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On the way to the Thousand Threads Pavilion, Chou Xuanji's lighthearted and slightly teasing words kept echoing in my mind: "It doesn't matter if you lose your rice bowl, I can support you anyway. Hey, how many bowls of rice can you eat in a day?"
I felt a mix of emotions. As a person of the jianghu, I have always been proud of being self-reliant and independent. How could I accept charity from others? Moreover, if I really started living off someone else, wouldn't my reputation in the jianghu be ruined in an instant?
I sneak a glance at Chou Xuanji, who is leaning against the carriage with his arms crossed, his gaze through the window seemingly enjoying the scenery along the way, yet also seemingly observing me in secret. His "you're an idiot" expression annoys me, but I can't help it.
"If I take care of you, will you still go out and mess around?" Chou Xuanji suddenly turns his head, his tone tinged with a hint of teasing.
"I know that your Huashan Sword Sect often adopts stray orphans, but I am already an adult, and I can support myself." I defended myself, trying to maintain what little pride I had.
Chou Xuanji stared at me in surprise, with a look that seemed to say, "Why are you so clueless?" I felt a bit wronged, as I really didn't know what I had said wrong.
I do indeed run around in the world every day, and I am truly exhausted to the point of wanting to cry, but I know that as a person, I still have my integrity. It's just that when I think about the uncertainty of my future life and the prospect of returning to days of exposure to the elements, a sense of bitterness wells up in my heart, and I can't help but cry again.
Chou Xuanji saw how heartbroken I was when I cried, and silently waited for me to finish wailing, expressing willingness to cover for me, willing to bear the reputation of a scoundrel in order to protect my livelihood. How could this be! The world of the jianghu is all about loyalty, how could I let Chou Xuanji bear an undeserved blame for my sake?
Upon hearing these words, I didn't even shed a tear. I bravely rolled up my sleeves and wiped away my tears, saying, "No need! I'll take care of it!" I thought that someone as renowned as Chou Xuanji would at least try to decline a few times to show his grace.
I didn't expect that he would just glance at me with folded arms, and lightly say, "Okay, you take care of it." I was stunned, and my lofty ambitions were instantly doused with cold water, leaving me feeling disheartened once again.
Perhaps this is what they call "you reap what you sow."
I had already prepared a draft, planning to elaborate on my inseparable relationship with Thousand Threads Pavilion in three main chapters and nine subsections in an attempt to salvage it. But as soon as I stepped into the pavilion, everyone's expression upon seeing me was like "you're finished," and I completely lost my confidence.
I pushed open the door to Pavilion Master's room, only to see Pavilion Master sitting upright with an indescribable seriousness and disappointment in his eyes. And standing next to him was my archenemy, Hong Rongguang.
Hong Rongguang, this name always follows me like a shadow in the Thousand Threads Pavilion. He is my biggest competitor.
He always wears a smug smile, which makes me feel extremely disgusted.
At Thousand Threads Pavilion, our competition never stops, from skills to strategy, from connections to reputation, every contest is full of tension.
And at this moment, he stands there, the smile on his face becoming more apparent, as if to say, "See, you finally fell."
"I received the news that Qin Shishi never privately agreed to spend her life with Mr. Chou, exquisite, how do you explain?" Pavilion Master spoke, his voice calm and powerful, but the disappointment contained within almost suffocated me.
I stood in place, my heart filled with mixed emotions.
I thought I could turn the situation around with carefully prepared arguments, but when faced with Pavilion Master's questioning, I found myself speechless.
"What else can you explain?" I thought for a long time, until Pavilion Master stared at me, and Hong Rongguang looked at me lightly.
I covered my face, trying to make the expression of "I was wrong, but I will definitely change, please forgive me." I knew I had lost the chance to defend myself, and my actions had caused irreparable damage to Thousand Threads Pavilion.
"Exquisite, with such a huge mistake, Thousand Threads Pavilion can't keep you." Pavilion Master's voice rang out again, this time without any hesitation or doubt in his tone.
I looked up and saw Pavilion Master with a furrowed brow, pain in his eyes, but more so, determination.
My heart ached as memories flooded back. I remembered him taking me in on a snowy day, providing for me, teaching me the affairs of Thousand Threads Pavilion, making me feel useful.
He did not let me down, and no one in this world has let me down.
I took a deep breath, feeling full of guilt and regret in my heart.
I know that I must take responsibility for my actions and face the consequences.
I stood up and bowed deeply to Pavilion Master: "Pavilion Master, I understand."
I turned around and walked out of the room of the Pavilion Master, leaving behind this place that I once took pride in. As I left the Thousand Threads Pavilion, it seemed as if the sky was bidding me farewell, with a gentle drizzle starting to fall.
I looked up and suddenly saw Chou Xuanji leaning against the big tree outside the door, his figure appearing particularly lonely in the rain.
A mischievous thought suddenly arose in my heart: Is this young hero's leg not well? Otherwise, why does he always like to lean against the tree?
But then I remembered his almost god-like lightness skill, and his graceful figure flashed through my mind. I dismissed the absurd idea. I pinched the introduction letter in my hand, the last gift from the Pavilion Master.
Pavilion Master said that Mingyue Palace is currently recruiting servants for cleaning and sweeping, maybe I can give it a try.
In my heart, I understand that this is the Pavilion Master's last bit of concern for me, and also my only way out.
I glanced at Chou Xuanji as I walked past him, feeling a mix of emotions in my heart.
I always feel that the days I spent traveling with this young hero were like an overly real dream.
During that time, we walked through the streets and alleys of Jinling together, tasted the trotters at Tianxiang Building, listened to traditional opera at Quyi Lou, and released river lanterns by the Qinhuai River. Those beautiful moments were like a dream, and I was intoxicated by them, unwilling to wake up.
When the dream ended, I became once again a wandering traveler, drifting through the world. As for Chou Xuanji, he remained the noble Mr. of the Huashan faction, his world vastly different from mine. A pang of pain struck my heart, and as I left the Thousand Threads Pavilion, I knew there would be no more contact between us.
For so many years, I have traveled alone, wandering the world. Chou Xuanji was the first, and probably the last, person who would take me out to eat, listen to music, and release river lanterns with me. His presence made me feel a warmth and care that I had never experienced before. But I know that all of this is temporary, like a dream that will eventually come to an end.
I have never dared to have too many unrealistic fantasies in my life. For someone who can't even support themselves, how could they have the courage to pursue someone who truly loves them.
I take a deep breath, wipe away the rain on my face, and also wipe away the confusion and reluctance in my heart. The road ahead is still long, and I must go forward alone to face those unknown challenges and difficulties.
I will remember the warmth and joy that Chou Xuanji brought to me, but I will also let go of this past and pursue my own future.
I turned around and walked into the drizzle, into the boundless world.
From now on, I will face the wind and rain alone, and bear the heavy pressure of life alone. As long as I am strong enough and brave enough, one day I will find my own piece of sky and find the person who truly loves me.
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