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墨書 Inktalez
I watched him quietly as Ji Chuan fell asleep. A message popped up on my phone: "Su Qin, look, A Chuan said he wants to take me out for some fun..."
Two overseas visas were held in Feng Yao's hands. Ji Chuan's phone also buzzed with a text: "A Chuan, can we meet tomorrow? I miss you."
I opened his shopping history and saw that Ji Chuan had bought a hot water bottle, a thermos, and many items he often needed for his stomach pains. His browser search history was filled with queries about stomach issues.
— How should I manage stomach pain?
— How can I lie down comfortably with stomach pain?
— What should I eat for stomach pain?
...
Even while he was with me, he hadn't forgotten about Feng Yao. He was simultaneously preparing to be a father, eagerly anticipating new life, while enjoying the complicated feelings of childhood friends turning into something more. Who did he truly want to be with?
I couldn't sleep. I got up quietly and began to organize my belongings. I threw everything Ji Chuan had given me, including the anniversary gift I had prepared for him, into the trash can, then meticulously packed my own things.
I moved gently, afraid of waking him. The suitcase was full, and my heart felt empty. I placed the suitcase in the wardrobe and lay down beside Ji Chuan, maintaining a distance of an arm's length—neither too close nor too far.
I closed my eyes and gradually fell asleep. When I woke up, Ji Chuan was already gone. If he took a careful look around the house, would he notice that something was missing?
However, he was desperately eager to see Feng Yao, but found nothing. In the end, I received a message: "Qin Qin, I have to go abroad suddenly. Take good care of yourself and the baby." I ignored it.
I called Yu Lei, "Can you help me move?" Yu Lei rushed over immediately to help me pack my things.
"Qin Qin, you finally realized that Ji Chuan is not worth it at all." I tugged at the corners of my mouth and replied, "Yeah, he isn't worth it."
"Come on, let's go quickly," Yu Lei urged me to leave in haste.
As I carried the last item out of the house, I placed a divorce agreement on the coffee table next to a photo that Feng Yao had sent me; I had printed it all out.
Many times, we hesitate to let go simply because we don't feel enough pain. Once we choose to give up, it's really not that difficult.
I smiled and drove away. I bought fresh flowers and some offerings for the grave and headed to the cemetery.
I sat in front of the tombstone for a long time, wanting to talk to my mother but fearing it would worry her. "Mom, I've decided to get a divorce. From now on, it will just be me."
I rubbed my nose and smiled. "But that's okay; I can live well and earn a lot of money. Mom, I will take good care of myself."
As dusk fell, I drove down the mountain. At a sharp turn, I saw a black sedan speeding toward me recklessly. My eyes widened in an instant, and my hands instinctively tightened around the steering wheel as I tried to swerve away, but it was too late.
“Bang!” With a loud crash, my head slammed hard against the steering wheel. Blood flowed uncontrollably as my consciousness began to fade; everything around me was slipping away, including the little life inside me.
When I woke up in the hospital room, the sharp smell of disinfectant pierced my nostrils as I slowly scanned the unfamiliar environment.
Memories gradually returned, flooding in like a tide before the car accident. I instinctively touched my belly, but my movement froze. My fingers hung in the air, and my mind went blank for a moment.
"It's probably for the best. I hope you find a pair of loving parents next time," I murmured to myself.
A sense of inexplicable panic washed over me, as if I had lost something essential.
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