replied, " Chaochao, this is our song, the story we wrote together."
Her response carried a gentle smile: "Yes, this is our story."
Letter One
Chaochao:
As I write this first letter, my heart is filled with a mix of anxiety and anticipation. Perhaps this is a belated confession, or maybe I have finally mustered the courage to transform the feelings buried deep within me into words. I have often pondered what draws me to your music and voice time and again. Eventually, I realized it is your voice, like a beam of light, illuminating my tranquil life. Your singing brings warmth and determination, enveloping me in an incredible emotion with every second I listen.
Every song you cover, every note seems to speak to me. Perhaps that is why I resolved to write this letter. I hope you can feel this unspoken affection.
Guarding
---
Letter Seven
Chaochao:
Today, I listened to your new song again and again, as if that melody had already seeped into my very being. Your voice possesses a unique charm that makes me unable to help but imagine how you look while singing—perhaps you gently close your eyes, take a deep breath, and then relax into the music. In that moment, you are so real and beautiful.
I long to approach you and tell you all of this. But each time you look at me, I feign calmness, hiding everything deep inside. Maybe this letter is my only way of protecting myself. The feelings I cannot express aloud are carried by these words.
Guarding
---
Letter Fifteen
Chaochao:
You once asked me why I was so passionate about music. I didn't answer you because I didn't know how to express it. But now, I want to tell you the answer.
I love music because it takes me into your world. It allows me to see a brave version of you, someone who pursues dreams without hesitation, unafraid of failure or gossip, daring to overcome inner fears. I often wonder if I would have continued to live a mundane life without you, if I would have ever grasped the true essence of music and passion. You have shown me a better version of myself and made me start reevaluating my life.
So, thank you. Thank you for helping me see the person I didn’t even know I could be—someone who can be devoted to love, waiting, cherishing, and hoping.
Guardianship
---
Letter Twenty-One
Chaochao:
In this letter, I want to say something you may have never heard me say before. Do you know? I have been quietly watching over you under the name “Mu Yan,” accompanying you through those times of confusion and loneliness. Whenever you felt lost or joyful because of music, I could empathize with you. The beauty of this silent companionship has captivated me.
I hope I am not just a shadow lurking in the dark but a real and open person standing in front of you, accompanying you on your journey to chase your dreams. Perhaps that day will come soon; perhaps I will forever remain just your “guardian.” Regardless, I want you to know that behind you, there is me.
Guardianship
---
Letter Thirty
Chaochao:
This is my final letter. As I write this, my feelings are more complex than ever. Thirty letters, each one containing my most sincere emotions. And in this last one, there is only one thing I want to say.
“ Chaochao, I like you.”
This sentence has echoed in my heart countless times, yet I've never had the courage to say it out loud. Perhaps today, writing it down is because I can no longer hide this feeling. I admire your voice, your bravery, and your dedication to your dreams. What I cherish most is the passionate way you embrace life every time we meet.
If you are willing, I would like to be your Guardian, not in a secret identity, but as Lin Shohu, accompanying you through every step of the future.
Guarding
On the night after the song was completed, I sat in my room, repeatedly listening to the product of our creation. The melody flowed gently in my ears, and every line of the lyrics told the story between me and Liu Chaochao. Each note and every twist carried my feelings for her and the countless times I had silently protected her. I knew she infused her emotions for “Mu Yan” into this song, while I poured all my thoughts and love into this melody.
This song was a silent vow between us, a secret that belonged only to her and me. And I knew it was time to confess, to let her understand the real me behind “Mu Yan”— Lin Shohu.
Three days before her birthday, I arranged to meet her as Lin Shohu. We chose a quiet café, where soft lighting rendered the space warm and romantic. I arrived early, my heart swirling with anxiety and anticipation, my palms even slightly sweaty. The feelings I had accumulated over the years were finally going to be expressed word by word in front of her; my emotions were more complex than ever.
Soon after, she pushed open the café door, searching for me with her gaze. Dressed in a pink fluffy coat, she wore an expectant smile on her face, like a ray of morning sunshine. When she sat down in front of me, a hint of amusement appeared on her face: “ Lin Shohu, what important thing do you want to tell me? You look so serious.”
