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墨書 Inktalez
"Why aren't you speaking? Why don't you continue to deceive me? Keep telling me you love me and that you'll give me the best of everything in the world?"
Xiao Man, whether out of pain or frustration, fiercely grabbed his hand and bit down. "Nian Gengyao, speak! Just like before, use those sweet words to fool me, so that I would believe until my dying breath that you truly loved me! It wouldn't be in vain for me to write in every secret report to the Emperor after the battle in Ulan Bator about your loyalty to him..."
She turned her gaze away, quietly looking at him. "My life was destined to be sacrificed and used by you all. The Emperor should never have sent me to get close to you because you could never plot against his throne. In your heart, nothing compares to the glory and wealth the Emperor gives you!"
As she spoke, she held tightly onto his hands—the same hands that had mended his battle clothes countless times under the lamp—finally letting them fall weakly. "I overestimated myself; it turns out the only person you've ever truly loved is yourself!"
"Xiao Man!" Nian Gengyao wanted to say something more, but he saw her gently close her almond-shaped eyes, tears streaming down her face and disappearing into her hair.
Nian Gengyao stood up in a daze, tucked the quilt around her carefully, and gently wiped away the blood and tears from her face before turning to leave.
A flurry of crystalline snowflakes quietly landed on his cheek, melting into a drop of cold water.
In April of Yongzheng's third year, Nian Gengyao was removed from his position as Governor of Sichuan and Shaanxi and reassigned as General of Hangzhou.
In September of the same year, all of Nian Gengyao's official titles were stripped away, and he was escorted to Beijing for trial.
By December, the ministers presented their verdicts to Yongzheng, listing 92 charges against Nian Gengyao: treason, deception, usurpation, arrogance, abuse of power, jealousy, cruelty, greed, and corruption.
Remembering his outstanding achievements and fame, Yongzheng showed mercy and granted him the option to commit suicide in prison.
In the spring of Yongzheng's fourth year,
On this cold spring day, as I hung a three-foot white silk around my neck and felt my consciousness slowly detach from my body, Xiao Man's tear-filled eyes flashed before me one last time.
She never forgave me until her death, leaving this world with a heart full of hatred for me.
But I know that I truly loved her.
I followed Fourth Prince for over twenty years, and I understood what he was thinking.
From the day he sent Xiao Man to my side, it foretold the outcome I face today.
Without me, Xiao Man, who carried my child, would never have walked out of Nian Residence alive.
Just as Xiao Man is no longer here, he can still accuse me of these ninety-two crimes.
When he trusted and needed me, I was General Nian, strict in military discipline and favored by the Emperor, able to convey orders and draft edicts.
But when he no longer trusted or needed me, I became the greedy and cruel "Nian Thief," reckless and tyrannical.
To terminate Xiao Man's pregnancy was because I am Nian Gengyao, an ordinary and foolish person, who has received imperial favor for three lifetimes.
I once vowed before Saint Ancestor Kangxi to repay the Emperor's grace to the best of my ability.
Yet later, the Emperor bestowed upon me so much that I began to believe I was truly above all others, forgetting that the one who stood high above was Fourth Prince, just as strong-willed and arrogant as I am.
I firmly believe that when Xiao Man looked at me in the tent at Qinghai, her face as clear as water and bright as the moon, saying she would rather die by my hand, she meant it.
Just as I firmly believe that there will never be another person in this world who can earn the Emperor's trust to such an extent that he dares not trust anyone else!
I, Nian Gengyao, hope that in my next life, I can be a tree by Xiao Man's side, protecting her for a lifetime of peace.
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