After that incident, Gu Yanshen got involved with a Capitalist Sugar Mommy.
Because of my obsession, I often found myself watching him like a voyeur.
As time passed, I realized that he wasn't doing as well as I thought, and some of his actions were quite puzzling.
Despite being with a Rich Woman who was a Media Tycoon, he lived in a rather low-key manner.
I didn't see any significant rise in his resources; he still seemed to be floundering.
Occasionally, he would be spotted by an Entertainment Reporter, seen out with the 20-year-old G Star and the 50-year-old Media Tycoon, yet he never spoke about it or refuted any claims.
He hadn't taken on many projects in three years, and the few he did were surprisingly terrible.
I couldn't understand what he was after—why he would choose to accompany a woman over thirty years older than him.
I always thought he was crazy; perhaps that was his true love after all.
I couldn't grasp his motivations or his future plans, which made it hard to understand why an actor from a Mainstream Platform would choose to work on our Low-Budget Drama.
But his madness was a blessing in disguise.
I seized this opportunity, even though I was still inexperienced and walking blindly in the dark.
I wanted to try to hurt him, to make him feel what I felt when I was betrayed. That was my first plan.
Unexpectedly, halfway through this plan, I was the first to collapse.
In a daze, I heard him say:
"I will let that person rot in prison. I will make him die, Xin Xin. Just let yourself go."
For a moment, reason returned, and I wore a smile that was more like a cry.
Let myself go? Gu Yanshen, I already let myself go long ago; what I can't let go of is you. You are a devil.
Gu Yanshen sensed my gradual calmness and held me tightly.
"I'm sorry, Xin Xin. It's not like this, it's not like this. Please let me explain."
I struggled to break free from him, but he wouldn't let go. He buried me in his embrace, repeatedly saying he was sorry, that it wasn't like this—like a madman, yet also like a fool.
As I continued to sneer at him, he finally weakened his grip.
I could finally lift my head to see him clearly; his face was streaked with tears.
I found it ironic.
"Gu Yanshen, you don't have to act so pretentiously; it's disgusting."
I pushed him away in disgust, leaving him locked on the bed.
At that moment, the entire room was silent. The director's camera was still rolling, but I had momentarily forgotten whether I was acting or if I was the one being acted upon.
My head spun, and without thinking, I ran out.
...
After that day, it seemed as though both the director and the Cinematography Teacher had forgotten what had happened. Their expressions were unchanged, and everything returned to normal.
Sometimes, I would sneak around, trying to eavesdrop and see if I could catch any gossip about myself.
But there was nothing. No one knew about that day, and no one was aware of my outburst.
The relationship between Gu Yanshen and me grew increasingly strange.
I pretended to be a professional, cautiously testing each other's breaking points while he acted as if we were acquaintances without any grievances.
I could sense that he was trying to please me.
But just because a biting dog wags its tail at me, does that mean I should let go of my disdain for him?
No! I could only see him as a joke.
Yet, gradually, I lowered my guard around him and began to relax on set.
Until that old woman, whom I thought had long since broken up with Gu Yanshen, appeared and shattered the fragile peace I had managed to maintain.
She came to visit the set and ordered a buffet for the crew, chatting and laughing with the director, her face plastered with fillers.
It turned out they hadn’t broken up after all!
I felt nauseous and tried to rush to the restroom to throw up.
But Gu Yanshen stopped me and pulled that woman over. He seemed eager to say something.
In my anger, I cursed them as a couple of dogs, desperately trying to break free.
But Gu Yanshen stubbornly wouldn’t let me go. In the midst of our struggle, that woman suddenly smiled.
She extended her hand towards me and said:
"Long time no see, Miss Lin. Let me introduce myself; my name is Zhang Xiaofeng, and I am Gu Yanshen's mother."
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