I smiled back, took a deep breath, and tried to calm myself: “ Chaochao, there’s something I want to tell you today. It might come as a surprise to you.”
She blinked, a look of confusion crossing her face, but she still maintained her usual smile: “Oh? Is it that mysterious?”
Looking into her eyes, I felt that the words hidden deep within me could finally be spoken. “ Chaochao, actually… I am Mu Yan.”
As soon as my words fell, I saw her expression change instantly—from shock to disbelief. She slightly parted her lips as if struggling to accept this sudden revelation.
“You mean… you are Mu Yan?” Her voice trembled slightly, clearly impacted by the news.
I nodded and softly explained: “Yes, Chaochao. From the first time we chatted at Starlit Music, to recommending music to you later on, and quietly supporting you in signing up for music training… I have always been by your side as ‘Mu Yan.’”
She paused for a moment; her gaze gradually softened as warmth spread across her face. “So it was you… All along, the ‘Mu Yan’ I liked was actually Lin Shohu. No wonder every time we talked, there was an inexplicable sense of familiarity.”
Hearing those words made my heart finally relax; a long-lost sense of relief washed over me. Perhaps her feelings for Mu Yan were indeed feelings for me, and now I no longer had to hide behind any identity.
“ Chaochao, I like you.” The words slipped out before I could stop them. Suddenly feeling shy under her gaze, I hesitated to continue confessing and instead handed her Plan B—my thirty simple letters of affection. “What I want to say might need you to read through these.”
She read each letter seriously; as she progressed through them, tears began to well up in her eyes. Twenty minutes passed before she revealed a warm smile that seemed to indicate she had already accepted my delayed confession.
“Guardian, thank you for always being by my side,” she said softly, her voice carrying a gentle warmth. “I thought I was chasing an illusory ‘Mu Yan’, but little did I know that the person who truly attracted me had always been right beside me.”
We just stared at each other, eyes full of understanding and tacit understanding. At that moment, I knew that all my waiting, guarding and forbearance had been responded to. We smiled at each other, as if nothing in the world could stop our connection. "So, in the days to come, are you willing to let me continue to accompany you? No longer as 'Mu Yan', but as Lin Shohu." I asked tentatively, with a hint of expectation in my tone. She nodded and smiled and replied, "Of course, I'm looking forward to it." "Wow, it's snowing!" Suddenly, someone shouted excitedly. Chaochao and I looked out the window at the same time, and there was a fine snowflake falling from the sky. Suddenly, it seemed as if this snow was the chatter of my interaction with Chaochao for more than a year. "Wow, it's really snowing. The first snow of this winter has arrived at this moment." Chaochao said, staring at the falling snow with a sharp gaze. "Just like blessing us, the moment you agreed to my confession, the messenger of blessing came." "Then let's go out for a walk in the snow." Chaochao suggested. "Okay, let's get wet in the same snow today, and we will grow old together for the rest of our lives." I suddenly felt mischievous and said so. We talked for a long time that day, about our music, about our feelings for each other, and about our vision for the future. We talked about the performance of new songs, future plans, and even imagined a small concert. All dreams were full of reality and hope from the moment we recognized each other. From that day on, we no longer hid our feelings, but faced each other frankly. On her birthday, we posted the song about love that we co-wrote on the music platform. Every note and every lyric in the song is a story between us. The days when we protected and accompanied each other finally became eternal in music. This song quickly received enthusiastic feedback from the audience. They left a message in the comment area, saying that the song brought a sweet and warm feeling, as if it was a portrayal of the true feelings of two people. The story between me and Chaochao has finally come to a perfect end. Perhaps, this song is not only for us, but also for all the souls who are chasing their dreams, telling them that no matter how difficult it is, sincere emotions and dreams will eventually reach the other side of happiness and perfection. That night, Liu Chaochao and I stood under the starry sky and silently held each other's hands. The vast starry sky was like a star that opened its mouth to bless, the stars were shining, and we hummed the song "Nianmu" that belonged to us, and the thousands of love words in our hearts stretched infinitely along the long coastline.
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