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墨書 Inktalez
I always say next time, next time, all the way to the next time after the next time.
As long as it's something I decide, I absolutely can't do it.
It's like a curse.
Is it another night of aimless chatter?
I woke up, but it feels like I was dreaming. Because I had a dream, in an old building, it was ten years ago here, but I don't know which year it was ten years ago. I don't know what to do, just like I am ten years later. I don't know what to do. I don't understand, even if you remember some words, what can you do? People don't do what they understand. Immaturity is a luxury of humanity.
Remembering or understanding are not easy
You can hide in the cabinet, except for being a little hot, it's really safe.
Once I squeezed myself into the cabinet, except for being a little hot, it's really safe. It's the first time I enjoyed the heat so much, I felt it was bearable. I pretended to be hiding something, suddenly realizing that I was just like the protagonist in a horror game. I understand why they hold their breath, it's really obvious to breathe in such a small space. I imagined the scene outside the cabinet, someone patrolling something. I also thought of the kids being bullied and stuffed in the cabinet in campus movies. It's really not a good idea to lock a body in the cabinet, living people quickly rot and stink. After a while, because I tried hard to imagine other things, I didn't dare to come out.
At least, I have to stay in this cabinet for a while,
until the heat becomes unbearable.
My stomach growled like a low roar of something, which really scared me.
I went out, I had to go out.
The air is as hot as boiling oil.
Or you could say,
Turn off the light and wait a while.
I shouldn't have drunk soda, my stomach keeps growling. All sounds that cannot be identified seem so suspicious.
It takes a lot of courage to push the door open.
Open the door, there's nothing except for a few covered shadows. I'm so thirsty, there's soda and juice left in the fridge, mixed with a little bit of drink. I need to take a shower, or maybe a bath.
In front of the mirror, I suddenly noticed my slightly uneven shoulders. I know what's going on and understand the reason. But change takes time. Oh, the overly young teenagers, always talking about themselves.
My skin has a few wounds, and I don't know how it happened. I remember that time at the exhibition, an older gentleman who shared my interests leaned on my shoulder, and we were talking about something. In the midst of our conversation, I habitually said to him, "You little rascal," and he laughed and replied, "I'm a little rascal." "I just fought my way up until I overturned the entire throne."
Which actor's lines are being spoken on the stage? Following the voice, there is someone coming down the stairs.
I remembered some beautiful things, they don't deserve to stay in my memory, it should be said that I don't deserve them. My brain is getting worse day by day, and so is my memory. Clearly, something that happened a second ago is forgotten when I turn around, there's no pressure, but the pressure is too much. I can't think of what to add the adjective "various" to, even though the world is so diverse, it seems like I don't know what to choose. If there's no choice, when eating, when shopping, there's always indecision.
Who loves me or who I love?
Who first raised this question,
Fortunately, I have neither.
Family, I don't understand; friends, I understand even less.
My love,
The idea of spending a lifetime together is something that even our imagination cannot reach, let alone reality. Even if she were standing right in front of me, what could I do?
"What if it were her lying here."
One time, Y drank too much and collapsed on my bed as soon as he entered the door. I hate drunken people.
"What if it was her lying here."
He said that, and I didn't think about what Y meant by saying that.
"It's impossible."
"I said 'if'."
"There's no 'if'."
"If only."
"If you understood, no, you don't understand at all. When I say it's impossible, it's just impossible."
I hate the smell of alcohol on your body getting on my sheets. I shouldn't have bought pink ones. Over time, they naturally become worn out, worse than others.
Last time those fool investigators entered my room and actually asked me if I was homosexual.
"I've never seen a man with a pink bedsheet."
Is that the reason? What a profound idiot. People lose their minds when they have power. I like silence, and in the face of it, people will have their own interpretations.
I mind if anyone else is on my bed, whether it's family or anyone else. If it's her, I worry that I might tarnish her. But it won't happen, it's impossible, absolutely impossible. Since you left, every day related to memories, the tides of rain, all end like this. But you don't care, because I don't care either. But I don't care, so you don't care either.
"Do you know, sometimes I will think of the time when you said, 'You are different from other guys.'"
"What do you mean?"
"Because you are a bit motherly."
What does it mean, feels special, just because of the close relationship?
"You are also different from other guys."
j said this, j also said this.
"Because I rarely see boys buying dolls."
I need something to hold, it's too cold in winter, I need something to hold, you know I'm also planning to buy a pillow, unicorns won't grow up. I need it, because I need it, I just, just need it.
Why is my memory so poor? I can't seem to remember anything. The only thing I can be sure of is that I'm dead, and you're still alive. As I say this, the sentence is placed before my eyes, as if there is some kind of connection between the two, as if there is some kind of connection.
Hmph,
I have told many lies, but lying to you is real.
It seems like I've gone too far this time.
This time, there won't be any more stories in the future.
Wiping away the damp ashes, baby, you're so bad.
My dear, you're so bad.
They all advised me to find someone else. Why hang yourself on one tree? The next time will be better.
"It's been so long, you should have forgotten by now."
What, what should and what should not, what does this mean.
"Better"
What is this saying again?
We are too entangled in rational logic and forget that love itself is illogical. Love is cruel, and everything about love seems so trivial.
"Did we really love each other?"
Sometimes I ask myself that, flipping through endless letters, sweet words, and endearments.
"I want to hear you call me sister."
You later said, "Don't call me sister."
"Quack quack quack...."
Like a duck squawking, I was surprised at how long this letter was.
Adorable mischief.
Why do I always have remnants of being embraced by you in my memories, the fragrance lingering in my arms and hair?
But I fell asleep, but I damn fell asleep.
I don't want to think about it. I can't remember. You're not important. I've forgotten everything. I don't want to think about it. You win.
Irrelevant to the outcome of any gambling game,
Exists or not,
But you won.
Tagore always said, "If that were a gem," he would do this and that, "If that were something else," then how would it be.
"But this is love."
"I don't know the boundaries of this kingdom's land, but you are still the queen of this territory."
And I, like a master who can't afford the taxes, was driven out, and you no longer wanted this castle. I passed by the small shop of that couple again, all the labels were handwritten, it felt very small. Through the shop windows of one tall building after another, I could glimpse one story after another.
But they are all the same, so tired of it.
The woman walking towards me, the lingering scent,
It's all the same.
But I'm always so hungry, but I'm always so hungry
There's still fifty-five bucks, a barbecue meal costs 44
But I'm just so hungry,
Why am I always so hungry?
I think I may understand their misunderstanding.
It seems I have to admit it's because of you.
Hmm... you're the first one who loves me so much.
Before this, I've never experienced this.
I have to shyly admit, even if you hate me, even if you say no.
Preference, it has existed.
Lies, the truth doesn't matter anymore.
I really tasted the feeling of love, because if the tears shed are evidence, then...
If land can be bought and sold, what about the sky above the land?
Strange, tibia just swells and cracks with a touch.
Do you know, do you know, I always think of,
Do you know me
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