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Sang Yu was a bit restless during her afternoon nap, perhaps due to the events of the day, and she found herself dreaming about high school.
"Lu Jingzhi, I brought you breakfast," Sang Yu said as she pulled out a homemade sandwich and a box of milk from her backpack, placing them on Lu Jingzhi's desk.
Her home was close to the school, and since she was a day student while Lu Jingzhi lived on campus, it had become a common occurrence for Sang Yu to bring him breakfast ever since they started dating. Most people had grown accustomed to it, even if they sometimes scoffed at her actions. Behind closed doors, they would whisper about it, but only a few dared to voice their opinions openly.
However, there were still those who teased Lu Jingzhi, saying things like, "Oh! Another breakfast delivery for Brother Lu? You're so lucky to have such a girlfriend!"
Sang Yu heard these comments but remained unfazed; she had grown used to the teasing. Since they became a couple, she had heard her fair share of snide remarks. With her head bowed low, she said nothing.
Lu Jingzhi seemed oblivious to the comments, responding with a cold grunt directed at Sang Yu. Looking at his indifferent expression, a bitter feeling spread in her heart. Once upon a time, as just classmates, he would occasionally show her a kind smile. But now that they were together, he hadn’t smiled at her even once; his smiles were reserved for others.
Yet here she was, still hoping he would stand up for her. Perhaps he even wished that these comments would make her back off. While others in relationships seemed inseparable and affectionate, they felt more like strangers than ordinary classmates.
Sang Yu understood that this distance stemmed from Lu Jingzhi's indifference towards her—perhaps even a hint of dislike—because she clung to him so desperately. He had told her multiple times not to bring him breakfast, but she continued to do so because it was the only time she felt their connection.
A boy behind her picked up the sandwich from Lu Jingzhi's desk and remarked, "This sandwich looks delicious. I wonder if Sang Yu made it herself? Brother Lu, are you going to eat it? If not, I might just take it!"
The boy's voice made Sang Yu's heart sink as she clenched her fists unconsciously. Hearing Lu Jingzhi not refuse the offer turned what used to be sweet words in Sang Yu's ears into something harsh. Tears welled up in her eyes and fell silently onto the ground.
A sharp pain pierced through her heart; it was becoming increasingly difficult for her to hold on. She lifted her gaze towards the blackboard where the countdown to the college entrance exam was written: "Soon! We should be free soon."
When Sang Yu finally woke up, the sky outside had darkened. She lay quietly in bed with her eyes wide open, unable to move. This dream had left her feeling worse than before.
How long had it been since she last dreamed about high school? It seemed like ever since she entered university, those memories had faded away. Yet here she was again because of Lu Jingzhi. With a sigh, Sang Yu sat up in bed.
Since recovering from her illness, she hadn’t thought about having any ties with Lu Jingzhi again; she had given up hope and come to terms with everything. Letting go felt like a relief for both of them.
Letting go of others is also letting go of oneself.
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